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At 6:30 on this video, I tell you a story of a sex date where a husband ravishes his wife using my step-by-step directions. This is pure gold sex advice. Watch it.
I’m Susan Bratton, and I have a letter from Don, one of my fans. He wants to know how to ravish his woman in the bedroom.
Don, I am so glad you asked me that. Let me read you Don’s letter, so you get the whole story, and then we’ll talk it through.
Don says, “Our sex life has progressed over the last year or two from ‘once a month or less’ and ‘can’t talk about it’ to ‘once a weekend let’s talk about it.” I’ve done this all through your program ‘Revive her Drive.’ It’s progress, and it feels hopeful. My assertiveness would have historically led to significant conflict. At this time now, she’ll protest briefly, then enjoy herself and remain very bonded to me afterward.
Still, as I take new risks, I fear going too far (I know). I have retention, but I’m running out of safe ideas to keep opening her up. I’ve begun to work with masculinity and polarity, which is new and awkward for me. She protested a lot the first several times. The last notable time she protested, I had slapped her on the butt as I entered her from behind. She let out a half protest, then got quiet as I finished. Historically, this would have created weeks and even months of conflict.
The next day, as I walked behind her, she held the car keys over her shoulder. I had to move forward to grab them. At which time, she stopped, causing me to bump my pelvis into her rear end, at which time she said, “I know how you like taking things from behind.” Yep, that’s a paradigm shift in our relationship. I’ve gained the courage to take charge in more ways, but my vision and sense of fantasy are somewhat limited. She attracted me because she was smart and had a sexuality that I knew could match mine.
I didn’t realize how repressed our sexuality was. I’m nervous that I may not be the leader required to release all that she has bottled up. I’ve been thinking about where I’m stuck and observing our interactions for the last few weeks, and I noticed that two things seem to be at the core of my struggle.
I became aware that I have no idea what I would want if I were to imagine taking her, ravishing her, or doing my wife. I have awkward ideas about what or how she would like to be ravished, and I don’t have any connection inside myself to what I truly want.
The second revelation was that during sex, I always have created a merging that lacks polarity. A few nights ago, I observed that I do this looking for approval in a safe non-provocative way.
I observed how the energy changed as I practiced grabbing her and moving her more forcefully. This fear is perpetuated by not having a sense of my sexuality, not knowing how to ravish a woman. I feel this imbalance as I write to you, Susan. With all that said, I’m sure there’s more work to be done and opening her up, and at the same time, perhaps there’s more work to be done in opening myself up. This isn’t just about sex. I can say I don’t even know what my dreams and ambitions are anymore. – Don.
Wow! Don such a good question! Let’s start at the top with the very last thing you said: I don’t know my dreams and ambitions. I’m not sure what I want, so it all goes together because your sexuality is vitality. It’s all that creativity, desire, and appetite for life are directly connected to your sexual appetite too. When you don’t know what you want in bed, you usually don’t know what you want in life, and you can heal both those things; they heal together if you will.
Everything you need is inside you right now. You have to learn how to listen to yourself deep inside as you’re making love to your woman to find out what’s coming up for you that is fuelling your desire at that moment that you’re going to get better.
I will tell you how to ravish your wife and give you a game plan. I’m going to tell you about a bedroom story. And as you’re listening to me, I want you to take the things you want and change the things you don’t like. This is one idea from millions. It’s not the “right way;” it’s just a possibility.
You get to feel this idea of masculine sexual leadership as you take charge, move her body around, spank her butt, and take that dominant role. It gives you a sense of masculinity and a feeling of polarity. She likes it, or she wouldn’t have stopped and made you bump into her and said that snide little comment.
Many times, when guys are reworking their sex life with their woman, using the Revive Her Drive program, they came into it thinking, “I’ve got to fix her,” and the smart ones come back to me and say, “I thought it was her, but it was me. I need to fix myself and work on my polarity.”
The four steps to rekindle your passion with your woman are to romance her, turn her sensual body back on, and learn advanced non-manipulative, non-needy seduction skills, and advanced sexual mastery skills to give her orgasms.
I always omit step one, which is polarity, because if I tell a guy, “Hey, you have to fix yourself before you can fix her,” they will say, “What’s wrong with me? Please don’t assume that it’s my fault. I’m already so depressed!” So, I let men get to it on their own, and you did, which is fantastic!
Let’s talk about how you ravish her in the bedroom. Let me walk you through a lovemaking scene so you will be taunting, tantalizing, and teasing your wife for a day or two before you pull this off.
You will get her some lingerie and lay it on the bed. She won’t know that this has all been taken care of. You will set the room the temperature that she likes and put on the music that turns her on the most. You will get candles ready, heat coconut oil, organic coconut oil in a squeeze tube, so it’s melted and warm in the sink. Put a sink full of hot water and put the bottle there. You can put in some organic avocado oil, which you will use on her yoni. The coconut oil is for her body massage.
You will get a pitcher of water and a glass or two and have them by the bed. You’re going to make the bed pleasant and throw down a waterproof sheet. It could be a crib pad; it could be a little sheet you tape around your mattress. You will put another sheet on top of that and a stack of towels on the bed. Get that room ready for lovemaking. Lay out the lingerie and some sexy shoes, which could be something she owns or something you bought her.
I’ve got many articles on my website about what kind of lingerie women like and the best. The safest things to get are usually a cup-less bra and crotchless panties. But in this case, you might also want to get her sexy underwear, a chemise, or something that covers her up that you can take off her too.
Maybe while she’s making dinner, you start in the living room, and you’re going to give her a foot rub or neck rub. You’re going to stroke her hair. You’re going to tell her how sexy she is and how much you want her. Then you’re going to say after dinner, “I have a surprise for you. Please don’t go in until I let you, and I want you to go in there. There’s something on the bed, and I want you to put it on, and then I’m going to come in and see how I like it.” That sets up what she’s going to do for you.
We girls love presents, especially sexy ones. You will have dinner. You’re going to tell her how sexy she is, how much you love her. You’re going to laugh, be playful, and silly. Then you’re going to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom, and you’re going to say, “I’ve got a very nice night planned for us, and I want you to put this on, and I want to see you in it you’re going to take your clothes off.” Help her put it on and say, “First come over here and let me love you. Let me hug you and hold you,” and you will sit up on the bed with a bunch of pillows behind you like a throne, and you’re going to have her come into your arms and lie there beside you.
You will stroke her hair and her body, and you’re going to say, “Let’s hug. Let’s relax for a minute because we’ve got plenty of time and we’re going to have some fun tonight. Just relax.”
You’re going to hold her and calm her nervous system down. You will look into each other’s eyes. Start breathing deeply and have her breathe with you so that you get relaxed together, and then you will say, “Hey, is there anything that you want to talk about? Is everything good? Are you comfortable?” If she needs to get anything off her chest, this is the time you listen.
You soothe her, and you stroke her. She has her lingerie on. You keep telling her how sexy she looks and give her specifics like, “Your breasts look so gorgeous in that cup-less bra. I love the way they’re so perky. Your nipples are the ones I have always loved the most. They are so suckable.” You will say things like that, whatever is real for you. Then you will start by giving her a body massage. Now, this is where you may want to remove some pieces of her lingerie.
You will move here and say, “Okay, baby, I want you to lie here. I’m going to give you a massage.” You give her a nice massage and get her loose and fluid. Then you roll her around and start kissing her a bit. You get on top of her. She’s lying back on the bed. You come down over her, pin her hair down, and kiss her face and forehead.
You kiss her neck and her chest, her shoulders, her mouth, but you only brush your lips on hers and come back. Then you brush again and maybe do a little lick and then come back. You’re giving her variety, letting her relax into the sensation of you making out with her.
Then you can go further depending on the kissing she likes to do with you. You can kiss her, have French kisses, deep probing make-out kisses as you’re running your hands all over her body. What you’re doing is you’re awakening her sensual grid. You’re firing up the proprioceptive skin on her body so that she can feel her whole body. You’re making her whole body come alive with all of that. Then get pillows and set her up.
Set up the pillows and go down on her and remember that you’re working your way from the outside-in. Don’t go straight for her clitoris. You’re telling her how beautiful her pussy looks and everything you like about it. You’re telling her how it’s getting more and more turned on. It’s getting a darker color. It looks plumper, and then you start to give great oral sex. If she comes, that’s great. If she doesn’t, don’t worry. Use your fingers and hands as well. I don’t want you to lick her pussy with your tongue. Please use your hands, touch, and stroke her g-spot. Please work your way in slowly and give her blended orgasms.
You’re getting as much blood to her yoni as possible. Remember that she has a penis inside her, and you want to get her whole clitoral structure, the clit, the shaft, the legs, the vestibular bulbs, all the things you learned about that I taught you to on my website. Please get all that stuff engorged and full of blood so that she has a hard-on in her vulva. Then you want to get her to the point where you start moving around on the bed.
While you’re eating her pussy, you want to move her legs, you want to lift her butt, you want to jiggle her a little on your face. The whole idea is you’re in charge. When you move a woman’s body, you carry her emotions. She will have so much fun. You might flip her over and give her a couple of little smacks. A spanking is an excellent thing. It doesn’t have to be a hard spanking. You want to animate her sweet little cheeks with sensation. It can be little tiny pats or squeezes. It doesn’t have to be a spanking. That will get her going, too, because it’s a little naughty. It’s something new.
Then you want to say to her, “I want you to go down on me now. I want you to get on your knees on this towel on the floor, and I want you to give me three little licks.” If she’s not big on going down on you, make it super short. Make it a finite thing. Please give me three little licks. Now, I teach these techniques in our book called the Blowjob Secret. You can learn all about how to get your woman to love to give you oral sex, and I’ll tell you all the benefits to women in that book. I can’t go into it now. Please get her down on your knees on the floor. I want you to hold her hair, and I want you to have her give you a couple of little licks slowly.
Remember, grooming is number one. Make sure that you’ve shaved back your pubic hair. You’ve got any of those little scraggly hairs that dangle from the bottom of your penis chopped off. On my website are the two tools I recommend. They’re great for men and women. You can look up manscaping at personallifemedia.com, and you can find the two tools that I have used and recommended for years. You don’t have to wax or shave.
These are like a beard trimmer and a close shaver. Get your junk manscaped, and then it’ll be much nicer for her. When you wash it with soap, rinse it very carefully because some soaps can have a sour taste. So, when a woman takes you into their mouth, it doesn’t taste good. So, you have to watch details like this. Women are susceptible to flavors, smells and tastes, and the feeling of things. So, you want it to be friction-free oral for you. You want to make it super easy for her to have a great time.
Then you want to tell her that she’s going to have to beg you to have sex. You’re not going to put it in until she begs you, and when she does, I want you to pick her up and lay her down on the bed. Then open her legs and push her down. Make sure she’s down. Hold her with one hand and hold your penis with the other one.
Tap your penis on her vulva and her clit. Rub it around. Go above her clitoral hood, in that slick tissue that’s just above her clitoral hood, all the way down to her perineum. Don’t tap your dick on her anus. Don’t get the penis near the anus if you’re putting it in the vagina. Get her wanting you to put it in there. You want her to be like, “Oh baby come on; you’re driving me crazy. Stick it in. I want you so bad.” That’s what you’re going for.
You’ll know you’ve done an excellent job when she’s playing along and having a great time with it. Remember that what you’re doing right now is roleplay because this is new for you. One kind of sex is role play, and that’s what this is. You don’t have to do it correctly, and you might have to stop. She might say, “I don’t actually like that part.” All you say is thank you, and you say, “How do you like this?” You give her other options. So, when you are making love to her, when you’re having intercourse, try a few positions. Bend over the bed, baby. I’m taking you from behind. Put those high-heels back on.
You want to get a couple of positions, so she remembers it, and the whole time you’re just telling her how unbelievably sexy she is to you and how much she turns you on and how no other woman does it for you. Keep giving her excellent positive feedback. You want to give her permission. You want to tell her she’s great, and you want to be the guy in charge.
Remember that after you’ve come, she might still have a few more orgasms in her, so you could put your fingers in her and stroke her g-spot while she holds her vibrator on her clit at the end to have a few more orgasms. Because once she’s penetrated, it gets her entire vulva warmed up. So, a lot of times, you might be satisfied, but she’s got a few more in her. Ask her, “Hey, I’d like to do this to you now. I want to get a few more orgasms out of you. shall we try it?” Have the vibrator clean and ready at the bedside table.
Get everything dialed in. That, my man, is masculine sexual leadership. She doesn’t have to wonder what the plan is or tell you what to do. She follows along and gets fantastic sex and orgasms from a man who adores her and finds her incredibly sexually irresistible. So, start there, and I would imagine that as you’re doing it, things will start coming up for you that you’d like to do too. Something that you’ve thought about or that occurs to you at the moment.
Tap into yourself, and as you start doing these things, you’ll find your zest, vitality, and connection to yourself, and your woman continues to grow. I hope that this has been an excellent help in teaching you how to ravish your woman. As you can tell, it’s my pleasure, and I appreciate you being part of my world. Have a great day, and let me know how it goes.