The feminine is the fire and the masculine is a light switch. That’s the essence of masculine feminine dynamics. The masculine is testosterone-dominant, ready to go, and that is why sometimes guys hold back because they’re afraid that it’ll be too much. That’s wise because a woman often needs to be romanced first. Only then can her sexuality can emerge.
She’s more like the fire. A fire starts with a little kindling, fluff, and a little light, and then you blow on it. You add some twigs, and then it starts to smoke. You don’t start a woman by throwing on a log. The guy is the log. He’s ready to go almost always. That being said, men love sweet nothings as much as women do.
Men and women both love to move forward, seduce, turn on, arouse, and desire. We all share that in common. In that vein, we are no different. But, starting with the smaller things and working your way up to the big things is an essential attribute of dirty talk.
There are a couple of important things when looking at the masculine and feminine. I won’t get into dirty talk tricks, techniques, shortcuts, and strategies. This is a shortcut to the feminine. A woman wants to be both adored and found sexually irresistible. She likes it in almost equal measure. You can’t only say the sexy stuff (I love your butt. You’re so sexy. You’re such a hot thing,”), and not say, “You’re a beautiful wife or a gorgeous mother. I respect who you are as a woman. I love your brain and the way your mind works.”
If you don’t give adoration in equal measure with the sexual worship and desire, then a woman feels dirty. She feels objectified on a sexual level rather than loved for all aspects of who she shows up as a woman in the world.
When you think about dirty talk, you want to give your lady a combination of things. You adore and appreciate her with the things you find very sexy about her. Toggling in sexuality is an essential aspect of raising arousal.
For example, you don’t start with, “I’m going to turn her on. I’m going to grab her boobs and crotch. She’s going to get turned on!” That’s overwhelming. She’ll be like, “Wait! What are you doing? We haven’t even kissed yet. You haven’t even hugged me yet.” For a woman, arousal starts with relaxation. A lot of the dirty talk must be calming, soothing.
A heterosexual woman in a relationship with a man loves his deep voice. This is a trick for guys. If you find yourself talking up here and you’re stressed, you can go like this. “Mhmm.” And when you start talking, you realize how much lower that is. When you say “Okay, baby, come on over her in my arms. Lie down here and let me hold you.” That sounds good to her.
Even as I say that to myself, I’d like my husband to say that to me tonight. I’m going to remind him to do it. Ask your partner when you want them to do something for you. Telling them what you need is an important part of dirty talk.
“Hey baby, can you talk dirty in my ear to me?” She wants you to whisper in your ear. You as the masculine, you want, “Hey baby, I think you’re so sexy. I want to feel your big muscles,” in that breathy turned-on whisper. Those are classic dirty talk vocalizations that we find arousing. Go down, low, seductive, slow. Delivery is 92% of communication. Both the verbal and body language, not the actual words.
The words often are less important than how you say it. If a woman wants to be equally adored and found sexually irresistible, a man wants to feel respected and competent. He’s looking for this idea of “Baby, you’re the best lover I’ve ever had. I love the way you hold me. I love your touch. You did an incredible job making love to me today. I’ve never had more incredible orgasmic experiences.”
When you tell a man those things, he knows that he is not only respected and appreciated by you but he’s won. He is a competent lover. A man wants to know he’s doing a great job. That feedback for him is critical. Masculine feminine dynamics play a big part in elevated dirty talk.
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