Print this out and put a little slip of paper in your wallet: “I’m a believer in consensual sex.”
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You’ve probably heard about “consent.” It’s about asking other people how they want to be touched by you. And with your permission, I’d like to tell you how we can communicate during sex, so we are both safe and sexy. Are you open to hearing my needs, boundaries, and requests?
The Consent Guidebook: thedatingadvicegirl.com/the-consent-guidebook/
Sexually active? You MUST understand this.
These days, many guys are gripped with fear that they might do something wrong when making sexual advances. Even women now realize THEY need to ask permission first before pursuing a partner.
That’s because of the #metoo movement and how the seduction landscape is evolving.
I made a video to help reduce your confusion.
How are you supposed to make the first move?
What’s a guy to do? What’s a WOMAN to do?
Simple: initiate a conversation about CONSENT.
“But Susan, I’m not even clear what consent is!” You might say.
You’re not alone. That’s why I made this video.
Consent is a BIG DEAL these days as it should be. More than ever, this issue is out in the open. People are starting to understand just how important it is to ask before you touch.
What they don’t understand is how to open that conversation. That’s what I’m going to show you in this video. And if you’ll allow me, I’ll even put some words in your mouth!
Often, we need a conversation starter to break the ice.
To make it even easier to open the conversation, let me give you a reframe.
We tend to think of consent in the frame of “to touch or not to touch.” And while that is, of course, early in the situation, the conversation about consent is also a way to connect.
By initiating the conversation, you make a connection that fosters quality of comfort. It lets the person relax. Ultimately, most of us love to be touched… when our boundaries are respected. Asking, “Is it okay if I touch you?” demonstrates awareness and respect. But that is kind of weird to ask. So I came up with some verbiage you can customize that sounds less weird.
Think of the “ask” as a way to connect that can draw a person toward you rather than a barrier to connection.
Get 3 core sex skills that generate more pleasure. Click here.
My goal for you: Respectful, enthusiastic, consensual sex. Here’s what to exactly say to have it: “I’m a believer in consensual sex.”
Consent is about asking other people how they want to be touched by you with your permission. I want to tell you how we can communicate during sex, so we’re both safe and sexy.
I am Susan Bratton, trusted hot sex advisor to millions, and you’ll hear more about consent over the next few years. I’ll explain it to have the necessary knowledge because everyone who is actively sexual should know this. Apart from people in dating relationships, I’m also talking about long-term relationships because consent is how you see the person you’re having sex with really wants it.
Consensual sex is sexier. Any time a partner doesn’t like something, they let you know. Each lover upholds each other’s requests, and you can play full-out with your agreements for the hottest sex possible.
Requests include things you won’t do during sex and conditions that have to be met, such as protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. So, before you have sex with anyone or even touch them, ask for their approval.
Sex includes oral sex and fingering. It includes anything that involves your arousal, your penis, vulva, your morals, your values. When you decide to have sex, you can have the consent talk.
Consent is about asking other people how they want to be touched by you and with your permission.
I want to tell you how we can communicate during sex, so we’re both safe and sexy. Are you open to hearing my needs, boundaries, and requests?
When you get to the talk, you can say you saved this because you wanted to capture your integrity around your sex life and how you interact with others intimately.
Now, the phrasing may not be the way you talk. Use it as your foundation. Make sure you have a consent discussion. When you have sex with someone, it’s good to discuss your sexual history, sexually transmitted infection protection agreements, and STI tests before having sex.
Here’s a video I did called How To Have the Safe Sex Talk. Watch the safe sex talk series, so you can see how to talk to your partner about sex. Include this consent conversation with your STI discussion because knowing each other’s boundaries makes sex even more surrendered because you don’t have to wonder what’s okay and what’s not.
When you enjoy everything on the table, it’s a sensual buffet. Here’s a shout out to Erin Tillman, author of The Consent Guidebook, a practical approach to consensual, respectful, and enthusiastic interactions. That’s what makes consent so great.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, why not share your current boundaries and desires with your partner? Because, as we mature sexually, our desires evolve if we allow them. Revisiting agreements and passions is fascinating and fun with your partner. Model consent, and grab my gifts, and I’ll see you on the other side.