How To Finger A Girl, Pussy Massage, Fingering and Clitoris Stroking

I believe three essential pieces contribute to a woman having orgasms from intercourse. They are context, variety, and engorgement. Any woman can orgasm nearly every during intercourse, but it’s a learned skill, and it is available to every woman. You only need to know some things and have practice. Read on to learn how to finger a girl.

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CONTEXT

The three major components to having orgasms are context, variety, and engorgement. Context means the conditions have to be right emotionally and environmentally. She needs to want to have sex with her partner in a good place. STI’s and other contraception have to be handled. She needs to feel good and in the mood. 

VARIETY

Variety can mean anything from the thrill of a new partner to getting a variety of stimulation to climax to and an exciting lovemaking experience. This is why having many sex techniques is vital as you have to stimulate a woman in different ways. 

ENGORGEMENT

Engorgement means blood flow, which is everything to orgasm. If the tissue around her vagina doesn’t get enough blood from stimulation, she will struggle with penetration orgasms. You can have a perfect environment and lots of techniques, but she will work to come without engorgement. 

Women have erectile tissue in their clitoral structure. The clitoris isn’t just that tip. On the outside, there’s buried tissue that looks like a starfish. She has a urethral sponge that some people call the g-spot and a perineal sponge at her vagina’s base. It is the same amount of tissue a man has in his penis.

DON’T RUSH

Learn how to finger a girl. You can stimulate a woman’s erectile tissue by knowing where it is and how it likes to be stimulated. Just as a man gets pleasure from being erect, a woman does too. Rushing sex or not knowing how to finger a girl and stimulate her genital system means she will not have the intensity and volume of orgasms. 

Women need a lot of tongue and hand stimulation to get that tissue full of blood. The blood-carrying capacity is as vital for women’s pleasure as it is for men’s pleasure. 

Here are a series of pictures of women’s genitalia. You can see the clitoris and the shaft, her clitoral arms, and legs. In this picture, the urethral sponge and peroneal sponge are also visible. The vaginal canal is surrounded by erectile tissue. It loves to be touched, squeezed, kneaded, licked, and rubbed. Learn how to finger a girl. She has a balloon that needs blowing up to experience pleasure. 

AN OTHERWORLDLY EXPERIENCE

As you work on engorging her tissues, she’ll experience more profound pleasure if you massage and give her oral pleasure over a series of days in a row. You’ll even see her vulva blossom and plump up. This plumping makes intercourse a divine and otherworldly experience. Sometimes you can over-engorge her. 

If she feels too swollen, place firm hands on her mons and press to relieve the sensation. She can guide you with the duration and pressure of that grounding that she needs to push some of the blood back into her body when she gets over engorged. 

An essential part of a woman’s stimulation is stair-stepping her arousal up the ladder to take her higher, not over-stimulating too much and too fast. You need to learn how to finger a girl. She needs you to bring her up. Give her a little break; bring her up. 

HOW TO FINGER A GIRL

In this image, I show you what the anatomical parts of a woman’s vulva are. You will see this image repeated with different instructions so you’ll know your way around the female anatomy and how to finger a girl for maximum engorgement. When you focus on erectile tissue and where it is on a woman’s body so you can stimulate it, you get so much more pleasure together. If you’re a woman who plays with this tissue while masturbating, it is essential to use organic coconut oil and many sex toys to see what feels right to you. 

The clitoris is shaped like a little person. The clitoris is its head. The shaft is its neck, the crura are its arms, and the vestibular bulbs are its legs. The arms and legs surround and embrace the opening to the vagina. They can be found in the wells of the labial folds. 

ERECTILE TISSUE

The bulbs are directly under her pubic hair on each side of the vaginal opening, and you can play with the tissue and see what it likes. In addition to the clitoral structure, there are two erectile tissue masses. One is the urethral sponge called the g-spot. It’s not a spot; instead, it’s a long tube of erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra. The urethra is where her pee comes out from her bladder. Much of her female ejaculate comes out of the same urethral canal.

You can find that little exit hole above her vaginal opening and below her clitoris. This small hole has erectile tissue around it where it exits her body, and it likes to get rubbed. That’s why a tongue from the clitoris to the vaginal opening, which skims over the urethral exit, feels so good. This erectile tissue goes up inside her along the roof of the vaginal canal. 

Pressing down on her mons pubis above the pubic hair also pressurizes the erectile tube from the outside. The perineal sponge is another big chunk of very pleasurable, erectile tissue. It can be stimulated from the perineum where the labia come together. 

THE PERINEUM

For cleanliness reasons, smart women do not like their anus touched when getting their vaginal area stimulated. If you’re going to touch her anus to stimulate her perineal sponge, put on a tight-fitting polyurethane glove and use extra oil over the glove and her perineum. Turn the glove inside out when you take it off. Throw it away, and your hand will still be clean to massage her vulva.

With her permission, you could also slide a finger inside her anus and palpate up toward her vaginal canal when you have the glove on. It’s close to the entrance of her rectum. You don’t need to go far up inside. 

It’s very similar to the g-spot because it’s near the entrance to that orifice. When you’re done with the back door and focused on the vaginal area, with clean hands, you can go inside her vagina and press down on the floor toward her rectum and stimulate the perineal sponge from the lower vaginal wall. 

ASK FOR PERMISSION

This can come a long time after she’s warmed up and permitted you to enter her with the fingers or the tongue. Most women need an external warm-up before they want anything inside them. So always ask first.

You start from the outside and work your way in slowly. Here’s an image that shows you where to touch and stimulate the tissue instead of going straight for the clitoral glans or the tip. Start with the mons and outer labia. Use a fair amount of organic coconut oil and rub the mons until the tissue under the skin is jelly. You will feel stitches or stuck areas in the tissue. 

If you get that flesh under the skin to relax and loosen, it’ll aid her ability to recruit fluid into her urethral canal for ejaculatory orgasms. 

When you run your hands down from the mons to the outer labia, lift your hands, bring them back up to the mons and rub down again. Rubbing up against the grain of the pubic hair can be annoying. Focus on rubbing the tissue below the skin. 

THE OUTER LABIA

Focus on bringing blood to the outer labia and watch as they puff up. They’ll go from flaccid to plump like your erection. If you’re a guy, over time, incorporate the labia. Run your fingers in the channels between the inner and outer labia. The outer labia likes pressure. The vestibular bulbs are underneath the fur, and you can give the clitoral legs, also called the vestibular bulbs or outer labia, an erection. 

The inner labia likes a gentle touch. Some women have small lips or hardly any lips at all, while others have bigger lips. They’re all beautiful and wonderful—the bigger ones like a little rolling between oily fingers. Always ask for feedback if you’re the giver. If you’re masturbating yourself, you can try many stimulating touch techniques to see what feels good, but if you’re learning how to finger a girl, you need feedback from your partner.

PLEASURING YOURSELF

Every day, a woman likes something different because we are cyclical hormonal beings. Let your body guide your partner every time they touch your yoni. Learn how to finger a girl. You can start to tease the clitoris. Start at the hood and rub your clitoris through the hood. Think about giving yourself or your partner a clitoral erection. You want that clitoral shaft to stand up and pop out. Run your hands on the entire vulvar area so that blood enters the clitoral shaft and hood. Stroke the slick skin under the mons above the hood. That’ll help plump up the clitoral hood, shaft, and glans and give her a clitoral erection. 

Try very soft, well-lubricated strokes around the clitoris alternated with butterfly light swipes back and forth quickly across the clitoral glans with the tip of the clitoris. Then move on because variety is one of the hallmarks of orgasmic pleasure.

TOUCH FOR RAPTURE

The vaginal opening, called the introitus, is also full of nerve endings. Instead of rushing, take your time to pleasure the tissue around that opening. There are so many nerve endings around the entrance to a woman’s vagina, and if you’re the pleasure giver, slow down. Go half as fast in the moment. Feel what you’re touching. Don’t touch to get a reaction. Touch for the sheer joy of connecting. We call this ‘Touching For Rapture.’ 

When she starts moaning, you’re getting somewhere. Tell her not to move or do anything that isn’t naturally coming from within her animal body. Let her lie there completely still and feel the sensations because the more relaxed she is, the more her natural reactions will surface as she invites you to put your fingers inside her. You’ll want to play with that g-area. 

The outer third of the vaginal opening has a ton of nerve endings. The perineal sponge on the floor of her vaginal canal is full of erectile tissue.

A POOL NOODLE

Think of those extruded little pool noodles you played with. The G spot is a pool noodle of erectile tissue that surrounds her urethra. Her blood plasma recruits liquid from her body and drains it through the Skene’s gland into that urethra. She squirts, sprinkles, and leaks it out when she ejaculates. That noodle is erectile tissue, and you can stimulate it up inside from the outside and around the exit with your fingers, tongue, and toys. 

Watch my video series with the adorable Serena Martinez on g-spot and squirting toys and get my free report called G-Spot and Squirting Toys, Tools, and Lube Guide.

I love the G-spot Wand because it pleases the noodle inside the vaginal canal. I have both budget and luxury options. They are lovely because sponges like pressure and the wands and toys give an excellent, consistent pressure. The clitoral legs like pressure. The clitoris itself often gets more orgasmic with lighter pressure. However, the g-spot likes heavy pressure, while the clitoris usually likes it lighter. 

Some women like a heavy pressure on their clitoris, but only because they haven’t had a lover who knew how to finger a girl and give them a broad stimulation of all the erectile tissue. They rely on heavy clitoral pressure because they’re not engorged. Everywhere else, when the lightest of touch feels being meltingly stimulating, you can start to have expanded orgasms. 

“I CAN COME FOR AN HOUR”

We teach Expand Her Orgasm Tonight. I can come for over an hour with the lightest of touches on my clitoris because I learned how to do it, and Sir Tim learned how to finger a girl. There’s so much you can learn about being a great lover if you’ve made it this far. I am very proud of you, and I’m sure you’ll have questions. I’ll see you on the other side. Let me see if I can swing!

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Comment (5)

  1. Hi Susan!! What a great lesson- fingering, etc. My poor pea brain just blew up!! heheh Will have to watch it several times. Thanks- Terrell

  2. Hi, Susan, there is so much here that I never knew and I hope that it is not too late to use as I am 85 but since it is not easy for me to get it up this may be my answer. Thank you.

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