Strong and independent women tend to crowd out their masculine partners eventually. Men want to be desired on a profound and instinctual level. In this episode, Dr. Amara and I discuss the nature of the Shakti Queen, her sacred sexuality, and what she has to do to nourish her masculine partner.
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We’re discussing Amara’s training program, the Shakti Queen, and what the Shakti Queen does to nourish her relationship with her partner. When we say man, we mean the masculine, and when we say woman, we mean the feminine, wherever you are across the gender spectrum. It’s easier for us to get our point across by keeping it simple.
How does a Shakti Queen show up as the feminine to her masculine partner, and how does she nourish him?
With a partner on the masculine spectrum, the tendency is for women to lean too heavily into their masculinity. We start taking over the show and crowding out the men in our lives, which means we have risen and become so independent and vital that we’ve had to take care of business.
Eventually, it becomes uninteresting and exhausting, and we long for something else. When a woman reaches the point where she wants more masculine energy in her life, it’s exciting because she’s got a limit where she doesn’t want to come across as not needing a man. She feeds into her sacred sexuality. We’re not weak and can handle it. Men want to be enjoyed on a deep and instinctual level. They want to be genuinely needed, desired, and hauled.
A Shakti Queen realizes that she needs men at a profound level. So, there is sadness, disappointment, and frustration when we inadvertently and unconsciously crowd out the men in our lives. As they begin to separate, they start to look for other sources of feminine energy.
I call this a significant period of softening. We must unwind ourselves and become far more receptive. When we become receptive to good masculine supportive energy, it is fantastic!
Here’s a story regarding the topic. I was working with a woman who was a prominent account executive a while ago in New Zealand. She was the one taking care of business. Her husband was a chef and a musician – compassionate, very artistic, and their sexual life was flat. So, I gave them an assignment because I could see that she made every single decision. She decided where they would live. She said how much money they were going to make. I could tell by how they interacted that she was really in charge. He was an intelligent, brilliant man. They had a country cottage in New Zealand where they would spend three days. I told her not to make a single decision for those three days
Let him make all the decisions. I took the steering wheel out of her hands and gave it to him. I told her that she could only express her feelings. This activates the male response of “I’m looking for an opening. I can see that I am needed in some way when we express our feelings.”
Her response was hysterical. It was freezing one night, and she usually would tell him to turn on the heater or get her a blanket. She said, “I’m cold,” and then she restrained herself from telling him what to do. Because that’s what we tend to do. We tell them what to do all the time, and then half the time, we criticize them for what they did. So, this gentleman went outside and started chopping wood.
Meanwhile, she’s sitting on the couch and not moving because she doesn’t want to run the show. So he comes in like a peacock with the wood he chopped for her.
The secret is we give men the space to do it their way. They’re problem solvers. They want to fix everything anyway. They may not solve it how we would like them to, and we have to relinquish that. Please give them the space to be creative, let them do it their way, and then praise them.
Make your man do it and make them win. Guys need to feel like they’re winning. They need to be respected. If you tell them what to do, you don’t respect them.
I like the distinction of saying how you’re feeling and not what you need to be done. It also works between two women and two friends because we can become over-masculine all over the entire spectrum.
When we begin practicing being vulnerable and expressing how we feel, we leave a space for the universe to resolve it.