Expressing Feminine Power and Grace

I’m Susan Bratton with Amara Charles, a spiritual sexuality expert, and today we’re talking about her Shakti Queen training. There are five in this series of different pieces of the Shakti Queen training. Read on to learn about feminine power.

We’ll be discussing how a woman can express her full feminine possibility. Women may have a lot of masculine energy because we need it in the world today. But how do we get into our full feminine expression? What are our feminine power and expression potential? How do we know what our feminine powers are so we can bring them out and call them?

Women long to express themselves in a world that doesn’t often give permission. The number one mistake that women make is that they over-give when exhausted.

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Expressing Feminine Power and Grace 

I’m Susan Bratton with Amara Charles, a spiritual sexuality expert, and we’re talking about her Shakti Queen training. There are five aspects in this series.

Today, we’re talking about how a woman can express her real feminine possibility. Women like us have a lot of masculine energy because we need it. How do we get into our full feminine expression? What is our feminine expression potential? 

I believe that women are aching to open up their bodies, hearts, and minds. They long to express themselves fully. Because of being overly masculine and surrounded by a world that doesn’t often give the space, allowance, and permission to express ourselves fully, we end up holding it all in.

What are some of the classic feminine powers? One might be intuition, and another might be healing. How do we bring out our feminine energies and call to them? 

Shakti means power in Hindi, and one of our most incredible powers as women is that we are polymorphic. We’re multi-dimensional, and we have so many sensations and feelings. The key is to know when to wield all these different qualities: our fierceness, our tenderness, our calmness, our loving, and our wisdom. 

I believe that women are like different kinds of cats. Some of us are jaguars, and some are little pussycats. You never want to put a leash on a cat. Shakti energy wants to roam and be free to wander and express ourselves. The secret is if you make it good at home and joyful and loving and a beautiful place, the woman will naturally walk right back. Those are some of the principles of how a woman expresses her Shakti feminine power. 

Where do you see women stumbling the most in your workshops? Where do you see the disconnect between their feminine Shakti Queen and their place in the world? 

Women naturally love to give. But when we over-give, we exhaust ourselves. The key to restoring our Shakti, our inner forces, is to learn how to provide appropriately. That’s one of the essential things that a woman can do to turn around: to give in such a way that she doesn’t become exhausted. 

So, is the gift of giving understanding where your boundary point is? When do you pay attention to when you tire from providing and need to pull back? Is it awareness? 

I have a straightforward formula. We can learn how to give and nourish ourselves first. I call it filling the basket. We provide ourselves with pleasure, playfulness, creativity, room to grow to learn. The mistake we make is that we constantly reason. We’re giving so much to others that our basket becomes empty. A Shakti Queen knows to fill her basket and nourish herself until she becomes shiny and her basket starts to overflow.

We scrape the bottom of the barrel and give when exhausted. We offer and share, and then we resent it, and this whole pattern of improper giving is the biggest mistake women make to get really out of balance. So, when a woman gives from the overflow, she never depletes herself, which means creating a life consistently in every direction, with her relationships, with the way she eats and rests. A Shakti Queen never depletes herself. 

It makes sense. When I had my daughter Taylor 21 years ago, I was such a driver and always doing so many things. I thought to myself, how am I going to take off six weeks? I look back and wish I’d taken off six years. Somebody said to me, “When you have your baby, everyone’s going to fill in for you. Don’t worry; we’ve got you. We don’t expect you nor want you to give.” 

I remember when I got very ill from having a lousy gallbladder, Arielle Ford, my girlfriend, who I call my fairy godmother, said, “You’re too sick to do anything, so don’t do anything.” Arielle said, “The Universe is going to take care of this for you. You don’t need to worry about anything. Everything will not only be fine, but things will continue to move forward without you having to do it all.

That was the third time when I realized that a big part of my feminism was allowing others to care for me and not give all the time. There was a time when I realized that I have the responsibility of taking care of many people. Many people rely on me, so I have to keep myself safe, healthy, and nurtured to take care of the people I cared about. Many people call it self-care, but self-care hit home for me when I realized that the number one person I have to take care of is myself. 

Any other things you want to talk about regarding your feminine essence? I think another area that women get deluged is with their emotions. Drama hooks and floods us. We have such strong hearts and are so sensitive to everything that we tend to take on everyone else’s emotions.

The most important thing a woman can do to train herself is to learn how to listen to her heart. There’s this confusion. One voice tells us not to do this, don’t open up, don’t say what we feel. We have all kinds of emotional reasons why we stop ourselves from expressing love. We’ve been hurt in the past, and we don’t want to get hurt again, so there’s a good reason we should stay silent and keep all our emotions in. So, we become frozen, distant and we withdraw, or we start pushing, and we become critical.

Either way, our emotions puzzle us. Learning to listen to our hearts is an art. It means that we must have quiet times. We must have periods in our lives where we are just by ourselves. We perhaps need to be in nature or require that Yin, that quiet, tranquility to cultivate and not see it as a weakness. 

It’s very different from the passivity of sitting on the couch and doing nothing. This tranquility and relaxation is a woman’s power. When she learns how to take care of herself, nourish herself by relaxing, by allowing herself to tune in and listen to her heart, listen to her spirit, it refreshes a woman. Instead of being confused, tight, tense and stressed, feeling overworked, overburdened, and resentful, a woman learns to take care of herself. And that shininess and her relaxation is her power.

If you had the opportunity to be with a woman who was relaxed, felt good about herself, and took care of herself versus a woman who was pushing, straining, and frustrated, you’d rather be with woman number one, the Shakti Queen. 

Amara has something that she calls spiritual flirting. It’s very different from going to a bar and hooking up. I call it spiritual flirting because you don’t want anything except to share your glitter. You give your smile, a gift of your pleasant words, and it’s a straightforward, very conscious practice. We find that women who practice this are blown away by the responses of men. You would think that you have to guard and protect yourself when most men are happy to take in your smile, and they can feel when you don’t want anything. As a woman, you get the chance to show your beauty, be like a flower, and then later on in the series. We’re going to talk about how you can do this safely. 

You can go to the grocery store, the post office, casual places where you can dress beautifully, and you make it your business to flirt and enjoy the responses and actions, and you will see how much energy this gives you. 

You have beauty to give, and I hope you’ll share some today. I think about it as raising the vibration at the moment with anyone. When you provide that beauty, that is the flower of your femininity. I will see you at the next Shakti Queen with Amara Charles. See you over there!

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