Once you know your top four relationship values, you can look at any prospective person you could date through that lens. You could say, “Could they provide the level of freedom?” Read on to learn how to find a match for your relationship values…
Here’s the link to our downloadable workbook called, Relationship Magic which helps people understand their relationship values. Click here.
Let’s say freedom is one of your top relationship values, but someone you met wants to be instantly monogamous. They’re clingy and want to know everything you’re doing and everywhere you go. They want you to text them all through the day. You think to yourself, “That is not a values match.”
It gives you a good sense of what’s important to you, and it allows you to communicate those values to a prospective partner. For example, if you say to someone, “I’m a freedom lover. I can’t be pinned down. I would love to date you, but I’m not into monogamy right now. I’d love to go out and have a good time, and I’d be happy to be a girlfriend for you but not the only girlfriend. Are you cool with that? Can you handle that?”
Some people might say, “That’s not right for me. I’m looking for someone who’s totally into me. I would feel weird wondering if you’re having a better time out there with someone else.” Conversely, if you are that person on the other side of the coin in a relationship where it’s just the two of you against the world, and it’s only the two of you. That’s the only thing you’d settle for, then maybe dating someone who wants to date around isn’t right for you.
This is how you qualify someone as a prospective partner. It starts by understanding your relationship values because then it’s easy to understand what a good match is and where you might get heartbroken.