The fallacy of Romance In Long Term Relationships – something about how our long term partners are more like friends and business associates, with their own kingdoms and we with our own queendoms – ??
[00:00:00] So look here. A lot of men want women to have orgasms, right? They want us to be orgasm. I want women to have orgasms. I do. Everybody do too. I think men like do it in a physical way to see, can I hit this the right spot? Yeah. And that’s not the starting point. Yeah. I want us to talk about the electricity that communication brings.
Yeah. Even prior to the bedroom. Mm-hmm. And I’m not talking about men do the dishes, then she’ll fuck you. Yeah. I’m not talking about that. Right. I’m saying like, if a woman has a. Full range of emotion. Mm-hmm. That’s where her orgasm is. She, if she’s allowed Yeah. To take up space emotionally. Mm-hmm. And he can hold it.
Yeah. That’s where her
orgasm comes from. One of my favorite things that I teach is something that I call the Sexual Soulmate Pact. Mm. It’s an agreement because soulmates. Are co-created. Yes. Sexual soulmates. There’s not somebody floating around out there waiting to like land on your, mm-hmm. It’s something that you collaboratively cultivate.
Cultivate. Mm-hmm. And the sexual Soulmate Pact, one of the tenets of it [00:01:00] is that when she asks, when she makes a request during love making mm-hmm. He says. Thank you. Mm. Got it. Mm. Tell me more. Mm. How’s it, how is it now? Yes. He acknowledges and encourages her by not collapsing emotionally. Yes. When she asks for something or gives feedback.
Yes. Because guys, they wanna do the right thing. Mm-hmm. And if they think they made a mistake, it really bums ’em out and then they can kind of check out of the sex. Right. And get super bummed out. And so a whole idea
that takes practice, that takes practice because I think that men don’t have. Practice in there.
And so then when they get in the arena and she makes a request, now he’s defeated. Exactly. Well, he hasn’t practiced. That’s another space holding technique. Yeah. Letting a woman ask you. And then do you feel submissive in that or do you feel like dominant, she’s asking you as a dominant person, or she’s telling you as a submissive person,
I like getting beyond dominance and submission into.[00:02:00]
Becoming more switchy. Ooh, yes. That’s the next step. Yes. That’s when you get more skill. Yes. Communication, skill, pleasuring skills. And then what comes beyond that is what I call the flow state of ecstatic bliss, where. You can go from being completely surrendered to your pleasure to running the show. Yes.
At in the moment. Without any like, I’m now I’m gonna be in charge or anything like that. Well, Susan,
that is right Brain, left brain. We have both. Yeah. Integrated. None of us are just one thing. Yeah. So I just love that. I feel like that flow state, I need you to tell me more about it. Yeah. Because that flow state is where a communication that is nonverbal is happening.
That’s what I was about to say, is that
limbic connection? Mm-hmm. Me being able to stay grounded mm-hmm. With you. Mm-hmm. Yes. Through touch. Yes. Me feeling? You feeling me? Oh, yes. You feeling? Me? Feeling you? That’s what is a [00:03:00] conjoined trance, state of bliss. It’s actually your theta brainwave states the same in prayer, in meditation, and in orgasmic ecstasy.
That’s the brain state you go in when you’re really deeply connected in a highly erotic. Pleasure zone where you can’t tell where your pleasure starts and your lover’s pleasure ends theta. And you just the theta state. Yes. You just wanna get into the theta state? Yes. Partially, it’s a letting go of everything and being in sensation and connection.
Mm. And sex is a mindfulness practice? Yes. That. You get better at as you do it. Yes. That’s why having lovers, the longer your lovers, if you keep learning new things together. Yes. You just get better and better in bed together. So wait a minute,
I’ll ask you that another time. Okay. I was gonna ask you about your husbands.
Oh. And if you guys have tried this together, but that’s what we, we Oh. Oh. That’s how we’re, that’s what we do. Of course. How do you think I learned that we don’t have to talk on a deeper level. Thank you so [00:04:00] much. This is beautiful.
