I’m Susan Bratton with Amara Charles, a spiritual sexuality expert, and this is one of a five-part techniques series on moving into the Shakti Queen that you were born to be. Learn more about the tantric sex drive.
Amara is going to give you the first step to finding the Shakti Wheel of Power. She’s going to give you a technique for releasing blocks holding you back from experiencing your full sexual potential. How can you feel more of your tantric sex drive and more desire?
“You have to throw the universe a bone! This is what I want, crave, and desire.”
Everything you need is within right now. There’s no outside influence required for you to increase your libido and desire and become a sexier more compelling woman who draws lovers toward her.
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She sees other women having it, but she’s not getting it herself. What does she do? I have experienced that, and this can be turned around. I’ve met many women who don’t go around expressing that they have a low sex drive. It’s a secret shame. A lot of women feel that way. Like I’m not enough. That is counterproductive to changing.
You won’t change if you don’t own it or realize that it is something you want to shift in your life. Rather than treating it as a problem like “Oh my gosh, I have low libido,” they have to realize the first place to start is to say, “I must discover what I want. What do I desire?”
We must become very clear and passionate about what we want and desire. For example, you know, in a low-key way, I want more sex drive or a higher libido. That’s not going to do anything. So, the first thing is that we have to get in touch with how bad we want this. We want that even higher than when we were 20, and it is possible. We have to get to that place where we’re excited about this, and I know this is a challenge because that’s part of that issue. Having a lower tantric sex drive means your overall energy tends to be lower.
We cannot change something negative. We can’t say to ourselves, “I want to change my low libido.” The universe has nothing to work with. We must express ourselves to the universe. You have to throw the universe a bone or a boner! This is what I want, crave, and desire. I want a juicy vulva. I want to feel turned on. I want to feel sexy. I want someone to notice me for my sexiness. I want to be desired. I want to have an intimate connection. I like hot make-outs. I want passionate lovemaking. I want to have orgasms from penetration. I want to lie there and have someone go down on me, and I want to come and come. I want to have hours’ worth of sex. I want to have a couple of lovers. I’m just throwing out a few because that’s how specific we have to be, and it doesn’t happen if we just say that once.
When we get clear about what we want, we bring our emotion, heart, and passion. We’ve got to rehearse this in our minds over and over. Change does not happen just because you want something to change. So, you have to be determined to keep rehearsing, seeing yourself have that full, rich, orgasmic explosion, that loving heart connection.
The more you feel, the more those hormones and neural networks spring open, and those new passages and networks start to connect. That’s how you are laying the foundation to create this change in yourself.
See yourself, feel yourself, hear yourself, and taste yourself.
The first thing you must have to change is clarity. You must have the feeling and passion. This will accelerate if you rehearse it in your mind.
Then you need to learn new things if you want to replace the lower sex drive and those negative patterns, which are saying no, turning down opportunities, getting it retired, and being afraid. All of those things are hardwired into our neural network. That just exasperates and keeps the sex drive low. So, if you want to change, you’ve got to put yourself in new situations and learn something new. You have to create new neural pathways to make new connections in your mind, body, and spirit as you’re learning.
You have to try things like looking at Susan’s videos, for example, and learning and saying, ‘Wow, that’s possible! Oh, I never thought of that!’ When you agree to something new and exciting, you create a new connection. You could read books and go to workshops, and you’ll experience a different kind of connection where there are safety, love, care, respect, beauty, and orgasmic myths in a safe place where it’s okay to express yourself. Surround yourself with people who support this, have conversations, go to inspiring movies, and fill your mind and your body with the experience of what it feels like to have a higher tantric sex drive in your life. If you repeat this enough, you will accelerate this change. You won’t have that change by just waiting around until something happens.
Also, you can be helped by the augmentation of hormones and different practices and techniques, but what amplifies it is your spirit because your mind is your heart, which will help all these other techniques.
Two other things can help. Reading erotica works very well if you don’t have your fantasies. Expanding your fantasy life is a big part of it. The second is self-pleasuring. Try out different vibrators, give yourself a vulva massage with some warm coconut oil, and set aside some particular time when you will expand your orgasmic capability. Give yourself orgasms, take yourself to the edge and back. Tease and play with yourself; turn your body on. Also, get massages, get in the hot tub, and do anything that has some physicality to it, as it can help immensely.
One of the things I don’t want you to do is think that you have to get hormone replacement therapy, that you’re low on estrogen, or need testosterone. You can have plenty of desire even if you’re in menopause. Sex hormones do not give you the desire. The passion comes from your mind. Your mind generates your arousal and turn-on, and it’s a beautiful thing because one of the practices that I love to do is self-pleasure with this vision.
Say when you want to have a powerful orgasmic feeling, a solid orgasmic release, and not a little sneeze, imagine your own body doing this. If you can’t see it, hear it. Hear yourself moaning. You want to moan, maybe to accentuate and augment this.
So, you take yourself to the edge and then back, let it build and build, and when you finally let yourself release. That’s when you see yourself at that moment because you’re amplifying that thing that you desire. A higher sex drive with that visualization or humming sound or feeling at the moment of your orgasm can increase your manifestation.
If you do this minimally three times a week in less than a month, you will notice the difference in your sex drive. Three times a week for a month, you will think all kinds of sexy thoughts constantly because you will fire up all those juices.
Everything you need is within you now. There’s no outside influence required for you to increase your libido and desire and become a sexier, more compelling woman who draws lovers toward her because she’s cultivating her sensuality and is her own Shakti queen.
Anytime you feel stuck or disconnected, you can immediately get back to your center. Listen to your heart and take courageous action. The first step is to find the Shakti Wheel of Power. This is just one of a five-part series on moving into the Shakti Queen.