My name is Susan Bratton. I’m an intimacy expert to millions, and I’ve been teaching people how to transform having sex into making love for 15 years. I got into the business of being a sexpert when my marriage failed because I wasn’t having orgasms from intercourse, and I didn’t want to have sex anymore. Learn about the matriarchal view of sex.
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Over the last 15 years, I’ve learned so much about the difference between masculine and feminine. The way we approach lovemaking and sex is innocent, but it’s wrong.
I want to describe the difference between the matriarchal and patriarchal views of sex. We’ve been having sex the way men need to have sex because we didn’t know what we didn’t know. So I will tell you what I mean and why understanding what women need in bed will make both the masculine and the feminine happier and more orgasmic.
That said, there’s a caveat. I support people across the gender spectrum. When I talk about the man and the woman here, you have to apply it to your own life in the way that works for you. But I will primarily talk about the heterosexual monogamous typical mainstream sex life, which I think is gone off the rails. I will talk about how to get it back on so women become massively orgasmic and achieve the orgasmic potential, connection, and pleasure that is our birthright.
There is no blame game here. I think men do a fantastic job because I have been helping men, even more than women, to become better lovers for the last 15 years.
I am not a therapist, psychologist, or sexologist. Instead, I am a publisher of passionate lovemaking techniques. I am an orgasmonaut, and I have come 20 different ways for hours at a time. I have gone to the farthest reaches of our orgasmic potential to bring back the map so you can understand how to have the pleasure available to you right now if you knew it was possible.
Many things about sex are that it becomes effortless to have it once you’re aware of it. I think this video could shift many things for you, no matter whether you’re masculine, feminine, or have a non-binary gender identity.
One of the biggest reasons I think the matriarchal perspective is necessary is that the female body, the XX chromosome human being, has estrogen as her dominant sex hormone. The masculine, the XY homo sapien, has testosterone as his dominant sexual hormone.
So he’s got a bit of a competitive advantage which is excellent, and I’m glad for that.
Number one, he gets testosterone every morning. If he’s healthy, he gets a hard-on every morning. The female-bodied go through a 28-day cycle where women run with the moon. Even after menopause, we have a five-day horny window that starts about five days after our period and runs about five more days.
You can find out more about the five-day horny window. I have videos and articles on it, which you can see at betterlovernew.wpengine.com and personallifemedia.com.
I have so much content and information, so there always will be little branches you might want to pursue.
So, he’s horny every day, wakes up with a hard-on, and has the benefit of something called hemodynamics. He has in his penis three big chambers that fill up very quickly with blood.
If you follow my work, one of the things you’ll find is that blood flow is the single most crucial aspect of sex. It’s called engorgement, or when the erectile tissue of our genitals fills up with blood. This determines the pleasure we feel and how many pleasure signals go to the brain.
Dudes are lucky because they have these three big chambers that fill up with blood. It’s easy to imagine that a banana is a penis. Half his penis sticks out of his body, and half goes down toward his testicles. It goes in and down toward his testicles.
What’s interesting is that if this was all the erectile tissue, then what we’re talking about is that we women have as much erectile tissue in our vulva, our female genital system, as our male-bodied partners do in their penis.
But only the tip of it shows outside, which is our clitoral glands, the tip of our clitoris. This amount of tissue is the same as in the penis and wraps inside our vulva.
You probably know what the vulva looks like. But if I take away the top layer of skin, what’s underneath is our erectile tissue. We have three erectile tissue systems in our vulva: the clitoral system – glands, shaft, arms, and legs; the urethral system, a long tube that is essentially our g-spot. But it’s not a spot. Instead, it’s a long tube.
We have the perineal sponge on the floor between our vagina and rectum. The vagina has mechanoreceptors that love light touch and stimulation, not just pounding and friction.
Our entire vaginal canal is wrapped in erectile tissue like my arm is covered in this beautiful bracelet. This is the sticking point of the matriarchal versus patriarchal situation. When women have sex too fast before they’re ready, they aren’t erect enough. So we’re having sex with the female version of a flaccid penis.
Guys don’t want to have sex with a flaccid penis. Because our erectile tissue system consists of nooks and crannies, it takes a long time for the blood flow to get in there. The yoni is a tantric word for the female genitals. The yoni is like an English muffin. You heat it up and then put cold butter there. That butter has to melt and get into all the nooks and crannies.
The masculine thinks a sexy thought. If he’s healthy, he has a hard-on because he has these fast-filling chambers and a suspensory ligament that goes, and he’s ready to go. So he’s already horny, full of testosterone. He wakes up horny, has an erection, and is prepared to go, which means we often are being penetrated long before we’re ready.
So we can’t get more surface area that feels more pleasure that wraps our vagina and allows us to achieve our orgasmic potential. I tell guys to slow down and slow down some more. Then, it would help if you slowed down even more. I’m not kidding. That is the trick: slowing everything down, getting blood flow to her genitals, engorging her yoni, giving her a clitoral erection.
You know the rule of thumb. It’s good to have 20 minutes of foreplay. The reason is that we’re barely beginning to get engorged at 20 minutes. We need to have that blood flow in, especially if we’ve never gotten the stimulation and manipulation of our genital tissue.
What’s nice is that when we activate the vulva and give the vulva the attention and manipulation it needs before penetration, we get better at having that engorgement happen quickly. Our body can fill with that blood faster. There are a couple of other essential things. One is that we deplete our nitric oxide stores in middle age.
I make a nitric oxide supplement because it’s essential, and because I’m an organic girl, they are from organic fruit and vegetables. FLOW is excellent for topping up your nitric oxide stores. Hence, you have enough blood flow to get the genitals plump, flush with the blood, and get the blood flowing to the pelvis that seeps the blood plasma through the vaginal mucosa and lubricates our tissues.
If we’re dry and flaccid and we’re having sex because our partner has a boner and is ready to go, and he plunges into us, we’re having terrible sex. This is very important to understand. I can’t stress enough how important it is to slow down. Teach your partner to get your yoni ripe and ready to go if you are the woman.
The other essential things are a lot of full-body touch and orgasm skills. Learn how to give orgasms, oral and manual, and not just penetration. A lot of kissing and breast play is significant for us.
Women can have 20 kinds of orgasms and want you to give those to us. So please watch my next video. It’s called Passionate Lovemaking step-by-step directions. It’ll teach you the 15 steps to turn a woman on and take her to heights of incredible pleasure.
I also have a gift for you called arousalsecrets.com. It’s a video that explains how to turn sex into making love in the way a woman needs to be made love to. It’s how to increase your sex drive, feel desire, enhance arousal, and blow up your orgasmic intensity. That’s at arousalsecrets.com.
I hope you’ve understood that we need more time to get turned on and need your help in getting there as our partner. If you’ve ever felt you can’t orgasm from intercourse or, “Sex isn’t that great for me. I don’t want it anymore,” it’s because you haven’t got the lovemaking your feminine body needs to achieve that orgasmic potential.
I’m Susan Bratton, an intimacy expert to millions. I’ll see you on the Passionate Lovemaking video on the other side.