Do you have a sex life list?
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I’m Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions, and I’m so glad you are doing the personalized sex life assessment. In teaching people intimacy techniques for nearly two decades, I found that people want to learn techniques and bedroom communication skills. They want to understand their sexual health. But people love when I give them ideas for having fun, sexy times with a lover.
Figure out what’s good for you and what you need to learn next in your life. Your whole life, you get better at sex. The best lovers are older because you get more experience and try new things. What you liked in your 20s isn’t the same as in your 30s and 40s. If you keep learning new things sexually, it’s like personal sexual growth. You get better in bed, and sex becomes more satisfying, fulfilling, fun, playful, and adventurous. Many people have done this sex life assessment so far.
Interestingly, women tell me one thing that goes on the top of their list is having the experience of female ejaculation. Some call it squirting. You can call it a female ejaculatory orgasm or a liquid orgasm. Other women say that they’d like to have an orgasm from penetration and intercourse without explicitly having to focus on playing with their clitoral structure.
The clitoris is wrapped around the vagina. Once they understand that all women can have orgasms from penetration, you must learn how it goes to the top of their list. Most women are in long-term relationships with men who love intercourse because it’s a pleasure. Those are the two things that women always say. Often women will say I did the assessment and want to do everything because women have a tremendous sense of sexual adventure. They want a partner who can come up with fun things and take them on erotic journeys. Women like all the stuff for men.
Men are starting to understand that they have various orgasmic possibilities. It’s not just the “I’ll climax and have an orgasm, ejaculate and be done” experience. They’re interested in different orgasms, especially the entire body, and becoming a multi-orgasmic male. That’s interesting, as is having the p-spot or prostate orgasm. Men are beginning to realize that it’s unnatural to explore their back door and try new orgasms. Men are selfless lovers in many ways. Men get a bad rap when women think all guys want to get off and be done. That’s not true at all. I found that men will give up their pleasure for their Lover’s pleasure. Men want to know what’s on their bucket list. If you’re same-gendered partners, this works perfectly too.
Very few things in the assessment that are gender non-binary would prevent you from enjoying these pleasures so you can get 99 of the goodness from this assessment. I want to walk you through the appraisal and explain them. If you haven’t gotten the evaluation, go to sex lifebucketlist.com and download the PDF. It’s anonymous. I don’t see your answers. You’re downloading a PDF that you can print out like I have or look at online. It’s easier to print it because you can write and answer the questions, and at the end, you’ll tell me if it’s a b or c. If it’s an a, it’s definitely on your bucket list. This is something you’d like to try, an experience you’d like to have. B’s are not for me right now. It might be something I would do if my partner wanted to do it. I’d be open to doing it, giving them their pleasure. It’s not necessarily something that goes on my bucket list, and C’s are I’m not interested right now because I always want you to hold open the possibility that something that doesn’t seem right for you now could be the thing you want to do in ten years.
You’re ready for the next level of your evolution, so you’ve got your A’s, B’s, and C’s, and I’ll walk you through so you can hear about these experiences and see what appeals to you. Let’s get started on your personalized sex life bucket list. First, we’re going to take a level set at where you are in your sex life now because we’re going to compare before and afters. If you don’t write it down, think about it, and plan for it, it doesn’t happen. You can’t tell if you had a positive benefit if you don’t measure it. We’re going to do the measurement. Question one: How satisfied are you with your sex life on a scale of one to five? Five being the best. Circle one. How would you rate your skills as a lover on a scale of one to five? Are you still brand new in learning, not so good, or do you feel you have mastered sexuality?
Has your sex life been getting better or worse? Sometimes it gets worse. We go through illness; we lose partners if we’re lucky enough to have a partner. Maybe you’re not having what you feel are matched libidos. Perhaps it’s gotten worse recently. It’s okay. Whatever it is, write it down. I want you to consider the average frequency of sexual experiences over the last year. How many times a month have you made love? Have you had sex or generated orgasmic pleasure for yourself or a partner? This includes solo pleasuring. How often are you in a sexual frame of mind and giving yourself or co-creating pleasure? Write that number down. How would you rate your libido versus your partner if you have a partner? Are you a five and your partner’s a one? Are you a 2 and your partner a 4? Write that down and circle those numbers. We get into the A, B, and C. In the first question, I can quickly achieve orgasm. This is more for women than men because women have a more challenging time achieving orgasms than men. Men will all be all A’s. I can do it. It’s no problem. Women might not be doing that, so I wish I were doing better.
This next is for our male-bodied partners: “I can last as long as I want and have unlimited stamina.” For many men, one in four of all ages, premature ejaculation is the number one issue of at least 25 of all men throughout their lives. It’s not something that has to last, but if you are not lasting as long as you want, you would say C. If you’re lasting as long as you want with a partner, it’s an A.
You feel confident and can bring your partner to orgasm if you think you’re with a partner. It’s easy to get an A if it’s difficult and a C if you don’t have a partner. But you have performance anxiety; put that down as a C. Next, we’re going to go down two parallel paths here. You either have female or male-bodied components. You either have a vulva; a urethral sponge called the G-spot, or a penis and testicles and a prostate. They’re the same parts. They all work similarly. What’s interesting is that we’re getting into different types of orgasms. There are three types. The first are locations you can touch, like my penis and clitoris. There are techniques to have orgasms like an expanded orgasm practice or Erotic Hypnosis where I don’t connect with you and make you come on command.
There are tools and objects of desire. It could be a fetish that turns you on and gives you orgasms like latex outfits. It could be something as simple as a sex toy that gives you orgasms. I will discuss toys and tools and show you more in this video. We’re going to start with females, and if you’re a man, you might want to fast forward through this part or listen to it if you’d like to be with women because you’ll be able to understand what orgasms you can help women have.
Mark an A next to the orgasmic experiences you’d like on your bucket list. If you already have clitoral orgasms, they don’t need to go on your bucket list. Clitoral orgasms are called cervical orgasms or orgasms from intercourse or penetration with a penis or dildo. The next is the urethral. It’s called the urethral sponge, but the slang word for it is the G-Spot. There’s a second area on the female body called the u-spot that is on the face of the vulva where the urethral sponge comes out. That’s a second G-spot location. If you haven’t had G-spot orgasms and you’d like to have them and are not even sure where they are and would like to explore, put an A. That’s female ejaculatory and sometimes comes from G-spot pleasuring but not always.
Female ejaculatory is squirting. If you’d like to, all women can release their feminine waters. Just like a man urinates and ejaculates out of his penis, a woman can urinate and ejaculate out of her urethral canal. They work the same way. If you’d like to experience the divine release of your feminine nectar, you can put an A or B next to female ejaculatory or squirting orgasms.
Next are anal-orgasms, perineal orgasms from having your butt played with. This area is very erogenous; in many women, anal-gasms feel better than vaginal orgasms. It’s a rich source of pleasure. The next is your lips, mouth, throat, and neck. Kiss this whole area. It has a lot of erectile tissue. It feels pleasurable and can make you orgasm. The next is using breathing techniques to have full-body orgasms. The breast and nipple are among the best ways to help women get turned on from the inside out. The clitoris needs to become erect for her to have maximum orgasmic pleasure. Touching it from the outside is excellent, but if you stimulate it from the inside out through kissing and breast play, you help arouse her faster. The experience of pleasure is more profound.
Stroke and squeeze the belly. Women and men can have orgasms from stroking their feet like a penis. Full-body energy orgasms. It works with your breath. There are ways you can have orgasms without even touching anything. You can run energy through your body. The next is expanded orgasm. This is one of the play dates we’ll have for your consideration. An expanded orgasm is like being a big Wave Rider. Some orgasms are, “I’m feeling good, but now I’m done.” That’s the classic orgasm. There are multiple of those “I can do over and over.” That’s the shorter refractory period a woman has. It takes a man a long time to recover. I’m going to have a succession of those. Then there are the extended orgasms: “I’m going to take that moment that I have that orgasm, and I will keep it going. Instead of going and being done, you’re going up in that moment of climax; it’s lasting. You’re riding it, and it falls off. You can have a series of those and learn to extend that moment you’re orgasming. You can have an expanded orgasm which is both those things put together.
It’s multiple expanded orgasms that stack and keep getting better. The more you have, the more incredible they get. It’s a clitoral stroking practice. It’s another added to my bucket list, expanded orgasm, Erotic Hypnosis, and learning how to come on command. They are great for long-distance relationships.
Orgasmic fantasy and role play. If that’s something you want to explore as a path to orgasm, it can be fun. Then there’s sensation play. That’s a category of what would be considered Kink or BDSM. But it’s not BDSM; it’s sensation play which is spanking, feathers, tickles, and sensations created in the body. You get into DS or dominance submission and rough sex. That can include being ravished, restrained, blindfolding, or orgasm control.
There are sex toys themselves. We’ve moved from places to touch, skills, and techniques for orgasm into actual objects that create pleasure. There are different vibrators. There are air stimulators like the Womanizer that lick and suckle the clitoris. There is the Volta that motorboats your clitoral structure. There are thrusters and pulsators. They go back and forth and are used internally inside the vagina. There are G-spot wands. This is a combination of a G-spot rod and a Thruster. It has a point that strokes the G-Spot. There’s an excellent guide to how to use these without hurting someone at gspotjoy.com.
There are butt toys like plugs vibrating or otherwise. These are called B-balls. They jingle inside you as Santa comes to your town and butt. Nipple stimulators. They’re nipple clamps. Dildos and strap-ons. This happens to be light. This one’s a woman-to-woman or a woman-to-man product. She puts this inside her and uses this as her appendageal penis. Dildos can be fun.
Vibrating cock-rings. There are different sizes. This one’s a double vibrating cock-ring from Hot Octopus, the Atom Plus. I’ve got it at the bottom of your assessment. If you see something that tickles your fancy, you’ll be able to find it. This one is nice for his perineal pleasure and clitoral pleasure for her. This is the NOS, a nice one from Fun Factory. This fits a wide range of penises and has little rabbit ears that tickle her clitoris. This one’s nice and lightweight. She can use this by hand and can be a great cock-ring. Bluetooth programmable toys like the Mystery Vibe Crescendo are fantastic. There are also fun remote-control devices.
Those are some of your options for A’s for orgasms for gals and your penis owners. I don’t have a penis. I have a nice meaty vagina. Penis owners are obviously, “Touch my penis and make me orgasm.” The prostate is a tiny nut inside you.
This is the bladder. The urethra runs through and out of your penis. This loves to be stimulated through the perineal and anal areas. That’s of great interest to men. If you please the penis while playing with the prostate, you get a blended orgasm. It’s similar to the blended orgasm. You can give a woman G-spot while simultaneously pleasuring her clitoris and sending energy through your fingers through her body. That’s in unison. Some men like urethral sounding, which is putting something up the urethral shaft of the penis. That gives them orgasms. There’s the whole anal perineal ass pleasure palette. There’s mouth and throat because you’re built the same as women and can come from kissing and having toys or a penis in your mouth. Go down on a woman and get off on it so much that you experience pleasure in your lips and mouth. Your tongue is giving you orgasms.
There are neck-gasms. Remember hickeys from high school. There are breath-gasms. Learn breath work to give yourself orgasms. The only reason you’re not having Nipplegasms is that you have a limiting belief that you shouldn’t or couldn’t, or it’s not a thing. Your nipples are just as sensitive. Women have nipples that aren’t very sensitive. You learn to make them more sensitive by pleasuring them. You create new neural pathways where you send pleasure signals to the brain and have orgasms. There are core orgasms. We talked about belly-gasm and foot-gasm. It is available to you.
Full-body energy orgasms are something we teach in our Multi-orgasmic Lover for Men program. Non-ejaculatory male multiple orgasms. You don’t have to ejaculate when you have an orgasm; you can retain the ejaculation and release it whenever you want to and have an ejaculatory choice to decide when it’s right. Some men want to ejaculate every day, and that’s shown to be very good for prostate care. Other men on the other end of that bell curve, ejaculating, exhausts them and makes them lose focus. Sometimes, it even makes them depressed. Honor what is suitable for you in your life and allow it to morph as you grow and change.
The next is the Expanded Orgasm which in the male world is often called edging, where you take yourself close to the point of no return but not beyond so that you can ride that orgasmic climactic edge and keep enjoying it.
Erotic Hypnosis is being told to come on command. Orgasmic fantasy, role and sensation play, and dominance and submission. Many men have admitted to me recently that they’re very interested in learning how to receive and even being in the submissive role. These are perfectly viral men who want to experience the full range of their sexual possibilities. If that appeals to you, I want you to embrace it because it’s not about what people tell you you can or cannot have. It’s about what you want behind closed doors in the privacy of your own life.
Sex toys for men. There are many great vibrators. The masturbation sleeves from Hot Octopus work for men with erectile dysfunction who can’t gain a full erection. It has a pad on the inside, and this sleeve is great for stroking the penis and giving it a vibration plate on the frenulum that feels nice. If you flip it over and have your penis in, you can have a female-body partner ride on top. She can get off on the vibrator while you’re getting off on the vibrating plate. That’s a super neat thing.
There are prostate massagers. I showed you the one I liked earlier because it has a remote control. It’s very soft, and you could have this inserted inside you. Your woman could hold this while riding on top of you and giving you blended orgasms. Perhaps she’s riding you, and her vagina is on your penis. This is stimulating your prostate, and you’re making out. This is another type of prostate massager. I like this one because it’s curved nicely and has a tip similar to the G-Spot wand. These share that pointy tip that can get to the exact perfect spot.
There are butt toys, nipple stimulators, dildos, and strap-ons. Men love the notion of pegging and enjoying that feeling. There are vibrating cock-rings. This is a perineal stimulation and wonderful Bluetooth programmable toy. That’s 20 orgasms you can have. You could spend the rest of your life doing that.
I have quite a few more ideas for you, so shall we continue? I’d like to know if you want regular solo pleasuring practice. Many people are unsure if masturbation is good. The more you do, the better you get. The next is mutual masturbation with a partner. Instead of having sex, you can be together but pleasure yourselves and enjoy doing that with each other. You can incorporate sex toys into partnered sex. In this age of sex tech, when we’ve got these incredible things, why wouldn’t you be bringing these into your partnered play? Why wouldn’t you have all the orgasms you can have? This opens up a new world when you combine partner and sex tech.
The next is sensual massages, including breast massage and nipple massage for each other. That always goes on my list. I want sensual massages and foreplay every time I have sex. You start with the hugs, love, and kissing and work in decentral massage. The next is giving and receiving, petting and stroking. When we think about sex, we feel about intercourse or having an orgasm. Petting and stroking and having our hair brushed can be so luxurious. If that’s something you’re pining for, put it on your bucket list so your partner can give it to you.
The next is erotic kissing and make-outs. Many couples tell me they don’t like how their partner kisses, but you’ve got to stay at it. Some are good kissers, while some aren’t as good and better at other things. They might be better at intercourse, oral, essential massages, or foot-gasms. Since sex is a learned skill, you must stay at the kissing and keep trying until you find your way together and train each other to kiss how you both get off on it.
Ear and neck play is so sexy when someone breathes in your ear—being held or holding. You’ll notice that after a few of these assessments, there’s an underlined sentence phrase or word that’s a website you can click on that will give you a complete technique.
Nine out of ten of them are free. The Soulmate Embrace is a way of holding your lover how they’ve always dreamed of being held. You’ll wonder, “How did I not know how to do this?” Holding is an integral part of connecting hearts, and my style of sex is passionate lovemaking, heart-connected conscious, passionate lovemaking where two become one. The place to start connecting is through holding and being held. The next is orgasmic manual genital massage—stroke the lingam and pleasure the yoni, the woman’s genitals. Lingam is the men’s genitals. Warm your hands with warm oil. I like avocado, jojoba, sweet, and almond oil. Give someone a 30-minute massage of their genitals. It can be orgasmic and feels erotic.
You can move to orgasmic oral pleasuring techniques. I have the Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection. I still make DVDs because there are people who don’t have broadband in rural areas. I also made a digital version. This Video Collection has over 200 techniques with 60 oral pleasuring techniques for him and her. Every time I watch this, I see new things I’ve forgotten or didn’t see the last time I watched it that I can try again. You can’t think up all the techniques. The more you learn, the better you get, and your sex life is better.
Orgasmic oral pleasuring. Many people say, “I don’t really like oral. It doesn’t make me come.” I tell them that’s because you haven’t had good oral yet. Hold out hope because you can’t help but come when you get good oral. The next is how to orgasm while receiving oral pleasure. You can give oral pleasure income and receive oral pleasure. You want to do both those things. You want to come while giving it. The same as you come while getting it.
I want to create an orgasmic microcosmic orbit from mutual simultaneous oral pleasuring. Most people think about giving and receiving oral pleasure at the same time.
Sixty-nine. You have your mouth on their genitals. They have theirs on yours. If you have good body dynamics, it all fits together, and that’s terrific. The microcosmic orbit is an ancient Chinese practice of tantric sex. There is this notion that an energy circuit runs through your body. When you connect as lovers, you simultaneously give and receive orgasmic pleasure. You can conjoin your microcosmic orbits, so you’re running your sexual energy through your bodies and feeling each other.
Everything becomes one. You become one. You lock your limbic systems together and ride the orgasms together. It’s an incredible experience. Many say, “I don’t like 69 because I can’t concentrate, so I can’t come because I’m getting done at the same time.” I say do it more. Practice makes perfect. This is a learned skill. The more you give and get simultaneously, the more you can drop in with your partner into this microcosmic energy orgasm orbit. It takes about six months of consistent lovemaking to start being good together.
When you’re with somebody new, you must keep trying these things, and they improve. Next, I want to learn sex positions simultaneously stimulating multiple erogenous zones. I like to give people new sex positions. Sex positions are one of the easiest things you can add to your bucket list that make it fun. New relationship energy is exciting even if you’ve been together forever. At sevenpositions.com, you can download an illustrated guide with my favorite seven positions, including yab-yum, chingalinga, and headboard daddy.
I want to have sex in new or unusual locations, the back of the SUV, out on the golf course, in the pool house. Where do you want to go? If the unique places sound fun, put them on your list. I want to give and receive more sensual talk. Pillow Talk, adoration, encouragement, appreciation, or dirty talk. Many people don’t talk dirty. Many are quiet during sex and don’t talk dirty because they don’t know what to say. They’re worried they’ll feel weird or upset with their partner. I put together a free downloadable ebook called Dirty Talk. It teaches you these different types of dirty talk.
You can say what you see and share how you’re feeling. You can tell a sexy story, moan and give verbal feedback. You can share frames. If you’d like to hear more or up your dirty talk, this is the way to go.
I want to share fantasies. This is part of talking dirty; you can add them to your lovemaking. It’s safe because they’re fantasies. I want to hear more auditory feedback from my partner, moan, and give verbal feedback.
I dated a guy with hearing loss; before I dated him, I didn’t moan loudly. I was quiet and used to have sex with my eyes and mouth shut. Over the years, I’ve learned that different people need different things since I’ve gotten better at sex, learning and teaching skills, going through my transformations, and having partners. This gentleman couldn’t hear well, especially out of one ear. But he required a lot of verbal feedback. I had to moan loud, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me because I learned how to be an excellent loud moaner and give great feedback, which made all my subsequent lovers so appreciative because they knew they were doing a great job.
They didn’t have to wonder. Moaning can be good, and you get good doing it like everything. I want to feel comfortable making requests during sex and encourage my partner to ask for what they want. This one’s the king or queen of all sex techniques in my book Sexual Soulmates. In one of my best-selling books, The Six Essentials to Connected sex, I teach you the Sexual Soulmate Pact. I must pull it out of the book. You don’t even need to buy the book. You go to sexualsoulmatepact.com. It teaches you how to know what you want confidently and ask for it so that it doesn’t make your partner contract or feel they’re doing anything wrong. You can do it right in the moment of sex and give little bitty course corrections, and your partner will be happy that you did that.
Next, do you want to learn how to share your favorite frames? This is a part of the Dirty Talk book. It’s something you do after sex. A frame is like a snapshot of a moment from sex with your partner. You tell them, “When you were taking your finger and rubbing it from the hood of my clit down my inner labia right along that pretty frilly edge down to my fourchette….” Let me show you where I’m talking about. Here’s the vulva. See how the hood becomes the inner labia and comes down here. Mine has this little bundle of tissue at the bottom called the fourchette. That edge can feel so good. My partner would have never known that had I not shared the frame of that delicious moment when he gave me this long incredible orgasm tracing it slowly.
Over the years, I could activate the tissue in my yoni so that I enjoy being touched differently. If you would like to learn to share favorite frames, give your partner feedback, and let them know your body-based experiences when they were doing things to you, it helps you get perfect.
Would you like to dress or have your partner dress in sexy costumes, lingerie, sexy heels, latex, and BDSM-style gear? I love to wear sexy clothes. I’ve got an unlimited sexy shoe and lingerie budget, and this stuff doesn’t cost much. It can be super fun. I like my man to look sexy too.
Would you like to take photos or videos of yourself or your partner in sexy outfits or having sex? Many couples take videos of themselves having sex and watch it later. It can be incredibly erotic. Are you interested in playing sensually or sexually with other partners together or separately in a relaxed way, such as threesomes, moresomes, group sex, orgies, nudist retreats, and sex parties?
Many even want to go to a party and look at other people and aren’t ready to get involved. When you go to those parties, you can show up, be kind, talk to people, see what’s going on and get used to it. It might be of interest to you. Are you open to considering if the conditions are right? You have to understand your requirements. It’s okay to change situations as you gain experience or an ongoing polyamorous or open relationship, a-don’t-ask-don’t-tell relationship outside your primary relationship.
Casual sex without emotional attachment or something else entirely that I haven’t listed. Is there something you’d like to do with a relationship construct that you’d like to put on your bucket list? Would you enjoy giving or receiving a floor show, pole dance, lap dance, or erotic dance? A floor show is where you’re lying on the bed or the floor and moving around and dancing. You’re putting your legs up and down and showing a little peep. It’s not quite as strenuous as pole dancing. I can’t do this because I’m not a pole dancer. You can do this because the floor show is easy. It might be fun. Go to an exotic dance club. Would you enjoy water play, such as sex in a hot tub, a natural spring, a waterfall, or a shower? Are you interested in kinky sex such as spanking, flogging, restraints, blindfolding, or sensation play?
Would you enjoy rope art bondage called Shibari, tied up doing the tying or taking turns? Would you want to be restrained on a piece of sex furniture like a liberator wedge? Those big wedges have little things attached to the side, and you can put cuffs on and be held down in different sex positions. There’s sex furniture and sex wedges. Would you like to do this or have your partner do it? Would you enjoy feeling dominated or dominating your lovers in ways such as being pinned down, wrestling, having your hair held tightly, and having your neck held? Not choking. That’s what’s dangerous. Keep the palm and thumb here, nice and soft, and press on the sides. Just put a little pressure on the sides but hold plenty of room around the neck. That holding like a mommy cat has her kitten in her mouth, and the kitty goes limp. It’s a way of being held but not choked.
Have your appendages restrained or being contained while having sex? Would you enjoy wearing a harness and a dildo or strap-on and penetrating your partner or doing this to you? Would you enjoy playing with your partner with a remote control sex toy such as a vibrator or a prostate massager? Would you like to explore your back door with anal play, including ass massage fingering or penetration with a toy or a penis? Would you enjoy using a vacuum erection or suction devices such as a penis vulva clitoris, or nipple pump for engorgement enlargement or increased sensation?
Would you be interested in penis enlargement techniques? Here’s a small cylinder. It attaches here, and you pump it up. You put your penis inside, pulling air out of the cylinder and blood into your clitoris or your penis. It helps with inverted nipples, draws more blood, and increases the blood-carrying capacity. It stimulates new tissue growth and enlarges your penis or clitoris. You can grow into larger sizes. This particular pump is called the Whopper. If you go to pumpingguide.com under penis enlargement techniques, I can teach you how to do it. It works. There’s a 13-week program, but it takes about 12 months to see significant growth, but you’ll see change as soon as four weeks. This is where your penis and testicles go because pulling out the vacuum pulls on the suspensory ligament, this yellow thing. This makes your penis go up. When you tug and lengthen it, it extends your penis. The pump both increases girth and length.
It increases overall penile and clitoral volume. You don’t need the big one for the clitoris, but you can increase your clitoral shaft size and make your clitoris bigger. You can also use sexual regenerative treatments to increase the size of your clitoris and penis. There’s the P shot and O shot. You can also get filler added hyaluronic acid which can reverse a lot of vaginal and erectile penile atrophy.
As you age, your penis shrinks, and your vagina gets thinner. The tissue gets more delicate with the loss of estrogen as you age. You have vaginal laxity. He might get erectile dysfunction. You can reverse that. You might have painful sex and incontinence. One of the best ways to do it is with GAINSWave or FEMIwave. Its acoustic wave goes into the erectile tissue, both hers and his, and stimulates new tissue growth. It knocks the plaque off the genital artery system and increases the blood-carrying capacity, which increases engorgement and erection, which sends more pleasure signals back to the brain, so you feel more pleasure and have more erectile function.
You get a clitoral or penile erection which we need for good sex. You can also do home devices. The Phoenix is an at-home acoustic shock wave device. If you go to dicklifter.com, you can see it. You can administer Shockwave to your penis. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just noisy, and there’s also one for her, the Phoenix Her. There’s also the VFit, a photo-biomodulation device. It uses red light therapy intravaginally. It has warmth and vibration and reconstitutes the vaginal mucosal lining when it’s thinning with age, and you have painful sex. It helps with incontinence and toning. You need a good grip to have good orgasms and pelvic musculature for good contractions. The Whopper, GAINSwave, FEMIwave, VFit Gold, Phoenix Black, the PhoenixHer. All these things work well to restore function in aging genitals.
You are a better lover the older you get if you keep everything in good working order. The next thing you can do is supplement with libido botanicals and nitric oxide boosters. I own a supplement company, and I make these because they’re the best on the market for sexual function. This is FLOW. It’s at buyflownow.com. FLOW is a nitric oxide booster made with organic fruit and vegetables. By the time you’re 50, you have half the nitric oxide production you did at 20. Blood flow is what nitric oxide creates, and we need blood flow for satisfying sex. I also have a libido botanical line called DESIRE and a daily multivitamin multi-mineral supplement with libido botanicals built inside. It’s one a day with a little something more. It’s great when you’re doing pumping or restoration work. If you feel your libido diminishes, it’s a lack of testosterone in both men and women.
It’s because you don’t have the right minerals in your system to decouple the testosterone from its bound state. You don’t have it free to use, and your sex is depressing. Vitamins, minerals, and nitric oxide are two things that work synergistically together to improve your desire, libido, orgasmic function, vaginal lubrication, and male erectile firmness. Such simple stuff can make a huge difference. The next thing is hormone replacement therapy. If you’re over 40 or starting to go into menopause and andropause, you might want to look at testosterone replacement.
For women, estrogen replacement, adding progesterone, and looking at your cortisol levels and thyroid are all essential parts of staying sexually vital. You can also try sexual peptides such as PT141 or bremelanotide. It works in the melatonin channel to give you erections from the inside out. There’s also the arrow spray which you can get from Wells Pharmacy. Addie and Vilisi are two pharmaceutical-grade injections of this peptide available. They’re super sexy aphrodisiacs.
We’re taking our left turn here to nipple clamps, jewelry, or genital piercings. For some people, that is highly erotic, and you may be interested in practicing tantric or spiritual sex techniques. There are so many great Tantra workshops and classes in the market. This might be fun for you to pursue.
Would you be interested in having expanded orgasms or orgasmic meditation practice? I talked about this clitoral stroking technique that takes you into this incredible, expanded stacking type of orgasm. You can learn more about it at expandherorgasmtonight.com. It’s a fantastic couple’s practice for getting beyond intercourse and getting her to be highly orgasmic. It’s great for couples who can no longer achieve an erection even with all the regenerative treatments which sometimes happen to people. They want to have an incredible sex life. Expanded orgasm practices are lovely. I’ve had one for going on 20 years with my husband. I have a date with him after this for an extended orgasm date.
Would you be interested in giving or receiving the blissful experience of female ejaculation, squirting, G-spot pleasuring, or healing? This was top on the list of women that I’ve talked to. At femaliquidorgasm.com, we teach you how to do it yourself, with a partner, or with a toy. Would you be interested in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with unlimited stamina? Using the ME Breath, you can have full-body energy orgasms and not feel the urge to ejaculate and have an ejaculatory choice. You can come when you want to. Any man can learn this, and it’s straightforward. You can learn more about it at tuningforktip.com.
The most important thing about a multi-orgasmic man is that when you’re able to manage your ejaculatory choice, come when you want to and not a minute before or come when they beg you, you can show how good your sex is feeling. Many guys worry about coming too fast and hold themselves back. They can’t entirely go for it, so their partner says, “Maybe I don’t make you feel good. I can’t tell. Are you having a good time? You’re so quiet.”
When you have the ME Breath technique wired into your body, you learn it during masturbation and do it during pleasurable sex with a partner. You’re like, “This is so good. I’m coming! This is so good. You make me feel so good, baby! It’s incredible when you’re doing that.”
They’re doing that because they will resonate with you. That’s a vital tip, a technique for male-body partners to learn. Here’s another one for my athletes, yogis, and embodied folk. Would you like to try a tantric 360-degree double helix intercourse sex position? This is one of those Thursday night date nights. Let’s give it a try one time. I’m not sure you want to do a double 360-degree helix sex position every time you have sex, but it’s nice to check it off your bucket list.
I get the best feedback from men and women for this technique. I get feedback that has 37 exclamation points. We tried it, and it worked as promised. It’s called Thrust in Time, an ancient Taoist practice I brought into the 21st century. Taoists did seem into retention so they could have stamina. They never came, but guys like to come. I created an intercourse technique that solves the two biggest problems. The biggest problem for men is they come too fast. They come before they want to. They can’t hold off before she can orgasm during intercourse, penetration, and penis-in-vagina sex.
Her most significant issue is she can’t come without stroking her clitoris while you’re inside her or using a vibrator. I love doing that. It’s better when there’s nothing in the way of the two of you. She’s coming, and you don’t have to worry about coming too fast, and you can give her all the orgasms she wants from your penis.
Thrust in Time is an incredibly clever technique that lets you have stamina and lets her come from orgasm even if she’s never had an orgasm from intercourse. People always write to me: “I got to four, and she came. I got to five, and she came. Oh my God, Hallelujah. She came from intercourse.” If you’re in a long-term relationship with a male or female-bodied partner in a heterosexual monogamous relationship and she’s not coming, how long will she want intercourse?
That’s why they stop having sex because it’s not that fun for her. She’s done it long enough. It’s not enough to be close. It’s not enough; she feels she’s used and doesn’t want to do it anymore. If you want to close that orgasm gap between how easy it is for him and how hard it is for her, you can cross the chasm using the Thrust in Time technique. You might want to put that on your bucket list.
Let’s finish it up. Now is the time for you to put your little A’s. Read them, get your A’s, put them on the list, rank, order, and prioritize them. If you’re doing this with a partner, have them do it. Share your bucket lists. See what’s in common and see what they want to do that you’d be willing to do for them and with them and vice versa. I love to hear your stories on top of the assessment. You are welcome to email me your success story or any question. You’ll also see links at the end of the evaluation and more of what I showed you.
If you have any questions, let me know. I also have had a full-time customer care team for over a decade. You make us the good people we are through your questions and triumphs. Put any comments below this video, and let me know if you need anything or want to comment. I always want to hear what’s on the top of your sex life bucket list. I’m Susan Bratton. I’m at betterlover.com and personallifemedia.com. You can follow me on Instagram @SusanBratton, and I’ll see you on the other side.