Elevated dirty talk goes back to the sexual soulmate experience. Honoring and worshipping each other builds a deeper bond in your relationship. One of the best ways to further strengthen your connection is through genital worship.
Most people are ashamed about their genitals, especially the female-bodied and males. You’d be surprised how many men are embarrassed about their genitals. Some people go to therapists, coaches, psychologists, and psychiatrists for their sexual issues, which I highly recommend.
Not enough people do it, but many people heal each other in their coupledom. One of the healing things that people can do is worship each others’ genitals. You might have thought about Tantric lovemaking like Kamasutra. It is soul-connected, heart-connected, emotionally-connected, slow, and sensual.
Tantra is a Sanskrit word from Hindu or Indian culture. It’s an ancient practice, and it’s been brought into the Western world as red Tantra, which is sexual Tantra. They use beautiful Hindi and Sanskrit words. The word for a woman’s genitals is Yoni (Y-O-N-I) and for the male genitals is Lingam (L-I-N-G-A-M.)
The Yoni and Lingam work perfectly together, and when you honor them, you’re lovingly touching them. You’re looking at the genitals and describing what is beautiful about them to your partner. You’re massaging their genitals with some warm organic avocado oil, which is my preferred lubricant because it’s non-toxic, body-safe, and doesn’t disrupt the vaginal microbiome.
You rub your lover’s genitals and take your time to tell them how beautiful they are, “I love the color of your labia right now. It’s pink, but as I touch you, it’s getting tinged with a dark purple along the edges of your labia. I love how it looks like a butterfly and how beautiful and glistening pink the skin is. I love this soft, slick skin, and as I stroke it. It feels like velvet under my fingers.
I can feel the blood flow, which is critical for pleasure coming into your genitals. Your genitals are swelling up with desire and blood flow. I can see your beautiful clitoris like a pearl in an oyster. As I’m touching it, it’s starting to stand up to attention.
What do you see? What does it look like? Your Lingam is so beautiful. I love that it’s flaccid, and as I slowly stroked it. It’s coming alive. I love the little helmet on the top, the foreskin, and this beautiful frenulum. I love the veins along your penis, and I love seeing them get filled with blood as I stroke your penis. As I send my heart love into your body with every stroke, cup your beautiful balls, and rub your penis, and I think about how much I love you and our sex together.”
These conversations are not dirty talk but adorative, sexual, and sensual love. There is no wrong. It’s playful if you make a mistake. Nobody will get into trouble. You’re here to help each other learn, and remember that your sexuality is always maturing. You continually grow and change.
You’re always making new sexual trysts with life as you evolve as a person. So, what wasn’t right yesterday could be what you want today. Honor, stay present, connect with yourself, your lover, and be right there and love each other. Understand the masculine-feminine dynamic and have fun with it.
She’s the fire, and you’re the light switch. You want to work from the outside in and start with romance. He wants instant attention and pleasure. If he can handle more direct conversation typically, then she can, too. But remember, everyone’s different, and you always want feedback. There’s no such thing as failure. It’s all feedback to do a better job the next day and share frames after you have a dirty talk.
Different types of elevated dirty talk work for different people. Your observational skills, love, and appreciation can be the sexiest elevated dirty talk there is. I hope this has helped you.
This whole time I’ve forgotten to tell you that my book, Dirty Talk is free. You’ll get a PDF version of Dirty Talk when you go to dirtytalkbook.com. This one is concise, which is nice. It’s only about 42 pages long. It reviews everything I’ve talked about and gives more, and you won’t get the printed version. You’ll get the PDF that you can download and print out, read on a date night together and work on your dirty talk together.
I’m Susan Bratton, a trusted hot sex adviser to millions, and if you want to follow me, you can find me on Facebook. You can find me on Instagram under @susanbratton and BetterLover.com. If you have any other questions, post them. I’ll reanalyze and answer. I love the comments. Post below, and I’ll see you on the other side.
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