The most important thing is to think about your sex life as a great adventure and an opportunity to create experiences and fun together. Stop thinking about having sex and start thinking about getting erotic playdates on the calendar for Thursday night.
“We’re going to get Chinese takeout. We’re going to eat that. I’ll set up the room. I’ll light the candles, get the towels and lube, and make love, and we’ll try this new thing.”
When you move from “We, have a sex life” to “Oh my god, every week we’re doing a new erotic play date,” your sex life gets better and better. It gets on what I like to call the upward pleasure spiral, where you feel so happy that your sex life is fantastic. That’s what we’re going to do right now.