Relationship advisor Susan Bratton is here to educate us on how to rekindle the romance in your marriage with lessons she learned through her many years of marriage. She’s also written a book on ‘Relationship Magic,’ which is technically a workbook, one of at least 20 different books on the topic.
Get Relationship Magic here.
[Int.] We all have learned the Golden Rule, right? Well, this woman says it’s ruining our relationships.
Let’s be honest. Can we talk? Now and then, our relationships with our significant others could use a little help. That’s perfectly normal. Learn how to rekindle the romance in your marriage.
Our next guest says you can start by tweaking the Golden Rule. What does she mean by that? Relationship advisor Susan Bratton is here to educate us on lessons she has learned through her many years of marriage. She’s also written a book on ‘Relationship Magic,’ which is technically a workbook, one of at least twenty different books on the topic. How long have you been married?
[Susan] 25 years. We hit some rough patches, and this is what helped us. It’s so simple. Lots of extra studying is what makes relationships great.
[Int.] Let’s talk about the Golden Rule. What do you mean by that?
[Susan] Almost everyone has heard of the Golden Rule: do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. We bring that idea into our relationship, and we treat our partner the way we want to be treated.
My rule is the Platinum Rule, which is to treat your partner the way they want to be treated and teach them how to treat you the way you want to be treated.
There’s another rule called communication, although guys are not big on that. The beauty of it is that this idea of understanding your top four relationship values and letting your partner know what yours is so you can give each other what you want.
Here’s what I like about this particular workbook. It asks you the question, and it allows you to write down the answers. I’m guessing that you would do the same with your partner.
[Int.] You each have a workflow workbook. Would you switch and read each other’s information?
[Sus] The whole idea is that you identify your top four relationship values. Let me give you some examples. I try not to be gender-biased, but girls and boys are usually pretty different. Women often say they want security as one of their top four values, whereas men might often not be interested in security.
They feel they can take care of themselves, whereas women like their guy to care for them. A man might say he wants a lot of affection. A woman might say I want you to take care of me, but I also need my freedom because we’re women of the world. These days, a man might say, I need total honesty in this relationship. I need to know where I stand at all times, or I get worried.
It’s servicing the essential things and giving your partner four items, a simple checklist of the most important things to provide you with what you want.
[Int.] I hear that this is something great to do at the beginning of a relationship. However, if you’re already in a relationship, it’s still something great to do because people change, and that’s where many people trip in their relationship.
[Susan] Your values tend to be reasonably consistent because they come from how you grew up, the models you had, the culture you live in, and the time you’re alive. If you do this exercise with a partner, you’ll understand why you acted like that.
Your behavior becomes apparent. You were trying to get what you needed, but you’d never quite put it into words for them. Figure out the top things you want and tell your partner what you need to learn how to rekindle the romance.
[Int.] It sounds so simple. Well, it is. We have all of Susan’s information on our website sonoranliving.com. Thank you, Susan. Go out, make it, and break it!