We’re so much more busy today than ever that we come home tired and stressed, we forget to pay attention to our partner in the way they want it most. I have a solution to reverse these feelings using my love formula. Where is that partner who used to love and watch you like crazy? Is she a workaholic? Is he holed up in his man-cave? Are you experiencing an attention-deficit marriage?
I’m Susan Bratton, trusted hot sex adviser to millions, with a solution to what I call the attention-deficit marriage. According to research from ASU, the longer you’re married, the more chance you have of becoming dissatisfied, and today’s marriages are less satisfying than marriages of the past. If you’ve been feeling ignored, lonely neglected or unappreciated, I have a solution to reverse these feelings using my love formula. L-U-V.
It’s three steps and step number one is L, which stands for Lay out a plan to re-engage.
Step two: You use physical touch points,
and step three: Verbally reassure each other.
Now let’s break it down because you’re not alone. The general social survey found that the number of Americans with no close friends has tripled since 1985, and zero is the most common number of confidants. Many partners, unable to deal with their frustrations at work or home, retreat from their relationship.
Today I’ll show you the three steps to get your partner’s attention and affection back. Step one: Lay out a plan to re-engage. The average number of people that Americans feel they can talk to about important matters has fallen from three to two. Loneliness appears most prevalent among millennials. Those kids are lonely. Talk to them. Explicitly commit to re-engagement by breaking the cycle of emotional disconnection. When you put intentional focus on each other, when you schedule time to connect for both physical and emotional attention to each other, when you set dates on your calendar, reminder alerts on your phone for check-ins during the day, when you plan a romantic vacation and when you’re together, you focus on listening and staying present. When you notice your attention wandering, you bring yourself back to your partner and repeat what you missed. Attention is a muscle that takes practice and awareness.
Number two is use physical touch points. Look each other in the eyes more often. At a minimum, kiss hello, goodbye, good morning, good night, and when your partner arrives or departs, get up out of your chair, greet them and give them a big hug hello and goodbye. Take turns giving daily foot and neck or face massages to each other. A great time to massage is in the evening. If you’re watching television, cuddle each other to sleep and hug when you arise, and use my Soulmate Embrace technique to get reconnected into a loving kind of state. Plan romantic outings that include moving your bodies together. A walk, a hike, a bike ride, some dancing, some yoga, a swim in the ocean. Moving your bodies together moves your emotions which keeps you more connected. Breathing deeply together lowers your stress and deepens your connection. Holding hands whenever possible increase your oxytocin. If you’re driving in the car, put your hand on your lover’s knees. Further, loneliness is contagious. A multi-generational study from the American Psychological Association of 5,000 people over time found that participants are 52 percent more likely to be lonely if someone they’re directly connected to such as a friend, a neighbor a co-worker, or a family member is lonely. People who aren’t lonely become lonelier when they’re around people who are. So if one of you is feeling lonely, you’re making the other one feel lonely.
Let’s get to step three: Verbally give your attention by using your words. Put emotional focus into your relationship by speaking. There are five types of verbal appreciation that partners want most: reassurance, respect, gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement. These are all different ways that you can acknowledge people for their contributions and their efforts. When your partner does something good, make a fuss over them. Look for opportunities to make your partner feel like a winner by appreciating your partner. You’ll feel more satisfied and happy in your marriage too.
Use the love formula and I’ll see you on the other side.
Click here to learn How To Increase Your Masculine Energy For Feminine Attraction.