Enhancing Intimacy and Sexual Health: Insights from Amy Pearlman and Susan Bratton

In this engaging conversation, Amy Pearlman, a board-certified urologist specializing in men’s health, and Susan Bratton, an intimacy expert, delve into the world of men’s sexual health, regenerative therapies, and sexual biohacking. They discuss the importance of communication skills, sexual techniques, and understanding our anatomy for a fulfilling sex life. The conversation also touches upon topics such as prostate health, penis pumps, enlargement methods, vacuum erection devices, PRP, and Gaines Wave. Additionally, Susan Bratton shares exciting details about her upcoming documentary that explores the intricacies of intimacy in marriages and offers valuable insights on how to address intimacy issues. This conversation is a treasure trove of knowledge for anyone seeking to enhance their sexual health and overall well-being.

Full transcript

Amy: Hi, my name is Amy Pearlman and I’m a board certified urologist with expertise in men’s health and sexual health. And I have Susan Bratton here with me, Susan.

Susan: Yes. Hi, I’m Susan Bratton, friend of Dr. Amy Perlman. We share a love of urology of the penile testicle prostate axis and men’s sexual health, regenerative therapies and sexual biohacking.

I’m an intimacy expert. I’m an expert to millions and I help people transform having sex into making love and the three legged stool of a great sex life, which is communication skills, sexual techniques and understanding of our anatomy and sexual health and wellness. And so today on these series of episodes that Amy and I have co created for you.

We are talking a lot about how you have great sex, how you talk to your partner, fantasy sharing, sexual health and wellness, all about the prostate, penis pumps and penis enlargement, vacuum erection devices, PRP, Gaines Wave, you name it. We got into a lot and we’re really excited. to have you go on this journey with us and hope that it opens more opportunity for you.

So let’s get started.

Amy: Absolutely. And the beauty of what we’re talking about is when you get an intimacy specialist. in the same room or segment as a urologist and we talk about this from all different angles. That’s where miracles and changes are made.

Susan: There’s a documentary being made about me and my work and I was working with the filmmaker on the script because we’re using a fictional couple to tell the story and then I’m in it as well as other experts around What happens when people stop being intimate in a marriage and why and how do you fix it?

So it should be really good.

Amy: Oh my gosh. When do you, when is it going to be available? Once it coming out?

Susan: Probably 2025. But maybe 2024. It takes a while. We have a multi staged rollout. So There’s just, it has a lot of moving parts to it. We still have to make the, make the film, but it’s fun. It’s a fun project.

And I’m going to most likely write a book, excuse me. In tandem with it so that it has a book rollout and a film rollout. And so it’s a big project, but honestly, it’s like the combination of everything that I’ve done and know. So it’s really just pulling it together in ways that makes it accessible to people.

And I’m using a lot of the tech and there’s a lot of biz dev and I have to fundraise for it. And, you know, there’s a lot of pieces to it, but it’s all going to happen. It’s like, I, I love that quantum bullshit. It’s already done. We just haven’t gotten there. And I’m like, okay, I like that.

Amy: Do you feel pressure to like, give everything that you know, and like, write it down all in words?

Like, how do you even put all that information from all your books together?

Susan: There is a fundamental ecosystem that I have. So when I was going through this, this, this early, you know, working through the problem of a lack of desire for my husband due to it not being great for me. And because we didn’t know what we were doing.

So we learned how easy it is to fix it. I was working in Silicon Valley and in Silicon Valley. Venture capitalists think about their business funding as an ecosystem. They want to fund companies in the entire, all the parts of the ecosystem. So they’re making money in everything. And the companies can work together in a kiretsu, which is a Japanese word for all the companies buy from each other and it makes even more money.

So I thought in that way of like a constellation, an interoperable constellation, an ecosystem. And so when I was putting together the products and programs that I was going to publish for the company to teach people what to do, I knew that I had to have very, like, there’s a place to start. And then there are steps that you can go through to increment your ability to co create pleasure in new ways together.

And that’s a, that’s a combination of communication skills and pleasuring techniques. And in the pleasuring, the communication skill, the very base of it is pleasure. How do I know what I want and ask for it with confidence that my partner is eager to hear it will be happy to know it will take action on it and I’ll be encouraged by their actions to tell them more and more and more over time such that everything there’s nothing we can’t say to each other.

And we’ve moved beyond fear of talking into the pleasure of the verbal part of sexuality, sensual talk, adoration, guidance, sharing experiences, all that. So that’s kind of the communication path. You work your way up. Then there’s the pleasuring skills path that you work your way up. And that’s kind of like understanding your genital anatomy.

It’s. Pleasuring Pleasuring the anatomy the way that it likes to be pleasured. It’s learning how to have pleasure in the giving of pleasure. It’s learning how to fully receive and ride and sustain the sensations of expanding your pleasure. Which begets the learning of limbic connection and presence, which is a series of skill sets that you begin to get good at with practice sex being a practice.

And then there are specific techniques. If you’re called to awaken your G spot or learn to have, learn to give or receive oral fantastically orgasmic oral pleasuring, or learning how to orgasm from intercourse, which is. Skill that most women think they just can’t do and they don’t realize that they’re not broken.

They just you know, you just need to understand literally I have a little balloon I show women what their vagina is like and how to pleasure it, you know so It was really All of the different parts, female ejaculation, male multiple orgasm, expanded orgasm, the 20 kinds of orgasm, orgasmic activation sex positions, body dynamics.

There’s all these different things that you can learn. And what I did over the last two decades was I put, I wrote, or, or found people who were really good at teaching and then published their work. All these, this constellation, this ecosystem of techniques that makes you have the kind of sex that keeps getting better and better so you can get on the upward pleasure spiral.

So I spend a lot less of my time in the fixing the trauma, the abuse, the repression the ignorance and fear from lack of education and more in the talked with psycho psych psychotherapist about that. Come to me when you feel brave and brave enough and desire enough to take the step into learning about pleasure and connection.

And that’s the ecosystem that I’ve created. And that will also be in a series as a part of the film called the Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection Volume 2 because I have Volume 1 with 200 pleasuring techniques. And so that’s how it all got created. I thought about it that way, I created it over the years and now I’m doing the second round of it in new content.

So it’s pretty exciting.

Amy: Oh my gosh, I love it. You make it sound so simple and yet so complex at the same time. And I love everything about it.

Susan: Right. I think if you think about it at a systems level and you know what you’re going for with sex, I think that’s very important is that, I call myself an orgasmonaut.

I like to dress up in a silver, sexy, space suit and walk around telling people I’m an orgasmonaut. Because I like to go to the far reaches of our human orgasmic potential. And I like to come back and say, okay, I just have this incredible experience and here’s how to do it. These are the, this is how you get that experience, either locations to touch or techniques to use or, Objects of desire that deliver sensations that are different than the physical form can create.

So sex toys, they have magical powers. And I think that that’s when, when you tell a person, here’s the map, it is possible. And here’s how you do it. And you just apply that. To orgasms, just like you’d apply it to, here’s how you make a pie. These are the ingredients. Set the oven to this and do this. And it is that easy because we have a basic human operating system.

So when you get to the, I’m willing to learn and be open to trying and I know it’s a practice and I don’t expect it to be instantly good and I’m willing to give it a couple of shots to get good at it. When you come in with that learning mindset, That, Oh God, we never learned these things. I’m going to learn these things myself.

I’ve forgiven my parents. I’ve let all that stuff go. It’s my job to learn. So show me the map.

Amy: Susan, how do we get people though to take that leap? Because I see people before and after it, really at any point in their journey, right? in the medical system. And I’m trying to figure out a way to very empathically say, okay, you have this medical problem and I’m going to address it from the health perspective.

But also we need to address it. You mentioned the technique perspective and the communication perspective. And, and I think people know intrinsically that those two are important, but how do I empower or get them to make the steps to actually put in the work, to learn how to be a better lover.

Susan: If your sexual life isn’t satisfying, there are many things that you can do and know and learn to make it better.

I’ve found that it’s a combination of communication skills and understanding some pleasuring techniques. And those are things that you can learn and there are a lot of really good teachers out there online now who you can find your way to to find who suits you and maybe learn some things from them.

You can study sexuality. There are books about sex to read. And what’s shown in pornography in the movies is not typically what lovers want. That’s entertainment, not heart connection. And if that’s something that you think could help your relationship and support your life because you know the longer your sex span, the longer your health span and the longer you live.

You live a longer, healthier life when you have frequent, intimate connection. It’s been proven in studies. And so if you’re the kind of person who’s like, Oh, I like what Dr. Perlman saying to me here, you know, this really, this is kind of resonating that a medical professional is telling, encouraging me to learn about my sexuality as part of furthering my health and longevity.

That that’s, I could hear this from her. I could take this in. Okay Doc, where do I go? Well, I’ve often found that just googling something like passionate lovemaking techniques can find someone. I particularly like Susan Bratton. She’s an intimacy expert with a focus on monogamous pair bonded couples and she’s really good at teaching people techniques.

Maybe check her out, but just start the journey and you’ll find your way. And everyone’s path is different, but it’s exciting and healthy for you. Thanks for asking.

Amy: I love everything that you just said. I think within the medical community, we we know we should bring it up, but we’re not given the words to do it.

And we’re oftentimes not taught about these resources. So since you and I initially spoke, two months ago or something, anyone who expresses any interest in being a better lover, I just send them your website and they don’t need necessarily a whole book. They just need, where’s the place for me to start and it’s easy to send someone a website.

Susan: Yeah. Better lover is a nice website because it has 200 different videos. One of the things that I, I find with people and their sexuality is everybody’s got some little thing in their mind that they’d like to do. But you never know what it is. So some of them want to have their first orgasm, and some of them have stamina issues, and some of them are you know, not really sure they’re doing intercourse right, and, you know, whatever it is.

What I like about Better Lover is that you can both get on my newsletter there, but you can also just Type any word into the search box and videos will come up about that sex word. So I like that because there’s lots of videos. I’ve answered by this time, by decades into your career. I’ve taken, you know, anybody that’s on my email newsletter, when they reply to an email, it comes into my inbox and I answer them.

I answer my own mail. I spend hours and hours a week answering questions, but that’s what’s made me good. Just like as you’ve in a clinical setting. Seen patient after patient after patient, you see the patterns, you see the problems. You begin to develop the solutions and over time the solutions get better and better and better, which is one of the things I’m looking forward to talking to you about is prostate issues and erectile dysfunction issues in men, nighttime urination, prostatitis, you know, some of these, some of these issues that are really plaguing men and their sexuality because I’m telling them things to do and you’re telling them things to do and we’re telling them different things to do.

And I’m dying to compare notes and what I love. So I really want to spend a lot of time on that. And I, what I love is when someone comes. And when someone comes to me with a question, nine times out of 10, I can be like, read this article, watch this video and email me back what questions you have. And one out of 10, they asked me something and I have to really research it and think about it.

Like yesterday I got an email from a woman who said, I’m on medication and I have a new boyfriend and we’re going to be intimate soon. And I am having trouble. With my sexuality, like something like that. And I was like, reply, what medication? What problems, you know, like I need a little bit more, but people, they don’t even want to, they don’t know how to even put into words their issues, you know?

And so she wrote me back and the, the medication was a very, very common antidepressant. And she was having trouble achieving orgasm. She just quite couldn’t quite get there anymore. So everything was dampened. So my advice to her was that, and that was a new one for me. I’m starting to see that more and more, as more and more people are on more and more medications, we, I have to give them some ideas about what to do and it’s not right.

It’s not get off the medication. That’s not my job. My job is to help them figure out how to deal with it in their sex life, not out of their sex life. And so I told her, Okay, here’s the beautiful thing about your vulva and your vagina. All of your parts, all of your lady parts is that they can all be activated.

And so right now the neural signals between your genital system and your brain are dampened by this antidepressant. And so What we have to do is we have to really focus on activating your vulva and vagina and getting it back to where it’s easy for you to orgasm. It’s kind of like neural atrophy. And physical atrophy.

That’s what I’m dealing with here. She’s been too depressed to even have a boyfriend. She’s feeling better now. She’s got a boyfriend on the line. We got to get this girl some orgasms, right? So I told her to do a combination of things. I said I told her about these lubes. I’ll get some of these sent to you if you’d like to have them.

This is a CBD based, what I call a pleasure protocol. And essentially it’s this arousal oil that you put all over the vulva. You wipe it on the mons, the outer labia, the inner labia, the vestibule, the foreshad, the introidal sphincter, the clitoral shaft, the clitoral glands, the clitoral hood, everything, just a layer of it that wakes up the signal to the brain.

And then you use a series of Tools to stimulate different parts of the vulva and I recommend it to her too. I recommend it. You want to see him? I do want to see them. Recommended to her. This one and this one I recommended to her one that really wakes up all the external vulval tissue. This is a wand.

It’s called the Vim from Fun Factory and it penetrates. You can put it on your skin, but it doesn’t jiggle your skin. It goes into your body almost like an ultrasound, but it’s a vibrational sound and an acoustic wave into your body. And what it does is it. Activates all that vulval tissue, clitoral tissue, everything really just starts to bring the blood flow in so she can fill it with blood, get it engorged more surface area means it’s going to send more signals to the brain.

We’re going to swamp the brain with activated pleasure signals. And then one of these two, these are called a rabbit vibrator. This is the. Lady by and the miss by from fun factory. And the reason that I like them is that there’s some women have a more, a larger cavern and some women have a smaller cavern.

And so for some women, this is feels really, really nice. It goes all the way back up behind the cervix and it covers the cervical dip here. It presses on the urethral sponge, which is what people call the G spot. It has this really nice long pad that activates the outer vestibule, as well as the clitoral shaft and glands, the whole thing.

It’s two different vibrators, so it feels really good, and it fills that vaginal cavity. Opening up the introidal sphincter up, which also has mechanoreceptors, which send up an alternative kind of signal to the brain. So you’re stimulating the external and the internal simultaneously. You’re getting the clitoral tip and glands activating while you’re activating the vaginal cavern.

And this is just a smaller version of it. And so between the two. It’s going to really get all that tissue alive and awake again for her. And then she can use the second piece, which is this lube, which is just a really clean oil. You could drink this. You could make a salad dressing out of this. It’s botanicals and MCT oil, which I always say, if you wouldn’t put it in your vulva, if you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, don’t put it in your vulva.

They’re just, you know, both mucosal linings. You don’t want to put toxins in your body. You want to get toxins out of your body. So you’ve got to use something clean. And then for women who, like herself, where she has not had a lot of intercourse for a very long time, there’s a third piece to this, which I really like, which is the suppositories.

The suppositories are cocoa butter and CBD, and they melt inside the vaginal canal, seep into the walls, and kind of make that much more lubricated. So if she’s nervous Or she’s not quite getting engorged or what have you, it makes it nicer for her and she can use it with the sex toy as well to coat the vagina to to get the feeling of that of that.

And so I told her to start with the activation and then to start to allow her mind to run wild with fantasy and to not filter her thoughts. But to think that. Dirtiest things you could think of that were not only dirty but taboo, like you’d never tell anyone about it and you’d never want anyone to know and you would never want to even do it in real life, but for some reason it really it’s so naughty that it turns you on.

I said you got to get your brain really thinking sexy thoughts and your body and your brain will think about fantasies that you’d never do. But that for some reason turn you on and they were set in your youth. They’re just random, and there’s nothing wrong with thinking them, and that will help you start to achieve orgasms, and when you do that, you’ll get more confidence, and then you’re going to keep activating, and you’re going to pleasure yourself every day with this system, and then see how you do by the time you’re probably ready to get intimate with your new guy, your confidence level, your responsiveness level, your ability for your genital And there you go.

are gonna go through the roof. Oh, and I told her to take a nitric oxide supplement. I said, chances are, you know, you, you, you, I think she’s probably in her 40s. Chances are that you are not making the amount of nitric oxide that you could be. So you want that blood flow in. So use a, use an organic nitric oxide booster, citrulline based.

This is the one that I make. You can use whichever one you want. So flow is what this one’s called. So I think those kinds of things where you just next year, like I didn’t, I didn’t have this until about six months ago to tell her to try. I was just like, use up organic avocado. It always changes. And I think that it’s really great when people kind of sense they have a problem and they, and then you need to help them figure out what it could be.

And I can’t wait to hear from her because I can’t wait to hear either. She’s going to go do it and it’s going to work,

Amy: you know, and, but I’ve seen more of that issue in my clinic and just with people reaching out online. Are the sexual dysfunctions related to antidepressant use? And especially they’re being prescribed in younger and younger people.

And so the question becomes, you know, one, can they reach out to their prescribing provider and ask for alternative medications? But oftentimes those alternative medications are not as good for what they’re trying to treat. So it’s definitely a challenge, but it’s very common to have these, you know, dysfunctions in men and women.

And so I’m definitely excited to hear, but you have so many tools in the toolbox and you know, my verbiage has changed since listening to your content. So one, like, as a woman in men’s health, I know more about men’s health than I do about my own. And I would, you know, talk to my friends and be like, Yeah, it’s really difficult to women to, you know, to orgasm with penovaginal intercourse.

And then after listening to you, I was actually at dinner this past weekend and I was like, It’s all about the nooks and crannies. We gotta get the nooks and crannies. Exactly. So even, you know really anyone, you know, we’re, we’re so specialized in whatever we do. And oftentimes we skip over the basics and, and I love how you simplify that for us, but we have so many tools and I love it.

Susan: I’m glad because the more women you can spread. that knowledge to about the fact that org, you know, orgasms from intercourse, penetration orgasms are just a learned skill. All women can do it. It takes two to tango. You have to know what to do. There’s specific techniques to use. There’s, you know, a lot of little tricks to making it work, but once you get it working, oh my gosh, it’s so nice.

It’s so connected, so beautiful, so pleasurable, so relaxed and so rejuvenating. Once you get over the performance anxiety, you can trust your body is going to respond. You give her the time that she needs to get there. You stop trying to make it, make it like she’s a man in a man’s body. Men are so much faster at their sexual response.

They’re spontaneously turned on. Women are responsibly turned on much more. So, you know, they’re, I mean, there’s everybody’s, everybody’s different and everybody changes, but generally in the big bell curves. You know, men have a lot more testosterone. They’re, they’re masturbating every day to keep their sperm topped off.

It’s biological wiring for them. They’re, you know, they’re, they have nighttime erections that are so hard. They wake them up when they’re healthy. You know, they wake up with an erection. I mean, it’s just really front and center for them, literally and figuratively. Where with women, it is. Estrogen dominance keeps us in a, you know, almost like fear mode because we’re secure.

We’re never safe. We’re always going to have our vigilance up. And so it takes us a long time to let that vigilance down to relax into our body for the arousal to begin because that arousal ladder, we can’t start climbing that until we Relax and let down. And for a lot of our partners, they’re just trying to figure out how to turn us on faster.

And we think we’re broken and we’re not at all. It’s just, that’s just our hormone profile and how it affects our sexuality. And once both partners understand it, they just work together on, you know, waiting.

Amy: So you gave me advice on like, and me and other urologists and health care providers and how to bring up this conversation to our patients.

So how would you advise whether it’s, you know, let’s just say it’s a heterosexual relationship, but one person, the partner, if they’re a man or woman, whatever, to bring up this conversation in a way you talk about like teaching the other person, but kind of not making it so obvious that they’re teaching, how does a partner do that?

What are some of the conversation starters there?

Susan: I think that you are hitting on one of the dirty dozen intimacy issues that people have. And it was funny. I was just sitting right here in the studio yesterday with Amy Baldwin and April Lampert of the shameless sex podcast. They have a new book out called shameless sex.

And we, we did the dirty dozen. Intimacy issues, and one of them was I don’t know how to talk about trying new things with my partner. That was intimacy issue number seven. They’re literally sitting here in front of me on my screen, and most of the issues are either physical health related, whether it’s depression or cancer or, you know, erectile dysfunction or what have you, or it’s I want more than I’m getting and I, but I don’t know how to talk to my partner.

Variations of that. And You really have to deal with the person you’re in the relationship with. Sometimes people use all kinds of tricky ways to get out of having uncomfortable conversations. It could be stonewalling. It could be having a meltdown. It could be, you know, like refusing to have the conversation.

It could be pushing it off. It could be you know, there’s just like a ton of things that people do. And so it’s a landmine in a relationship to do that. And sometimes I say instead of going right at the problem, take a kind of passive aggressive strategy with it. A passive aggressive strategy looks like, and I don’t think passive aggressive is the right word, but more of like a sideways into it instead of a straight on confront, a non confrontational direction.

That’s I think what I want to say here, and that is getting, going into it sideways, which is I was thinking that it might be fun for us to try something new. And I had three ideas I was going to throw out. And you can just think about them. And you could throw some ideas in if you want to, or you could tell me if you like any of my ideas.

I’m open to it. And if they say, I don’t want to hear them. Then you have to say, we need to break up. Would you like me to write them down? Right? I could write them down for you. Because it takes a long time for people who’ve been brought up in, in shame around their sexuality to be verbal about it. But if you just don’t shy away and you just keep moving toward the solution.

Because there’s, I think what people need is the encouragement to move toward the solution. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting more. What you’re asking for is perfectly reasonable. You, you and your partner have, you know, a tacit agreement to support each other in a sexual way, in a pair bonded relationship.

And unless there’s some like really, really big excuse for some reason you can’t compromise or work around or find a solution to, which I’ve never found one. There are always compromises and workarounds and solutions. Then you just need to keep. So I found that if you keep talking about it, keep bringing it up, if you have to write down the three ideas, literally a person might literally just circle one of the ideas and leave it on your bedside table.

And then you know what they were willing to try. So what I found is making offers, small offers, small offers are one of the four keys to seduction. And in a male female partnership, most of the time, the man wants more. And he’s frustrated and, and he’s not getting as much as he wants. And the woman, it’s easier for women to not have sex than it is for men.

Most of the time there are bell curve. There’s outliers in everything I say, I’m just speaking to the bell curve. So it’s most common, more and more common that it’s the male partner. Which is interesting, and I think that that goes to our obesity epidemic and the obesity addiction to ultra processed foods that the big food companies have gotten our, our, our citizens addicted to things that are killing them.

So, and then the obesity academic epidemic begets the testosterone dis destroying of the, the male body, which lowers his sex drive, which his wife is now like, and then he has erectile dysfunction because of the poor nutrition and the lack of exercise. And he, if, if he can’t get it up, he’s not going to initiate sex.

And then she feels like he’s checked out. romantically in the relationship. And, you know, so that happens too, but making offers is seducing your partner toward more pleasure. And the offers need to start small, much smaller than you’d think. So the problem often is that a man will say, do you want to have sex?

And sex means intercourse. And she’s not even turned on. She’s still worried about a million things. So of course she doesn’t want to have sex. So she says, no, then he feels rejected. And he feels like, Oh my God, she never wants to have sex with me. She doesn’t even love me. I’m not even going to like her anymore.

I’m just going to live in the And then they end up just being platonic and grumpy with each other, and they have shorter lives and everything, and they die, and they’re miserable, and it’s shitty. All because one person didn’t want to do a little heavy lifting to help the other person move through their fear from ignorance, from the fact that sex has not been taught and never will be.

We have to learn it ourselves, but to overcome the shame and the repression of our society, somebody has to do the heavy lifting in that relationship. And it’s the person that’s carrying the torch for more. That’s often the man, but not always. And so it’s being willing to stay in discomfort. Being willing to stay in emotion is very, very helpful skill.

Stay in the emotion of conflict, stay in the emotion of pleasure. When a woman is learning how to orgasm, she literally will dissociate when she starts feeling pleasure. Because it’s overwhelming to her and scares her. We’ve been so denied pleasure in our, in our culture. And so being able to stay in whatever is happening to be present is a big part of your sexual maturation and your whole life.

You can mature and learn new skills and become a better lover. It’s a gift that keeps on giving till the day you die. And you can die a lot later when you have really hot sex.

Amy: So what’s one of those examples of a small ask? Is it doing the dishes? Is it rubbing the feet? What are some of those potential questions?

Susan: It’s never doing the dishes because that’s bargaining for sex. You don’t want to bargain for sex. You don’t want to beg for sex. You want to start small. So foot rub was perfect. Would you like a glass of Chardonnay and we’ll sit on the couch and watch your favorite show together? Would you like me to rub your head and neck while you tell me about your day?

Would you like a foot rub out in the sunshine before it starts to get dark and we’ll just hang out and connect? Excuse me, and connect. It’s those kinds of things. Is there anything that you need? Would you like me to draw you a bath? And then next things up from there would be things like would you like a sensual, a no strings attached sensual massage?

Just to see if we can get you in your body and warmed up. And if it doesn’t happen, no worries, I will not be grumpy. Okay. I’m willing to put the time in to find the moments when you want to be intimate with me. What would feel good to you? Where would you like to start? You know, a lot of times it’s, can you rub pain cream on my knees or whatever, you know, the older you get, the more things ache.

The more you want to get hands on and connect. And so the slowing down and just offering pleasure and connection is really whatever you think your partner would like. That’s not an offer for intercourse. We’ll be, we’ll go a long way toward letting her say she wants more. Well, that. That neck rub was so good.

I was wondering if you’d rub my belly. Oh God, that feels so good. Can you rub my breasts? Oh, that feels so good. Can I put my hand on you? You know, like it’s just Allowing her the time that it takes because it takes a woman 20 to 30 minutes to get into full arousal, where it takes men two or three minutes to get into full arousal.

So for most women, they’ve been having rushed intercourse their whole life, which is why they no longer are really interested in it because it hasn’t served them.

Amy: You know, it’s so interesting in the medical field that we’ve medicalized everything and we never really ask patients, do you like it? Does it feel good?

And I think we’re just so behind. And even within the sexual medicine world, we, we just, we don’t even as specialists talk about the elephants in the room. So I think you’re giving us really good words and all those, you know, those small ass that you were just bringing up. I mean, they’re so incredibly sexy.

If someone said, can I give you a back massage? I would be like, okay, what do you want to do after that? Like even before the back massage. Yeah. So how do we, you know, the month of November is big on men’s health and mental health. What are some like how do we get this education to young men even where does how does that even start?

Susan: Well, you know, what’s also interesting is that November is no nut November. Mm hmm. Do you know about that?

Amy: Where people I guess they don’t masturbate during the month.

Susan: They don’t ejaculate Mm hmm. There’s a lot of young men who believe that When they ejaculate, they lose their chi or their energy or their power.

And so there’s the very large cohort of men who seldom ejaculate. And there are of course, men who get depressed when they ejaculate or exhausted, or they cry. But then on the other hand, there are men who are driven to ejaculate every single day and could never, couldn’t even imagine being happy with a no nut November.

Again, that’s that bell curve like everybody. And so I think that different how you find men and how you teach them about their sexuality is a tough one because all of our media is censored and there’s very, very little except clickbait articles, very top level types of things that are even available information.

Most of the advice from most of the major publications is not great and certainly doesn’t talk about Masculine sexual leadership, male multiple orgasm, P spot orgasm, prostate massage and stimulation penis pumps and penis enlargement and vacuum erection devices. It doesn’t talk about the difference between the male and female body and testosterone.

It doesn’t talk about making small offers. I mean, They’re not finding any of this information anywhere, and I can’t see the media changing. I see the media getting more and more conservative than liberal. I mean, there may be a few places here and there, but mostly sexuality content is completely verboten.

You know, I am constantly getting warnings on my social media, and I post such simple stuff, such basic stuff. So. how we find and help a large number of men. Podcasts, vidcasts. I mean, you’re going to put this on YouTube, and because you’re a doctor, you might be able to get away with some of it. Some of it might get flagged.

But podcasts currently are for some reason, a very uncensored medium. And so all of the best conversations about sexuality are happening in the world of podcasting, not necessarily vidcasting, because videos are posted on YouTube and social media, and they are censored, heavily censored because they are advertising supported.

The podcasts, some are advertising supported, but most podcasters aren’t making any money on it. They’re doing it as lead gen for their business. If they’re a coach or, you know, a doctor who wants to learn more and do something good for the world, that’s a, that’s a big category, especially functional doctors, naturopathic doctors.

We commonly find them as, you know, some of the most, you know, most likely people who are talking to people, men and women, people across the gender spectrum. So I think right now, Recording this and pushing it out into podcasts or having guys listening to podcasts is probably the best bet for them to find information that’s going to help them be the men and lovers that they want to be to have the sex life of their dreams.

Amy: You know what I find really annoying and I don’t know that annoying is the most appropriate term but We oftentimes blame men for not seeking help when we haven’t given them the stage to actually ask their questions. And and most health care providers are not taught how to ask the everyday questions.

So you had mentioned, you know, the no, nut November and and we get a lot of questions. I’m sure the both of us on how often should I masturbate? And what do you think about me abstaining? And most health care providers are not taught how to answer those questions. And so we say, Oh, whatever. You’re normal.

You’re within the normal limits like. You know, don’t watch any porn. And we kind of like we either say yes or we say no without much explanation. And then we, you know, blame guys for not seeking help until 20 years later when we demonstrated to them 20 years earlier that we couldn’t answer their basic question.

So why would they come back to seek help? And I’m kind of sick of having those We need to like get better. We need to do better and answer the everyday questions. So I’ll give my answer, but I’m going to ask you first. So if a guy, a young guy, okay, says, well, how often should I masturbate? What would your response be to that as an intimacy expert?

Susan: Yeah. I’d say something like, Three times a week is probably good. You could masturbate every day. Twice a day maybe a lot. You know, you’re spending a lot of time masturbating and there are other things you might want to do with that energy. You don’t, there’s no goal if three times a week seems like a lot, do it two times, but masturbating is good for you and it exercises your penis and it keeps your semen flowing and fresh and it helps in the long term with prostate.

There are studies that show that men who ejaculate more frequently have lower issue, lower issues with prostate cancer and in later life. So. Don’t be afraid to masturbate. If, if you’ve been told that masturbation is wrong, that’s incorrect. That was someone else’s opinion about masturbation.

Masturbation is physically very good for you. What I would warn you about is masturbating to pornography because it’s good for you. Quite addictive for some people and it makes them fast ejaculators. They have stamina issues. They be, they get performance anxiety and they have a hard time over time. Some guys even being with a woman because she’s nothing like a porn star and then they’re isolated and they don’t have good, satisfying relationships and they feel like they spend way too much time consuming pornography and their life slips away.

And that may not be you, but I’ve heard from so many guys that that’s what happened to them. They call, they text me or email me or DM me. They’re addicted to porn. Their wife is sick of them. They don’t know what to do. And Unfortunately, it’s the kind of thing where I say to guys, you literally have to quit cold turkey.

There isn’t even a taper. This is not using a valium taper off benzodiazepines. Like this is friggin, you have to stop you and you, it will make you, it’s going to make you sick. You’re going to go through a withdrawal, but you’re going to come out the other side, a man with his time back in his face. Feed under him and you’ll probably be able to have a relationship that’ll be much more satisfying.

And it’s, and I’m sorry that that media has preyed on you. And you must rectify this. It can really impact your life terribly because then you get an hedonic in everything else. And life becomes flat and gray and boring and you lose your motivation. I mean, it does way more than just ruin your sex life.

It ruins your life. If you have those problems, so use the fantasy that’s in your mind. Pleasure yourself and learn how to learn how to be a great lover. So you don’t always have to masturbate. You can actually have great sex together.

Amy: Well, I think that’s great advice. I you know, I tell people if you’re doing what you need to in a day.

And you’re having the type of sex that you want to have and you’re lasting the amount of time that you want to last and you’re not causing anyone harm, then do whatever works for you, right? We always try to give people I think a lot of people want to know, like, what is the study show? And in reality, it doesn’t matter if a study showed that guy should masturbate five times a week.

But Phil over here says that he feels great when he does it three times a week, then he already answered that question. And I think especially when it comes to sexual health, people can answer those own questions and experiment on themselves.

Susan: Yeah. If they feel empowered to do so and know everything’s going to be okay.

And that’s what they come to me and they come to you for support and encouragement and a safe space, a safe Harbor.

Amy: Absolutely. So you bring up the safe place. So let’s go into fantasies, boundaries, and consent. So whether it’s in a new relationship or a long term relationship, how does this come up in a way that encourages rather than shames or, you know, is a Debbie downer for the conversation?

Susan: Yeah, this is another one of the dirty dozen intimacy issues. It’s so funny. And

there There are fantasies that would be perfectly fine for you to share with your partner and that you might enjoy doing that are things that you kind of want to check off your sex life bucket list experiences that you want to have. And then there were other fantasies similar to what I was talking about earlier with the woman who was on antidepressants where I wanted her to just think about any dirty things she wanted to think about because it was just all for her to turn her on and to, you know, be a little titillating for herself.

So if you have a good sense of what would be too much for your partner and what might be of interest, this is where you get into running them a menu of fun fantasy ideas. And the way I always tell people to do that non confrontational sideways, you know, side shuffle into things is to to say, I would like to give you a sensual massage because I thought up a really fun fantasy story.

And I’m going to tell you the fantasy story while I give you the sensual massage, because I thought that might be really fun. Does that sound good to you? And nine times out of ten, they’ll say yes. Who’s going to turn that down? Like I would like to have that right now. That sounds super fun. Tell me a dirty story while you give me a sensual massage.

Okay. For like three hours. So make it a really long story that never ends. Make it a generational saga.

So that’s a way that you can like. Fill their mind with the fantasy, explain what it means to you and how you could imagine it going down and what kinds of things turn you on about it and the whole scene and the interaction and leading up to it and the afterglow and I mean, there’s so much you could include in it that it moves it from if you said, if you said to your partner, Hey, what do you think about having a, I have a fantasy to have a threesome, right?

Well, that’s just going to get them starting to catastrophize. But what if it was a threesome where they were the center of attention? They didn’t have to do anything. They were totally served and adored by the two other people or whatever, you know, like, Just making it something that they start to begin to understand what that means in your mind, you paint them the picture of it, it takes the fear of the unknown out, and it shows them how sexy it could be, and gives them ideas that it might be a possibility.

And I think that’s just a great way to go about safely sharing fantasy.

Amy: Now, some people just don’t know how to talk in like a, in a sensual fashion. What are some tips for people where it just makes them very uncomfortable to verbalize some of what you’re saying?

Susan: Yeah. So there are people and you know, there’s this phrase it’s men, man, a few, a man, a few words.

That is actually a thing because generally men find it harder to articulate their thoughts into verbal conversation. And they say that there are differences between the male and female or the, you know, XY and XX chromosome brain. And that’s reasonable. So one of the things that I can tell you is that practice makes you better at it.

The more that you try to talk about things, the better you get at talking about things. So sometimes you just have to do it and be willing for it to not be perfect. The second thing that you can do is practice other ways of being sensually verbal. And these are really easy ones. These come from my book called Dirty Talk.

And I don’t even like the word dirty talk because I don’t think sex is dirty. Except if you’re like playing in a mud bath. And yeah, that’s what people call it and know it by. So I call it the Dirty Talk, it’s at dirtytalkbook. com. And it’s five ways to talk dirty without feeling weird. And sometimes before you can start telling a long, sexy fantasy to someone, you need to start with some of the easier things and build your skills.

There’s a bonus one, and I’ll start with that, which is moaning. Most people in their sexuality, they have such quiet sex. They don’t make any noise. When you start moaning, when you start giving words of appreciation, when you start saying that feels really good, Oh, keep doing that. Can you go to the left?

Can you go lighter? Can you go harder? Don’t stop till I say so. Keep going. Whatever it is. That kind of directional conversation is really the 1. 0 training wheels of sensual communication. The second is adoration and appreciation. You’re so beautiful to me. I love the way your butt looks when I’m behind you, doggy style.

It’s just really sexy. And how muscly your back is, is really a turn on for me. And I love looking at your face in the mirror and your butt and your back from behind. It just gets me. It just sends me every time. The next level up is even more Like specific kinds of things such as I see your vulva getting plumper.

I see it getting rosy and pink. I see the blood flow coming into it. I see it filling and your labia are getting pillowy. I feel your clitoris beginning to harden a little bit. I’m touching it and strumming across it like a violin string. I’m trying to play you like an instrument. instrument. When you start doing things like that, what that’s actually called is agnosing.

And it’s a noticing. It’s a, it’s a describing. It’s, I call it, say what you see. And this is really good for men of no words. They’re like, all I have to do is say what I see.

Amy: It’s like if you see something, say something, right? That’s like, they say that in the airport, but I guess it also pertains to sex.

Susan: Exactly. Yeah. So I think that’s another good one. Another one is the sharing fantasies to, you know, telling fantasy stories and another one is called sharing frames. You can, you can download this at dirtytalkbook. com. It’s all laid out and I give verbatims because I think it’s better if I tell you exactly what to say and then you modify it to your personality and your relationship.

So I give you exact things to say, you can just start with those and you will be a hero if you just start with those. So sharing frames is one of the last ones and that is you know, when we were making love last night, And you just growled a little bit and you just kind of like pressed me down on the bed a little bit and you just went like that.

Oh my God. I got so turned on right then because I could just. I could really feel your desire for me. I could just tell you were like so turned on. You were almost animalistic and it was really hot for me. And I remember I came right after that because it was so good. That’s a, that’s a frame. I’m telling you a moment.

of our last lovemaking date that was really, really hot for me. And you’re like, no way. That was what you thought was hot? Well, let me tell you what I thought was hot. Right? And so now you’re talking, right? This is a slippery slope to lots and lots of fun.

Amy: So do you recommend a debrief?

Susan: Yeah, that’s called sharing frames.

Amy: Like right after. Okay. So like right after or it could be any time.

Susan: But it’s not a debrief. It’s a sharing a frame is like taking a snapshot of a moment in time and describing a body based experience, a sensual physical kinesthetic experience. So what I talked about was the sound he made, how I came right after that, how I.

Felt his desire. Those were, those were felt and hearing and feeling and coming. And it wasn’t intellectual up here processing the stuff. It was right down here where it’s happening in the body, describing my body experiences. We learn better when we stay in the corporeal. If you notice, pretty much all that dirty talk I did was very corporeal and that keeps you out of your head and in your body, which is where you are present to connection, the limbic connection, the heart connection, that place of lovers is in the corporeal.

Amy: So when you talk about arousal, and we’ve spoken about kind of the technique aspect and the communication aspect, and I want to touch a little bit on that third pillar, right, that health aspect. How do you encourage, you know, you mentioned that people, and not just specific to men, but heart disease and diabetes and obesity rates, those are only going up.

They’re not getting, you know, any more rare. And so what is your because those are really the foundation, right? Exercise and nutrition are really the foundation of not only overall health, but sexual health as well. How do you empower people to live healthier lives when they want to talk to you about sex?

How do you make that connection?

Susan: It’s really, really tough, Amy, because most people are addicted to ultra processed food. I mean, I don’t know how to break that addiction. The big food companies have put altered chemicals, olfactory, flavorings, sens sensations that are addictive in food. It’s the rare person who can break free from those addictions, so

it’s. It’s got me very, very worried right now about our country and about our people. We have people who live in food deserts and food swamps, who are terribly addicted to white flour and white sugar. I mean, I was traveling, as you know, U. S. said, how was your 40 days in Europe? And so I was on the road for 40 days.

And when I would go into airports, there was literally nothing I could eat because I can’t eat gluten and everything has wheat in it. And I, and I, I could, I could, the other thing that’s available is just pure sugar, just sugar. So it’s super tough for people. to do that. I mean, I’m willing to just be like, Oh, I guess I’m intermittent fasting.

You know, if I didn’t bring my nuts or something for 40 days, I did fine in restaurants. I spent a lot of time in, not in hotels, but in like, you know, my own little Airbnb and I would make a lot of food for myself. But I can afford to have a trainer. I can afford to buy organic food. I have a mountain bike.

I mean, my socioeconomic bracket is such that I’m allowed to live longer. My white privilege. You know, all of these things. My parents were teachers. They instilled in me the importance of education. I was very lucky, put myself through college through night school. I didn’t have anything when I started, but I had my white privilege and I had a belief in myself.

instilled by my feminist mother who told me you are smart and you are capable. Don’t ever, ever let anyone tell you what to do. You know, you’re a good decision maker and you know what to do. Like I had so many, I’m tall. I had so many advantages that most people don’t have that all I can do is just meet the people where they are who find me and want more.

And I, because I’m a sexual biohacker, I tend to hang out in communities like bodybuilders, biohackers, fitness enthusiasts, anti aging and longevity people. These are the people who are opting out of the food system, taking their life into their own hands. They’re opting out of the medical system. They’re opting out of the food system.

They’re opting out of, you know, all the pharmacological system. They’re going the other way. And those are the people that have enough health and enough energy to pursue a vibrant sexuality. And they know. That when they have great sex, it fuels not just the passion of their sex life, but the passion of their life, your vitality and your sexual vitality are two sides of the same coin.

Your libido, your desire for sex is the other side of the same coin as your overall health. And so you have this desire to reach so many and help so many. I, after decades of doing this and being under constant censorship and having difficulty scaling to reach people. Go to the little places where the healthy people are.

I speak at medical conferences, biohacking conferences. I speak at like paleo conferences and keto conferences and you know the places where people are at least trying to manage their nutrition and their food. and their lifestyle and their sleep and they’re beginning to understand that they own that themselves.

Then they feel good and they’re like, what else is there? Oh, I like all this personal growth. I like this professional accomplishment and I like my sex life. I’m going to learn about that too. They tend to be people who have the mindset of a lifelong learner who says, if I don’t understand it, I’ll learn it and figure it out.

So those tend to be more Empowered privileged people, which means that we’re leaving behind our underprivileged, our people of color, our impoverished people, which tend to be all the same. And what I ultimately say is that we need to fight to lift up our all Americans and people around the world, because I do believe that actually America is still a leader.

A leader of democracy, one vote per person makes all the difference in the world when they are fair and counted. And so, we got to keep ourselves good and help who we can help in this moment. Life is short on this planet. We’ve been, the planet’s been here 600 billion years. We are just a gnat snot. On this planet in this moment.

So we have to help as many people as we can. We have to help the people who want to be helped. We have to have great sex. We have to have lots of love and we have to take care of ourselves. That’s all there is.

Amy: Yeah. You know, I think with the nutrition aspects, because my business partner, who’s also my twin sister is gastroenterologist, I’ve learned so much from her, right?

Like. How do you get someone to or how do you encourage them to eat healthier? And sometimes we’ll say during our our seminars, if you take one thing from the next 60 minutes, it’s change the yogurt you’re eating. It’s learning how to look at the nutrition label. of a yogurt that has 16 grams of added sugar compared to one that has four.

And maybe that’s the only change that someone makes in a day that then is like, if you take apart a watch and you have all those different reels, you just need to move that one real first. And maybe that’s the yogurt, right? That then moves the next wrong. But it’s I think with everything that we’re discussing with nutrition and exercises, the foundation, It’s these small choices.

You made a comment small hinges move big doors.

Susan: Yeah, little hinges swing big doors.

Amy: I’ve probably said that. Yeah, like I think I’ve said that 20 times since I heard you verbalize that.

Susan: It’s a good one. I stole it from Perry Belcher. Two decades ago. I love it. Yeah, it’s a good one.

Amy: And people, people love it.

They get it. Because it’s less overwhelming.

Susan: Yeah. Yeah, there’s lots of little hinges that swing big doors. That’s what I like to do is I like to give one person one little win and then they keep winning. Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, I wanted to tell you, I make my own yogurt. I make my yogurt out of a bacteria called lacto billis rooti, because I make a morning smoothie.

That’s what I have for breakfast. I have a protein smoothie, and the protein powder that I use is a whey. I’m a Northern European girl, so I can have whey lactose doesn’t bother me. And the way that I use is from timeline nutrition. It’s called Mito Pure. It’s Olein A, which is a, it’s a, a bacteria that helps you generate.

more autophagy in your muscle. So it’s my topophagy and I make this yogurt out of Lactobacillus ruteri, there’s a product from a company called Oxysutex that has a supplement version of it. Well, I just opened the supplements and I put in my my milk and my inulin powder, which is an artichoke powder that is the sugar that the bacteria eat.

And I make my own yogurt. It has no sugar in it. It’s super high in lactobacillus ruteri and lactobacillus ruteri does two beautiful things, three beautiful things. The first is that it helps your body generate oxytocin. Oxytocin is actually generated, it’s a hormone that’s generated in your gut. From gut bacteria and we need lactobacillus ruteri and hardly anybody has any left.

So we’re not developing the oxytocin So when we hold and and we’re hugged we’re not getting the benefits of it that we that we used to and it When we have high oxytocin levels, not only do we bond closer to people who were close to but we actually Get less annoyed with people in general, which we need more of now, too So, Lactobulus ruteri is the thing that generates the oxytocin and the urolithin A is the thing that helps break down the cells in the muscle tissue that are damaged so you can get rid of them.

So your body can build new, fresh cells that have new, powerful mitochondria that deliver much more ATP, which is the Fuel that your body needs for energy. So you build more muscle and you work out more strongly and you have more stamina for your overall life. I have a lot of other things I put in my smoothie, but I wanted to tell you about those two specifically because they’re quite interesting components.

There are a lot of components we’ve, identified now that add to our longevity, but also add to our sexual vitality. And I think that’s something that people can also do as they’re beginning to bend their nutrition back to whole health.

Amy: Susan, can you walk us through a typical day? What time do you get up in the morning and all the way until when you go to sleep?

Let’s say a typical Monday.

Susan: Yeah. I mean, Well, I do a lot of appearances, so I speak from the stage and I also do a lot of video appearances. I write our, our newsletters, so often I’m either writing things or I’m so I’m collaborating or I’m writing things or producing videos for my, my fans and followers, finishing a book I’m writing, things like that.

But every day I work out. So I’ll get up fairly early and post a couple of things on social media. Cause I really enjoy social media. I like the connection of it. I’m on threads and Instagram. Most is, are my most common ones and they’re both at my name, Susan Bratton. You’re welcome to friend me. The.

I have a cup of coffee and then I get up and I either go work out or, or I have my smoothie and then I go work out. I work out with a trainer every day because I found that my energy and stamina, I’m running, I’m the CEO of two companies. So it’s really, really important for me to start first with my health.

Because I can’t pull the sled that I have to pull of all the people who I support, who I have to pay their paychecks and all that kind of stuff, if I’m not solid. So I work out with a trainer every, every day. And then three times a week I do VASPR cryo and red light therapy. The VASPR is a an elliptical bike that uses blood flow restriction and cooling foot pads and back pads that cools you down when you’re doing a high intensity interval sprint training and helps you go even harder and exert more.

Okay. And then it drives a basically a hormonal cascade of more growth hormone, more testosterone, lowers nighttime cortisol. So you sleep and recover better and you build more muscle faster and you build tremendous vascularization. So you’re getting this. Like a web, you’ll see a web after you do it for about three months, you’ll see this web of blood vessels and veins, blue veins, just covering your, your belly or your breasts, your arms, your neck, everything you, you start popping veins, looking good and VASPR stands for vascular performance.

When I do the VASPR, it’s only a 20 minute, 20 minute hit high intensity interval training. I do that often after I’ve done bodybuilding and cardio. And then I go into three times a week. I go into a cryotherapy refrigerator at negative 124 for five, for five minutes. And I chill my body down from like 70 degrees, 75 or 80 degrees down.

Cause I’ve already been laying on a cooling bed after the bathroom down to about 40, 38 to 42 degrees. I cool my body down. It sucks all my tissue. It gives me a little shock to my system and it Brings deep blood flow into your body. So then when I’m done with that, I go, Oh, and I think about what I’m going to stop at the stores.

I ride my bike to my workout and home. So I think about what I’m gonna get at the store that day because I go to the store pretty much every day and just see what I feel like cooking because I cook at home and then we eat leftovers for lunch. So we have a smoothie for breakfast leftovers for lunch and I cook a fresh dinner.

And I do red light therapy on a Novo Thor bed and it’s like a clamshell, kind of like the old tanning beds and you lay in it and you pull it closed and you’re doing red light therapy photo bio modulation and you do that right after the cold and it works extra good. It’s like your body starving for the sunlight after cold winter.

And so it penetrates and generates more mitochondrial energy, more ATP, more cellular turnover. So I like that, that combination of things. I’ll come back. I’ll work in the afternoon. And then sometimes I try to have a lovemaking date with my husband before dinner because then we can just have dinner and then we can just like lie in bed and watch some TV and hang out and, you know, chill.

I can scroll my threads and we can do the things we’d like to do. I don’t know how anyone has sex after dinner. I would be too tired. We usually try to do it before dinner and we’ll usually have a Yoni massage and then do whatever we feel like doing from there. But we pretty much always start with just kind of connecting and having a Yoni massage and letting me relax and get into my body.

And he’s very good about that. And we’ve been having that expanded orgasm practice for a couple of decades. And so nine times out of 10, I want to do more. But the one out of 10 that I don’t, he’s like, no problem, babe. Yeah. You need a foot rub too? You know, like he’s just super cool about it, which is nice.

He’s very patient with me. So I appreciate that. So that’s kind of a typical day.

Amy: So I want to go back real quick to red light therapy because I’ve had people ask me about red light and actually, so two in particular scenarios I want to bring up. One person asked about red light th nipple sensation. And the asked about red light the penile sensation.

And this

And so he looked into, you know, everything related to the technology and started using it and said it actually helped with penile sensation and actually scrotal skin sensation as well. So when he’s up, you know, in the morning working at his computer, he just puts the red light on his genitals and he’s noticed improvement.

Have you seen that for yourself? And have you had others report that as well?

Susan: Yeah, 100%. Okay, so Red Light Therapy. This is a product called the Vagina Device. It’s at Vaginadevice. com. and it uses intravaginal inside your vagina. Photobiomodulation for improving lubrication. There’s warmth here that helps with ation and for blood flow.

It’s really good for blood flow and engorgement. It’s really good as like a pre intercourse warmup for engorgement. It makes your intercourse and penetration feel better. It also helps with incontinence, so it’s really nice inside the vagina. And then this is the male version for photobiomodulation. Can you see the red light there?

So this can wrap around the penis and scrotum and you can directly apply it on the skin. Or when you can do it, use it when you’re using a vacuum erection device, a penis pump. And these are some examples of the sizes of the cylinders. And so You want to get the perfect fit for your penis when you’re pumping.

You have to be very careful that you’re not using a pump that’s too big or too small because it’s going to negate the, you know, it’s going to negate the benefits. But a vacuum erection device is, this is, this is a clitoral pump. This is for engorging the clitoris. It really helps with sensation loss to bring blood flow into the clitoris.

There’s also a vulva pump. That’s what this is, and this brings blood flow into the vulva. And then these are the penile pumps, and I have a guide. It’s called Pumping Guide. It’s a pumpingguide. com that shows you how to measure your penis for a pump, what penis I recommend, why I recommend it. It’s a two, it’s a two pump system.

The first pump, the bigger, the bigger size cylinders, your scrotum goes in it. And your penis goes in it and your scrotum never gets bigger, but it gets more blood flow, which is helpful for the testicles. And it pulls on the suspensory ligament and elongates the penis. It elongates it. It gives you like, the regular pumps give you the girth and the girth goes from the base and works its way up to the end.

So over time, your penis gets thicker with regular pumping. And while you’re pumping, you can just slide the red light. I should have done it the other direction. Hang on. You just slide it onto the pump and there’s your red light right through the cylinder. So photobiomodulation is excellent for the vagina and the penis and the, and the testicles.

And I think ultimately that we’ll also have some kind of intra rectal. Photobiostimulation for the prostate. I mean, I can’t believe we don’t already have it. A man could, you know, a male bodied person could definitely use the vagina device if he wanted to. It hasn’t been designed for that, but I think it would work perfectly.

So, yeah.

Amy: So really all the tools that you recommend, because they’re very similar tools that I talk to patients about they’re safe. Yeah. And because that’s a big thing, right? It’s one thing if something is very effective, right? But like if we can hurt someone with a device and it always makes me More hesitant to offer something.

But with so many of these therapies, people have been using them there. They don’t require prescription. You get them online, you know, and it’s it’s really hard to hurt anyone. And so I think we just have to make it part of our normal conversation. You know, I have some guys that I see that are like, Well, that’s a little overwhelming.

Let’s just start with one thing, you know, and then other guys that say, well, I want to learn every single option. And sometimes they’ll get everything all at once. And other times they’ll say, I’ll try this first and then that. But the thing that I think both of us are trying to prevent from happening is for someone to say 10 years down the line, I wish someone had told me why did nobody tell me this information about the importance of penile rehabilitation?

Ten years ago, people get upset. It’s not even that they’re that they’re unhappy like they get very frustrated when there’s a very obvious solution to their problem that nobody Spoke up about.

Susan: Agreed. That’s why I’m the queen of penis pumps because very few men even ever go to a urologist and Urologists are literally the only people talking about vacuum erection devices and Frankly a lot of urologists give out really crappy Chinese novelty items.

They’re not even really giving out. So, and I mean, this two pump system, this whopper system where you get these two different size pumps for length and girth plus the metal ham thing is like less than 200 for a guy to be able to pump. And, and the other thing is that a lot of guys in relationship, They say, Oh, my wife would not like it if I did that.

And I’m like, you need to explain to her that this is self care down there. This is reversing atrophy. This is keeping you having a nice, firm erection. You need nocturnal erections because men who don’t have them. They are the ones who end up having cardiac arrest. You know, you have to keep the blood flowing into your penis because over time it will atrophy.

You’re not a, I mean, if you look at a guy, and you do all the time, you look at their penis. You see one guy walk in and they’re not getting erections in front of you. You know, you’re seeing flaccid penises. What I’m seeing is because, because I’m a sexpert and I’m a pumping expert, they’ll ask me, may I send you photos of my penis?

Can you tell me what you think? And with penis pumping We have a couple, we have a head enlarger, we’ve got a couple of different things we can do and a couple of different routines based on what their needs are. And so I’m always seeing their fully erect penises and I see guys who have big, solid, veiny, taut, nice, thick penises.

And then I see guys that have emaciated, atrophied, noodley, no veins, no, you know, no innervation, not, you know, not firm, just like barely hard. And that guy, he has forgotten. He probably used to look like the first guy because it has waned over decades and it’s good enough for penetration. Or maybe he came to you for Viagra.

So that he could stay firm enough for penetration, but he’s not, he’s on a collision course for complete ed because he’s not doing anything but asking for a Viagra or any kind of PDE5 inhibitor. And he’s not, he’s not saying, okay, what can I do to remediate this? How can I get back to that taut bulbous, veiny, thick penis that stays as hard as I want for as long as I want.

And that’s where. I move into regenerative therapy. So I look at it as there’s Regenerative therapies that reverse the ravages of aging. And then there’s male enhancement that says, okay, you have been given this, but you want your five inches. You want to be six, your six inches. You want to be seven, your seven inches.

You want to be eight. There’s no man in the world who ever wants a smaller penis. All guys want it bigger. It’s like all women are like, you could never be too rich or too thin. All men are like you could never have a bigger penis. And so. So you take a guy who is, I recently have been helping this guy, he had diabetes and was type 2, was diet related, and he came to me and he said, my penis is really not staying hard.

Do you think a pump would help? And I said, yes, but then I learned he had diabetes and then I learned about his nutrition and then he wasn’t working out. And over the last six months, he has started eating whole foods. He’s gotten off all processed foods. He started working out three times a week. He’s been pumping every other day, about a week into it.

He’s like, Oh my God, you didn’t tell me this feels great. And I was like, Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that pumping feels incredible too. And you will love it. And now it’s so funny. I recently said to him. You know, I don’t need a picture every time you pump. Because he’s literally like, so he’s like, look at the veins today.

Look how they’re just like all across the time. Now he’s got these little blue veins on the top of his penis. It’s beautiful. Visibly thicker, it’s just so much more plump and springy, like he has changed his life. He’s so excited. He wants to send me pictures every day, not every day, because you pump every other day.

You need a recovery day. And it’s just so funny. I was like, oh, he’s like, oh, oh, okay. Sorry. I just got, I just got carried away. And so it’s so nice to see guys return to their function. And then. For a lot of guys, the pumping isn’t enough. They’re too far gone. They need to go get the gains wave, acoustic wave, shockwave therapy.

And then there’s also PRP or exosomes or stem cells, which I love. That’s like a turbo charger for healing all that tissue and building new tissue. There’s also traction device for men that really want a lot of length, more than the pump itself can give them. So when you’ve got the red light and you’ve got the nitric oxide supplementation and you’re eating your leafy greens and you’re going to the gym and you’re pumping your penis and you’re getting your gains waves and you’re, you know, you’re you’re getting PR A PRP shot with it and you’re focused on all that stuff, man, it is unbelievable what you can create.

The penis is a sculpt. malleable part of our body. I mean, here’s another thing. Women have to get boob jobs, which I really feel sad about because they’re just breast explants are very, you know, big now because implants have been so hard for so many women with autoimmune response. You can’t really do much with your boobs.

Like there’s no boob pump, but penis pumps make your penis bigger. And when you do it for like 10 or 12 months, religiously, consistently, a couple of times a week, you’re going to enlarge your penis 20 to 25 percent. And it’s just incredible how much more confident a man feels when his penis is working beautifully and bigger than it’s ever been in his life.

I mean, like there’s nothing better for a dude.

Amy: No, you’re so right. And, but it’s interesting because whenever I take out like a demo, you know, vacuum erection device in clinic, I’m like, Oh, have you ever seen one of these? And they’re oftentimes like, Oh, I didn’t know that like anyone would actually recommend those or, Oh, like from Austin powers or no, I’ve never seen something like that.

But everyone warms up to it because it’s just talking about those simple analogies. Like you talk about a pool noodle when it comes to the spongy tissue in women and in men. I literally have a sponge in my clinic and I pull out the sponge and I’m like, this is literally your penis. So if you like put it under the faucet, wring it out and I don’t do dishes for a year, it’s old and crusty.

So using a vacuum pump is just putting the sponge under the faucet every day. And it’s such an easy analogy. It’s like all the conversation starters you mentioned. And so it’s figuring out. all those good analogies. So maybe we’ll wrap up, but I want you to, what are those key analogies that really illustrate anatomy and sexual concepts?

Susan: Yeah. I would say

Amy: and the banana one. Oh, just kidding.

Susan: No, the banana one. The foundation is understanding that if this is your penis and half of it sticks out, there’s about half of it that goes in and down towards your testicles and all of it’s filled with spongy tissue. But if I could open up your penis and take that sponge out and turn it into a donut with the point on the top, that’s inside your wife’s vulva.

She’s got an entire erect penis inside her vulva that is in all these nooks and crannies and it needs to be engorged or filled with blood, which goes back to Here it is, nitric oxide, getting on nitric oxide supplementation and really upping your level of eating greens and beetroot as well, because that’s how your body turns, it turns nitric oxide and turns nitrates into nitrites, which turn into nitric oxide, which is what your body uses to squeeze the blood into your genitals.

It’s basically what Viagra, Libetra and Cialis work on, that same, that same pathway. So I’d say that’s number one. Number two would be yoni massage. Giving your wife or girlfriend offers for as many yoni massages as she wants. And did I tell you about this?

Amy: You mentioned the arousal gel, that you put it like a thin layer, yeah.

Susan: So I think putting those on, getting this pleasure protocol, it’s a pleasure protocol. com, getting this kind of a thing going where she’s saying, yes, I’d like to lay with you and receive pleasure from you and open myself to the possibility of more without the pressure of more. That I think is very important.

Remembering that your arousal is very, very fast and hers is slow. Knowing that There are a lot of skills to learn. And that you can decide in what order you want to learn them that generally communication skills are the foundation and then understanding body anatomy and feeling good about yourself and helping your partner feel good about how beautiful they are to you is very important.

How self care down there begins around 40 and continues for the rest of your life. And that having a good sex life and good intimacy is very important for your longevity. So keeping your attention on it and being willing to be in uncomfortable conversations to work through it, because it’s fear that makes people shut down.

I think that’s a really important one. Anything that’s not working can be fixed. There’s incredible things we can all do to fix those things. Not being afraid of using sex toys during intimacy I think is a very important one. Adding things like, this is a penis ring with a vibrator on the top.

And what this does is it vibrates on her clitoral structure. And it helps trap the blood in your penis for a firmer erection. And so this is nice. Or having her have a small vibrator between you during intercourse so that she can pleasure the clitoral shaft and tip while you’re penetrating her can be a really nice thing.

And so this notion of orgasmic cross training that I talked about activating all the areas and creating the mind body connection If you go to orgasmic active, orgasmic cross training dot com, orgasmic cross training dot com, I have the eight kinds of tools that activate the vulva and the four kinds of tools that activate the prostate, penis, testicle, testicle.

axis and when you add one and then try the next and try the next and keep applying them and finding fun ways to use them and you’re open to experimenting and, and being in the state of discomfort around learning new things and open to the pleasure you just start to have a lot more pleasure in your life, which spills over into all the rest.

So I think those are you. You know, some pretty good ones to start with.

Amy: Well, I think your message and we didn’t touch on it too much with this segment, but it’s, you know, you’re in your mission is to make like heterosexual monotony, you know, to fix that, the monotony of a heterosexual monogamous relationship and for people to really understand that as they get older, could it be that their best sex is yet to come?

Susan: You know, the answer is yes.

Amy: I, and I know the answer is yes. And, and to be honest, like for my like personal, sexual growth. I want it all. And I think listening to a lot of your messages, I don’t feel bad about saying, I want it all. And I believe I can have it all, you know, you’re going to have it all.

Yeah. And I think it’s very empowering. It is. And I think I was telling you that I was walking outside, listening to some of your messages in the summer of Miami, a record hot summer. Getting goosebumps because it’s about the basic terminology that we use that every single person needs to hear and that’s coming from, you know, One of many urologists who specialize in sexual medicine, but your conversation is oftentimes not part of our conversation and it has to be.

It has to be.

Susan: Thank you. I have a question for you. So I have a friend who he had prostate cancer. It was stage four and they had to use a lot of radiation. The use of the rods, the rod kind of radiation. And so basically they told him he probably only has three years to live, but he feels like he’s going to beat the cancer.

And that it is currently in remission, but could come back. He’s lost functionality of his erectile system. And his doctor said that he’d like to put in a penile implant. And I talked to my friend and I said, I think a penile implant is a fantastic idea. I think you’ll be really happy with it. There’s some incredible products now in the market.

The latest products on the market are super nice and work really well, but I wouldn’t do it next month when you’ve just gone through all this cancer radiation. I’d take a year cause I don’t think you’re going to die in three years either. I think he’s warning you that if you don’t change your lifestyle, That you that this could come back, but I don’t know that it’s a death sentence and I’d be fighting against it like you are and I would take a year to recover from all that radiation and I would start using a penis pump.

Every other day to bring blood flow back. I would start using the Plex. Okay, so I’ve got a bunch of prostate massagers here. This one I really like because it’s remote control and it has a cord. Half the time when they’re remote controls and they don’t have a cord you lose them and you’re like, where did it go?

So this is one that I actually really like a lot and it’s a very soft prostate tool and I like this one. This one is also nice. It’s a massager and it has a little nice hook to it. It’s very easy to locate the prostate. These are non vibrational prostate tools that you can kind of move with your hand.

But I told him I would get the Plex. And the Plex, it’s on that orgasmic cross training page, the Plex. The Plex is a really nice flared base prostate massager with many different vibrational patterns with a remote control. So you can slowly do it. And I said what I would do is I would do penis pumping every other day.

I would go get a series of Gaines Wave treatments just to put the healing shock waves back into the whole penile, prostate, perineal, barriage shaft, everything. Just get it all stimulated for new tissue growth. Get either PRP exosomes or stem cells. And if it were me, I would have both, I would harvest my own stem cells and I would culture them and I would have them injected into my penis.

And I would have them given to me IV systemically to deal with all the mopping up of cleanup of all this radiation. And I would do that for a year before I got the pump, the implant, because you’re going to need to, you want to stretch that stuff out as much as you possibly can. And after you put in the implant, you’re not going to be able to pump.

They say don’t pump with an implant and I don’t know. I’m not going to tell people to go against the, you know, wisdom. And so you want to get your penis as rebounding as much as possible before you have a surgery. In your penis after radiation and see how much of that tissue you can get move and take a nitric oxide supplement.

So you’re getting your blood flow. And of course, now he’s working out and he’s eating well, and he believes that the reason he got the cancer was his anger at his wife, never wanting to have sex with him. And he said, I think I was just I tried everything I could to get her to want me. And it, it. made me wither and die inside and I said that is likely dude and I am really sorry and I want you to get that implant so you can go out and have some great sex but I wouldn’t do it right away first I’d remediate all that tissue with all those modalities before I thought about doing some surgery because it’s really easy for the doctor to be like yeah we’re just gonna radiate the shit out of you and then we’re gonna stick an implant in a surgery and it’s like phew that’s a lot to recover from

Amy: Yeah, you know, there are so many things I want to unpack a little bit about what you said there because, you know, the post prostate treatment regimen is so critical.

And I talk a lot about, like, prehabilitation, what you should do before treatment, but during treatment and after treatment. And a lot of our focus these days is really on what happens afterwards. But we’ve also missed out on this opportunity for education. and rehabilitation even before any of that treatment process starts.

But I agree with you in terms of rehabbing that tissue. So I’ve seen people come in at all stages, whether it’s, you know, two months after they’ve had their prostate cancer treatment or five years later. And I put their penis on stretch. So I demonstrate what their stretched penile length is. And that’s what they can estimate they will get once they have an implant in.

And so many of these guys after prostate cancer treatment. are not enthusiastic, shall we say, about what that stretched penile length is. And so I always encourage those guys, unless they’re happy with how things are, which is the rare case that the time to rehab the penis is before we put an implant in.

Now, I’ve actually had a patient who had an implant in and asked me, can I use a vacuum pump once my implant is in? has been in place. And my initial, you know, verbiage was, Oh my God, don’t, you’re going to mess up the implant. But he actually gave me a research abstract of something that had been published where they actually had guys who had implants in who used a vacuum pump afterwards.

And actually it was fine to do.

Susan: Okay, good. Can you send me that?

Amy: I can, I can. Absolutely. So, and then I brought it up with some of my colleagues and I said, Are you guys saying that? I’ve never seen this presented before. Like, what? What are you guys telling patients? And I had a few of my colleagues say, Oh yeah, you know, I saw that and it’s not a problem.

So I’m not saying that most of the patients I’ve put an implant in use a vacuum pump. But for guys, if they have concerns about their size, I actually do instruct them on using a vacuum erection device. But I still emphasize that the time to really do like this, you know, intensive rehab protocol is before we do surgery.

And I recommend same thing, traction device and vacuum erection devices. And and there are so many different rehabilitation tools and it’s just easier with less risk before the device is in. Now it can

Susan: I love prehab. Prehab, exactly. Prehab, prehabilitation is brilliant. I’m stealing that.

Amy: Perfect! Because, you know, at the time of diagnosis or even before, we know that most men will develop prostate cancer because that is the course of what happens as guys get older. Although, the majority of men will not die. Of prostate cancer. So really part of that prehab is understanding the impact of nutrition on prostate health, whether it’s for non-cancerous reasons or cancerous reasons.

So I’m glad that you spoke to that person about the importance of nutrition, because we know that pro-inflammatory foods and processed foods. are bad for prostate health and eating better nutrition will reduce the risk of cancer recurrence. So why are we not having that nutrition discussion with every single man, especially the when they are diagnosed with prostate cancer.

We must have that discussion and it can take so long for nerves to recover. And even guys, if they have surgery and their surgeon is very delicate and really teases those nerves off of the prostate tissue, Guys will have at least temporary nerve stretching and nerve injury. And so I’m, you know, really from one month after surgery, I don’t even wait longer than that.

If the guy’s in my office one month after surgery, I’m starting him on this rehabilitation protocol, because the longer he goes without doing it and getting that stretch. He’s going to notice changes in his penis. So there’s not necessarily a timeframe where I say, okay, it’s been a year or two years or five years.

Let’s consider an implant. Some guys are like, look, I want an erection and I wanted it five months ago. And other guys say, I hear what you’re saying with the rehab. I am concerned with the length and girth that I’ve lost. Let me do that for three months. Let’s see where I get. And then let’s consider surgery.

But I do the three months. I mean, guys will start to notice benefit even before three months. So I think that three months is a good sort of telltale of are we making progress? Are you happy? Let’s look at your stretched penile length and then decide if we’re going to proceed with surgery.

Susan: So what is your, what’s in your prehab stack?

We talked about the nitric oxide. We’ve talked about nutrition. We’ve talked about the penile extender. I’ve got one of those right here. Here’s a penile extender. These are great for extra length. And you measure across the top from the abdomen out to the tip, pulled back.

Amy: I do. So I show them, I demonstrate to them their stretched penile length.

If they have excess tissue in their lower pelvic area, I push that down. And that can also help as if they’re overweight to, you know, encourage them to work on their weight loss efforts, showing them, you were literally burying one inch of your penis here because of the excess tissue. But really, you know, the prehab is a different term.

But the recommendation, Susan, they’re all the same. So any of these therapies that I would recommend at the time of diagnosis are the same therapies I would recommend a month later and five years later. Traction, vacuum pumps, you know, I talk about the nitric oxide boosters. I talk about PDE5 inhibitors.

I talk about all those therapies because it’s, it’s telling guys or counseling them. You don’t have to have a dysfunction to warrant getting better results using these therapies. We’re so used to talking about vacuum pumps in the setting of, let’s say, atrophy or erectile dysfunction. But if a guy says, I just want to use a vacuum pump.

Male enhancement. Fine. Yeah. Why not? Same thing with traction therapy and same thing with, you know, medications like Cialis or nitric oxide booster. We have to get out of that framework of dysfunction. and say, if you just want to have better sex, if you want to improve the health of your tissue outside of even having sex, this is what I recommend.

So interestingly, it’s a different term for prehab, but it’s all the same recommendations.

Susan: What about prostate massage? Are you, is that in your stack?

Amy: So I encourage people to explore their bodies. And and so and actually a way that I introduced some of the prostate massage because it does make a lot of the patients who show up into my clinic a little bit nervous is like I educate them on the pelvic floor.

And I educate them on pelvic wands and I might send them to a website to learn more. Oftentimes I send them to a pelvic physical therapist to really understand the nuances of their pelvic floor. And even when I was in Iowa in the Midwest, right? These Iowa farmers, if I were to say, Hey, why don’t you check out this prostate massager would make a lot of them nervous.

But a lot of them came in with some sort of pelvic dysfunction. I sent them to see a pelvic physical therapist, the pelvic physical therapist and I actually spoke to them about the importance of pelvic wands. And then some of these guys said, You know what? Actually, my pain is better, and I actually like it.

And so it helps it medicalizes a little bit. That area to make it more comfortable. And whenever I’m talking to someone, I explained to them where you experience pleasure has nothing to do with your sexual orientation and where your partner experiences pleasure has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.

It’s just the basics of anatomy. and nerves. And I think, you know, especially in prostate cancer or men with prostate cancer, the nerves in that area are going to change. Right? And so what? Let’s say someone liked prostate massage before radiation. It might feel different after radiation, you know? And so it’s understanding that, you know, as we go through different life events, what feels good is going to change and certainly before and after prostate cancer.

So to be honest with you, I don’t know what prostate massage feels like for a man after radiation and how that would compare to beforehand. And so really at the end of the day, if something hurts, stop doing it. And if something feels good, keep doing it. But I think we need to open up those conversations, especially after prostate cancer treatment, because it’s such a common cancer.

Susan: The good news is that most, that younger guys like 30 and even 40 year old guys and younger, they’re really starting to be much more open to using prostate tools. So, and, and older guys are too more, you know, more and more and more men are like, Oh yeah, it’s just a part of my body. It doesn’t make me doesn’t make me gay because I like a prostate, prostate pleasure.

And one of the things that I, I have a very big gay following because I’m, because I do sexual biohacking and male enhancement gay men are really excellent at making sure that their equipment works and they’re very, you know, they’re very beautiful and their bodies are very sculpted. And so penis pumps just make a lot of sense to them.

And so I’m very popular in the gay community and they have no problem at all with P spot orgasms, prostate stimulation, et cetera. They’re very comfortable with it. And they have a much lower incidence of prostate cancer because of that. So, your prostate, everyone has, everyone has a prostate or a G spot.

And the G spot’s a urethral sponge. Everybody has these things. They, they are healthy and they are good pleasure. And they help remediate all that inflammation that the prostate gets as a man ages. And his BPH and all that stuff. It’s crazy nighttime urination and daytime dribbles and all the things that they go through.

And so if, if we’ve done one thing, Dr. Perlman today, it’s to demystify and de stigmatize prostate, massage, and pleasuring, because I really do feel like men would be so much healthier if they, if they had that. And that’s why I love. the remote control massagers because it’s very easy to insert and then they can just kind of take themselves up and down the program.

And the guys who do that, they’re, they’re going to live a longer, happier life. So maybe we’ve convinced a few guys to be open to it today.

Amy: Well, I think the other message there too, is that every product feels a little bit different. And every setting on each device feels a little bit different. And I think we, as women, we kind of understand that because we understand we’ve tried a lot of different vibrator products.

And I’m just like, I don’t know what it is about this one in particular. It just feels different and it feels really good. I don’t know how to explain it. Right. Yeah. And I think that’s the key thing that many to understand as well is that they’re all different types of shapes. of toys that are also for men and some may not feel good.

Some might feel like nothing, like there’s no added benefit. Exactly. So it’s, it’s realizing that the first product anyone gets, like with anything anyone purchases may not be the only product they get. And they just have to try ones until they are, you know, find one that they like. I’m actually writing a chapter right now for a book on erectile dysfunction.

And because I, I gave a talk about a year ago on sex toys and tools. And so now I’m like the go to person in the urology world for talking about sex toys. And so this chapter in particular is looking at the use of, you know, sex toys for men. There’s not a lot of research out there. So, you know, a lot of what we’re kind of bringing up in this chapter is acknowledging that one, we’re looking at some studies that are done in women that look at what lights up on functional MRI when it comes to you know, sex toys.

But other is, you know, some abstracts are, you know, out there, but no manuscripts are out there, so it’s a ripe area for research, which is what really excites me. Oh, good. There, you know, there are so many questions that we can answer. That I’m so excited for like the next five years because I think, I mean, women are really leading the charge in the sexual wellness space when it comes to these products.

And I’m excited to bring that conversation over to men.

Susan: Me too. Do you know about the Tanudo from Mystery Vibe?

Amy: I do know about the Tanudo and I recommend a lot of the Mystery Vibe products because I think that’s where you combine the medical and the pleasure and they do it in a very, very, very sensitive way.

Susan: They do. Yeah. They’re I, when I was in Europe, I had a nice dinner with Sumya Deep Rakshit. He’s the founder and got to meet his wife, who’s the co founder and took his little boy up on the, we took him up on the London eye on the big Ferris wheel. It was really sweet. He’s got a little four year old boy.

And yeah, I think that company has done, Mystery Vibe has done an excellent job with their products. They have the Crescendo, the Poco, and the Tenuto. Tenuto is the, is basically the penile ring with two vibrators. One for perineal stimulation for him, and one for clitoral stimulation for her. That traps the energy.

The blood into the penis so he can maintain his erection for partnered intercourse. And the crescendo is really nice because it’s, it’s for women who are having vaginal pain, painful sex, things like that, and orgasmia. But what I love about it is that it has these little flared ears that envelop the clitoral area.

shaft and then it wraps down around to the entroidal opening and the g spot the g area and delivers programmable sensation into the whole vestibule from the clitoris to the vaginal opening and the urethral sponge and it It’s bendable so that it can go into any size difference. Women are all different sizes.

So they built them really well and they, they, they made them for doctors to feel really comfortable giving away. And I’m so happy to see that about them. They’re just, they are an excellent company with excellent products. So I’m glad, you know, about them and that you’re recommending them too.

Amy: Oh, absolutely.

Susan, we are so lucky that we get to do what we do. I don’t know why more people don’t like go into what we’re doing, but what a beautiful thing it is to be able to talk about sexual health. And there are so many terms that we said tonight and different conversations we’ve had that I think a lot of healthcare providers think that it would embarrass people.

And yet I wasn’t embarrassed at all. You’re certainly not embarrassed. And I don’t think any person watching this video is going to be like, Oh my God, I can’t believe they said that. They’re going to be like, heck yeah, they said that. And I’m going to say that to my partner. And that’s really empowering.

Susan: Yeah, I agree. Thank you for having a conversation with me because I think the more that people hear this straight talk about sexual health, the more they’re able to move toward it as something that is vital to their life. So I’m really glad to have this collaboration with you. It’s been fun to talk to you about all this.

We are definitely two peas in a pod, Dr. Perlman.

Amy: And you know who I’m going to have watch watch our footage, my mother. I’m gonna have her watch it. And you know what? I don’t even feel embarrassed about that either because, hey, she needs to hear this conversation. And you know what? She’s gonna love it.

Her, her name is also Susan and I can’t wait.

Susan: Oh, I love that. I love that. I have a question. Are you guys Jewish? We are Jewish. Yes. Well, I want to tell your mother. That I and you and your whole family, Oh, it makes me so sad that I am really, really bummed out right now about what’s going on in our country with regard to the rise of antisemitism and that many, many, I’m not personally Jewish, but there are members of my family who are, and most of my close business relationships are people who are Jewish.

And I just am, I just wanna just take a minute. To really acknowledge that for as bad as the news is and for as horrible as some people are, that it’s not most of us and that I wish we had more anti Semitic protests like they had in France yesterday. I wish that Americans spoke up more on behalf of our allyship with our Jewish brethren and sisters and I just want to say it.

that I am deeply, deeply sorry about what you guys are going through. It’s terrible. It’s a terrible thing for your community. And and there are any hatred is terrible for any community and it is particularly horrible right now for our Jewish communities. So there you go, Susan and Amy.

Amy: Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.

Susan: Yeah. You bet.

Amy: Well, this was good. You covered a lot of ground.

Susan: I didn’t cry till the end. I really don’t cry a lot. I’m just so frustrated and, and worried about everything right now. I just hate it. I know you do too.

Amy: How did you, with the traveling, was it, like, did you, I mean, you felt safe. No problem. I mean, yeah.

I’m traveling to Dubai like next month. I mean, I feel I have a maybe a false sense of security in many ways. But I mean, I’m going to go on the trip.

Susan: I know. I got invited to speak at the World Biohack Conference. I’m waiting for them to confirm. But that’s in May at the end of Dubai. And I thought, you know, I’m going to go, but I’m going to take, I’m going to take a person with me.

I’m not going to go there alone. I think you’re okay if you kind of stick to the hotels and things like that where you’ll be, but I wouldn’t be wandering out. I wouldn’t be driving down to Abu Dhabi myself or anything, you know? Yeah, you gotta be, you’ve gotta be vigilant. I know my daughter went through Qatar and I asked her to please take, she’s been in Kenya.

Tanzania, she’s been in Mumbai all the way down to go to Kerala. Now she’s in Sri Lanka. She’s shooting a video. She’s leaving to go to Raja Ampat to Indonesia. From there, she’ll be going to Brazil. You know, she’s doing this giant multi country documentary that she’s shooting for her nonprofit. She’s a Marine scientist.

And I, I, I don’t, I, I kind of like refuse for her to travel alone and I make her take a dude. And the person that she’s been traveling with is a retired Marine Colonel, and he literally just retired and he wants to, he wants to see the world that he hasn’t seen. And he’s escorting her around through her documentary and protecting her and keeping her safe.

And I’m just like, so relieved by that. So, yeah, I think there is, with the rise of social media and the rise of AI and all of the negative social media programming that’s happening and what’s happening in Gaza right now, it’s just all so overwhelming for everyone to even process it. It’s all so horrific and it’s all so horrible for everyone.

You know, there’s a lot going on right now. Our crazy, you know, our political issues are not good here and we, the world needs us to be strong. Because we stand for one vote, one person for everyone in the world, and we, we can’t fall apart too many people in countries that barely have anything still, they need our help.

So it’s, it’s an exciting and sad time we live in right now, which is why. I think, you know, getting together like this and, you know, doing good things for the world can help us at least contribute in positive ways. So I really appreciate you having me.

Amy: Well, it’s been a delight.