Mark Bell’s Power Project Appearance All About Great Sex with Susan Bratton
Join Susan Bratton as she talks about great sex on Mark Bell’s Power Project podcast. Learn the nuances and the ins and outs of what makes good sex great.
All About Great Sex with Susan Bratton
“I have a technique I brought you guys. It’s called Thrust in Time.”
“Full disclosure. I tried it last night, and it worked. Let’s go!”
“So that when you finally enter her, she’s sucking your penis in.
Can you talk to us about some of the types of female orgasms we are unaware of? There’s 20, right?”
“We share 20 orgasms.”
“My body will explode if that happens.”
“I try to tell women that guys need to masturbate every day. You’ve got scorching stuff inside you that’s ready to come out. And not just your penis because she can orgasm and orgasm.”
“You mentioned that all women can squirt. How?”
“Your dick and balls go through here, and when you come inside us, we’re all *slurp* You want a veiny, bulgy dick. When a woman sees a veiny, bulgy dick, she’s like, AH! That looks good!”
You said you got into working out. Yes, I am in love with working out. Are you lifting? I do a variety of things like basic mountain climbers and push-ups.
I recently did the Empire State building’s worth of stairs in a day. How many steps is that? It’s 73 floors, like 1600 stairs or something. Do you do it all at once, or do you keep coming up and down?
I didn’t have an Empire State building, so I had to go up and down, which is more complicated than straight up. I have discovered ball slams. Today we’re going to talk about not the bang. Everything’s a double entendre: ball slams and ropes and those things.
I’ve been enjoying and learning. I saw the mace and the Indian and was very intrigued with the fluidity. It’s like a dance. I worked on my flexibility, strength, stamina, and balance, which got messed up from COVID. So when I started working out with a trainer, that was what I worked on. Then I realized my flexibility is good, so I wanted to swap it out.
We talked about the sex technique Glissando, and you need fluidity to do it. You have to move. Otherwise, it isn’t going to work. Let’s explain to people what Glissando is because they’re probably wondering.
I told the guys that I have been doing a series called Making Whoopie 3.0, advanced intercourse techniques for lovers. What if we haven’t made it through 1.0? We’re still working on one. The thing about guys is you already think you are perfect. If I said 1.0, you’d be, “I don’t need that. I am way beyond. Give me the pro expert.” So I have to call it 3.0, or you won’t even pay attention to it.
Glissando is a lovemaking technique where you flip the script on how you do it. Most men approach intercourse as “I have a penis, and I’m going to thrust it inside her.” They’re doing this movement, and a 2.0 would be, “Okay, I’m going for the angle.” Then, 3.0 is Glissando, which is a Doggystyle move. So she’s bent over in front of you, and you’re holding her hips and moving her onto you, so she’s the one moving.
I take a lot of hyaluronic acids, so I’ve got superfluid joints. I’m smooth, and it feels super good if you both are smooth and you’re being pulled on and off his penis. Then if you set up a rocking motion where you do rock and a variety of deep, shallow, slow, fast strokes, the nervous system likes variety. That increases orgasmic intensity, so instead of thrusting, you’re holding still and moving her body on you.
It puts the ball in her court because you control the rhythm, and she’s surrendered to your rhythm. You’re moving her. She’s surrendering.
How did all this start for you? I heard a bit of the story, but for our listeners, it would be good for them to get the story.
Susan: About 11 years into our marriage, My husband and I stopped having sex. I had stopped wanting to have sex with him because I had never had an orgasm from intercourse. I fell out of love with intercourse, and it became a chore. Instead, I was giving him mercy sex.
Wait, the whole time you were married, you didn’t have an orgasm?
Susan: Until that point, I had orgasms from my vibrator and clitoral stroking but never from the penis in vagina sex. So I fell out of love with it. It was great for him. They call that the orgasm gap, the difference between how easy it is for guys to climax and how hard it is for women. The number one issue for guys is usually premature ejaculation. I’m coming faster than I want to, but I can’t quite get there for women, so we’re at odds where we’re set up to fail somehow. But I have a technique I brought you guys called Thrust In Time. We should bring that up.
Full disclosure: I tried it last night, and it worked! Hey, let’s go!
I don’t even know how to do it. I read a bunch of the stuff you sent, and it was happening. I’m like, “Wait, let me try that one thing. I don’t think she quite caught on board that I was counting in my head.”
Why didn’t you send me this stuff?
Because I’m selfish, I have to one-up you somewhere.
My husband and I were like, “What do we need to do because we need to fix this problem.” We went to a therapist. My husband’s like, “I want to have hot sex with my wife.” We decided to take sex workshops because we live in the Bay Area and have this available. So we went to sex workshops, and we were, “This is fantastic!” We started having incredible sex. I began having orgasms, and we learned about female ejaculation.
I started having great sex with my husband. At the time, he was the inventor of Rhapsody, the first online music service, and I was with At Home Network, the company that invented the cable modem. We were in Silicon Valley. Everything looked great on the outside.
That’s crazy. He invented all-you-can-eat streaming music. He’s the guy that created it.
Congratulations to you both! So this was when you weren’t having sex with him? You have to do something with his energy.
He begged for sex and tried to figure out how to get me to have sex. I felt so bad for him. I came clean. It wasn’t good for me and was good for him. What were we going to do about it? We got honest because we realized that we had not been talking about it.
We went to these sex workshops and started with the most simple information and having great sex. He had finished selling off Rhapsody, and I was out of At Home Network, the cable modem company. We’re like, “What should we do?” Let’s start a company together because we fell in love again because we had such great sex.
We said let’s dig digitally to deliver online programs that teach people how to have great sex from the privacy of their bedroom. Most people won’t get naked and go into a group and learn how to have sex.
It’s pretty edgy, but you can do it from your home, and it’s a learnable skill. We can figure out how to make a baby, Tab A into Slot B.
I told you when we were starting that I like to transform having sex into making love. Sex techniques and orgasms are learned skills.
I’m always looking for new ones, but there are 20 orgasms our bodies can have. Your bodies are masculine and feminine. We have all the same parts arranged in different order. There’s one difference between the orgasms a woman and a man can have. There are only two sexes. There’s xx and XY, but there are tons of gender expressions. So if you have an xx versus an XY chromosome, you either have a prostate and a penis or a g-spot in the vulva, but they’re the same things. They work the same way and have the same orgasms.
Guys usually think I have a climax, and that’s my orgasm, but that’s two separate systems. You don’t have to ejaculate. Instead, you can have full-body male multiple orgasms as much as you want. You need to learn how to do it.
I teach people orgasm techniques, lovemaking, and communication and deal with common issues that people need to overcome, like coming too fast or not being able to come. I teach them techniques that bridge that gap.
What was the first step when you came out of these classes? Did you go and implement it right away, or was it more? Because I heard you talk about doing something together but not even having intercourse which is interesting because anything can happen rather than getting to it.
Intercourse is a big ask for women because our masculine partners have more endogenous testosterone than we do. You’re testosterone-dominant, and we’re estrogen-dominant. Estrogen is the joker of hormones because it gets us in our heads instead of our bodies. It worries about everything. We’re such good multitaskers because estrogen makes us pay attention to a million things at one time. Dudes say, “Don’t bother me. I’m concentrating on this thing right now,” which is fantastic, but you wake up horny every day. You’re like, “Let’s do it.”
Women are like, “I’m not so sure. Could you rub my feet first?” We need to warm up. Make love without the expectations of intercourse. Get together, hold, kiss, stroke, and love each other, and things will evolve.
It works. You get more intercourse when you take the focus off it. You’re already playing the end game, offering us intercourse when we’re not even on the field. That was a sports analogy, but I’m not sure it makes sense.
You mentioned not being able to have orgasms during intercourse. What was the key to getting over and working it out for you and your husband?
Susan: We learned a practice called Expanded Orgasm and had it for 20 years. Have you heard the word yoni? Tantric lovemaking, a spiritual heart-connected conscious lovemaking, is the other end of the spectrum from friction and porn. We, sexperts, call it a vulva and not a vagina because the vagina is just the channel that the baby comes out of. The vulva has all the delicious parts. This whole thing is the vulva and that little spot in the vagina. We call it the vulva because we want you to touch the entire thing, the mons venus, the clitoral hood, the clitoris itself, the outer and inner labia. The fourchette is where the labia come together at the bottom of the perineum.
What’s interesting is if I take the skin off the vulva, this is what’s underneath. This is our penis wrapped around our vaginal opening. All these are erectile tissue chambers. That’s the tip of the clitoris. This is the shaft. We get a clitoral erection if you give us enough stimulation. These are the arms and legs. This is the g spot, but it’s a long tube. There’s a sponge down here called the perineal sponge. The vagina itself is wholly embraced and wrapped with three erectile systems. In your penis, you have three erectile systems, just like we do.
You have the corpus spongiosum and cavernosum in your penis, and they fill up fast with blood. They get pumped quickly because all the blood runs down into your penis as soon as you get turned on. For us, it’s like an English muffin. You get an English muffin out of the refrigerator, open it, slice it, stick it in the toaster and warm it up. Then you get the butter which is cold and hard. You have to smoosh it on there, and it melts into all those nooks and crannies. That’s our blood flow. As a woman, we’re English muffins.
These nooks and crannies need blood. Then we butter it up. That’s one of the big problems.
A guy emailed me and said, “I used your technique, and it worked well.” I asked him which technique it was because I’ve written thousands of courses. He goes, “The one to slow down. She came better, harder, and faster because I slowed down.” I’m like, “That’s exactly right because you’re already ahead of us.” The battle’s already been won, and we got war paint on!
The trick for my husband and me was a yoni massage. Yoni is the vulva, and the lingam is the penis. Those are the Tantric lovemaking words for the genitals, yoni, and lingam. Giving a woman a yoni massage and doing specific strokes on her clitoris allows her. Most women either over-stimulate their clitoris or stimulate only the tip. They get erect too fast or don’t even get erect. They just have an orgasm, and they’re done. They’re sensitive and don’t want to do it anymore.
Expanded orgasm does allow a woman to get a good base of blood-engorged in the tissue of her yoni so that everything plumps and puffs up so that when you finally enter her, she’s sucking your penis in.
Her yoni’s all like, “Give it to me now!” That’s what you want to get her to do. For premature ejaculation, if you stroke his penis for a while, lay in a base, and don’t let him get overly excited but slow everything down, it helps him slow down too. Most premature ejaculation is performance anxiety, and men are as sensitive as women. They need that heart connection.
That’s how we got going. We did the Expanded Orgasm Practice, where I started coming using his hands and fingers. When I was fully engorged, he would enter me, and I could achieve orgasm. For me, it was that hands-on. If it’s small and flaccid, it won’t feel as good as when it’s big, plump, and full of blood.
There’s more surface area. You send more pleasure signals to the brain so that orgasm is easier to achieve.
Look at your penis as a tool to use later when she’s ready for you. Get her warmed up and let her catch up to you. There’s an absolute joy in having your woman lying there coming for you with your hands, tongue, and toys and not just your penis because she can orgasm and orgasm.
I’ve heard you talk about the different types of orgasms, and that’s the first time I heard you. I heard you on this podcast, and you mentioned throatgasm, and I was like, “Excuse me?”
Can you talk to us about the different types of female orgasms we are unaware of? There are 20 female orgasms.
My body will explode if that happens.
Susan: That’s the idea. You’ve got your elementary system, mouth, and throat if you think about your body. Then you have your yoni, rectum, and penis. You’re an outie, and I’m an innie, but we have the same equipment. You’re just external, and I’m internal. All that is attached. The Taoists often call it the ‘hollow flute’ where you send energy up and down your whole body. All that is connected.
You’ve heard of your body’s chakra system of different energy points. You also have orgasmic energy points up and down your body. You can have clitoral, vaginal, belly, and anal orgasms, core orgasms from the squeezed rectus abdominis, and orgasms from your stomach being pleasured. Men and women can have nipples and breast orgasms. Men are equally orgasmic with their nipples. They are socially conditioned to think that their nipples aren’t orgasmic, just like they believe ejaculation and orgasm are the same things.
Did you guys give or get hickeys when you were in high school? I wasn’t cool enough in high school, but I got a little in college.
Do you remember giving or getting them and how good it felt to have your necks sucked on? It was scorching, and you were all like, “Don’t let my mom see!” Your neck is very orgasmic because of erectile tissue in your neck, nose, mouth, lips, tongue, and throat.
The star of deep throat, Linda Lovelace, could orgasm from going down on guys. She was right. You can have orgasms from having your throat stimulated. You can gain control of both ends of the tube. They’re connected. You can squeeze your vaginal muscles, called pompois. You can squeeze your throat muscles and give yourself orgasms. One pleasant experience for a woman is to have simultaneous throat and vaginal stimulation to have orgasms that run up and down her entire body.
How does somebody get it? Because it sounds great that you guys were both willing to go to these classes. How does somebody get a partner to loosen up? What are good strategies for that?
Unfortunately, you have to communicate it, and that’s always the most challenging part because people feel ashamed of their desire. They’re afraid to talk about it. We don’t talk about sex alone.
Were you afraid of talking about those things? I had much to lose because I’ve been with Tim for 30 years, and this was a little over ten years into our relationship. I always felt I could replace him, but I could never do better, and I didn’t want to lose him and break up our family.
That’s why we got radically honest with each other. I said to him, “When you put your penis inside me, it takes my energy down.” It was hard for him to hear those things. It was just as hard for me to say them. But if you don’t know what the reality is, how will you deal? One of the things I have to say about my husband is he is so strong. He’s the softest, sweetest guy.
You must share what was on your mind. For the masculine, you guys are raised with things that hurt you in our culture. One is around masculinity. You are either the prey or the predator, on the top or the bottom. You have a very hierarchical masculine frame.
Women are more socialized to be team-oriented, so it’s hard when you hear something negative. You take it as criticism, and you just went down a rung instead of, “I’ll do it better.” I’m lucky that my husband didn’t take it down a rung. He was like, “I’d rather know. One of his top relationship values is honesty. He’s like, “I can’t know what I’m dealing with if I don’t know the truth so just tell me the truth.”
For him, it was okay. “It’s taking you down. Let’s figure out how to take it up. What do we need to do? We need to learn how to have sex.” So I was fortunate that he was willing to hear what I needed to say, and he always has been. It’s been good to have that real honest relationship.
He can take it in without getting crushed. When you can say anything to your man, it creates a safety and security level that women need. It’s not safe to walk like a woman, so we need our male-body partners to take care of us and provide safety for us.
One of the only reasons I can jiggle my boobies around looking so hot and being crazy and saying all this stuff is because my man will make sure nobody screws with me. I am safe and protected. I couldn’t be a single woman doing what I do because it would be too dangerous.
He provides a level of security for me: the wind beneath my wings and the platform on which I soar. He runs the tech and finance of our company but has always encouraged me to be as sexy, bold, and courageous as possible.
When you have a problem, you have to be willing. Dr. Terry Reel calls it fierce intimacy, while Brad Blanton calls it radical honesty. I’m doing you a disservice if I don’t tell you the truth. You need to know everything to handle whatever’s happening with us and be willing to express your needs.
Sometimes it can be helpful to have a therapist, and sometimes couples can figure it out themselves. The first thing to do is talk about what you want, what you’re getting that you like, and not getting without feeling ashamed. We are ashamed of our sexuality and desires in our society.
Susan, I’m curious about this, and we’ve talked about it on the podcast before. I don’t want to derail anything, but people show different beneficial things in your video courses. My first visualization of sex was porn when I was young.
Many guys know how porn is set up. The sex is very goal-driven. When you see this is what sex is like, you try to do it with a woman, and it doesn’t always end correctly. I’m curious about your views on pornography and how it’s affected how people look at sex. Is it beneficial or damaging?
Susan: I’d say it’s damaging. Time Magazine recently did a research study on 350 random samples of pornography. Ninety-six of them showed that it was a degrading scene about women. This is the woman you love with who you want to have a partnership and is your better half, someone you want to have massive sexual pleasure with. So to take your cues from porn is not the best thing.
I tell women, “Look, guys need to masturbate every day. They’ve got that bath of testosterone. They don’t need to or have to but want to. Guys like to masturbate every day. Medically, people have talked about how it’s healthy to masturbate at least probably once a week.
You have to clean out the pipes and keep your semen fresh because you never know when you will be called on. You guys are biologically wired to be ready to go. Your dick gets hard so fast because, “Baby, I need you now. I’m right here and ready to go.”
That’s what’s so beautiful about men, which is a double-edged sword. The other side of the coin is you have to come back and get us because you’re way ahead. Pornography is there for you to masturbate. It’s your masculine fantasy experience, but it has no relationship with how you connect with your lover of any gender expression or physical body. You have to categorize those things.
This is my masturbatory scenario, and my lovemaking needs come from within me. It needs to be embodied, heart-connected, honoring, respectful, and turned on, things that porn isn’t spending time showcasing. It won’t get you where you need to go if you fast forward.
What about getting inspiration from porn? Whether they are new techniques or something like that. I always say that I got this from Tony Robbins. I started a startup with Tony Robbins about 15 years ago. One of the things Tony teaches is a phrase that says, “All you need is within you.”
I love that phrase. You don’t need an external thing, especially a billion-dollar media business that preys on your daily need to have an ejaculation. What you need is inside you. Feel your body and desire. Think about your fantasies and let them come out, and have your partner feel safe to let that come out from them. So, I don’t have to fantasize about a stepmom necessarily.
We’ve got a little fantasy going. Many men have messaged us. There are people that, because of different porn and so much novelty, some dudes and I, for a period when I was younger, have a slight porn-induced erectile dysfunction. I was with one woman, but sometimes I didn’t get turned on enough because I watched this new novelty porn with different women.
It’s been beneficial for the person and me, but it’s tough because that’s where many millennials learn about sex.
You’ve got hot stuff inside you that’s ready to come out. Since we’re talking about erectile dysfunction and we did mention premature ejaculation, what are some things men can do so that they don’t have premature ejaculation and can last longer. You see many different ads for different supplements saying they will last longer and blah blah, but what are things that work and help us last longer and not come too fast.
Susan: I say 95% of premature ejaculation is not specifically physical. There’s nothing wrong with your dick. About 5 percent is. One of the exciting things guys are trying now is botox on the glands and head of the penis. It does a little nerve block so that you’re not so sensitive. I would never do that anymore. We don’t need to wait. They put a couple of tiny spots of botox around the corona. It doesn’t matter if you’re circumcised or uncircumcised.
Most premature ejaculation is performance anxiety, and guys struggle with self-esteem, confidence issues, anger, and victimhood. Part of the reason is that men aren’t given the freedom to have a variety of emotions growing up.
“Suck it up. Don’t be a baby. Don’t cry.” They don’t have a full range of emotional expression, and they’re stunted because they feel they have to be always in their masculinity. If something happens, they say, “It wasn’t fair.”
They get nervous because they feel, “If I screw it up, I’ll go down the pecking order.” So they put performance anxiety on themselves to do it perfectly and get up in their head. When you have performance anxiety, the best technique is to stop worrying about the past or catastrophizing the future. When you stay in the moment and slow down, you feel sensation, have a heart connection with your partner and stop worrying. You feel your pleasure, and she has more fun.
I have a program with a wonderful man named Jim Benson. He has a beautiful analogy. It’s the Tuning Fork. When you have two tuning forks, you hit one, and it vibrates, and you hold up the next one, and it starts to shake. That’s what you and your lover are. You are tuning forks. If you’re not shaking with turn-on, you’re expecting your lover to do the turning on, and then you’re getting off on that. Then, you’re doing these things to her. You’re pushing her buttons and spinning her knobs and up in your head, making her have an orgasm. She’s all like, “Now I have performance anxiety.”
Instead of you showing your desire, “This feels good.” You’re moaning, making noise, and getting turned on. You’re moving your body. She will start vibrating and getting turned on. The more you can feel and show your pleasure. It helps you last longer. Lay a good solid base with a nice lingam massage. Make out and calm your nervous system.
The other thing is this Thrust In Time technique we talked about with Andrew. I want to hear how it went. I’ve never tried anything, so that works. Keep doing that.
The teasing started with short strokes. Then the All-in stroke was like, “Hey.” It keeps going, and you keep building on top of that.
Deeper and harder. That’s the whole program. It’s a free download at thrustintime.com. So it’s easy peasy. I took a 2000-year-old Taoist technique and updated it for the modern lover. This counting technique solves the two biggest problems that people have in bed.
He comes too fast. She can’t quite get there, thinking of a 10-count stroke. You start with nine shallow strokes inside her and one deep stroke. Then you do eight shallow strokes and two deep strokes. You’re counting in your head. So it’s preoccupying you a bit. I only say to be preoccupied till you get over your performance anxiety so that you don’t have premature ejaculation.
I don’t want you to be in your head all the time. This is an on-ramp type thing when you get to four or five deep strokes. How many deep strokes did you get to?
Andrew, I’ll be honest. I got halfway there, and I couldn’t control it anymore. It was all deep after that, which was fantastic. I got too anxious. That’s what it’s for to cut down on that anxiousness, but when you get to four or five deep strokes, she’s guaranteed to have an orgasm even if she’s never orgasmed during intercourse before.
Talking about toggling the body, the nervous system likes variety and the sympathetic-parasympathetic. It needs that change. The thrust in time works, and there’s more detail in the book. It’s a straightforward technique, and it is great because she’ll start coming from intercourse, and you won’t come too fast.
There’s always a supplement. Did I get a box of accessories that came here? It’s going to show up later. I work with Dr. Judson Brandeis, a board-certified urologist, who created a good supplement for premature ejaculation called pre-long. It has several things in it, but mostly it has Saint John’s wort in it. It is the leading botanical in Europe.
It’s the Xanax of Europe, a natural botanical that Europeans take because they don’t take a bunch of pharmaceuticals as we Americans do.
It calms you down, and it’s a mood lifter. So I am selling it to everybody. There is a little citrulline, which is my favorite for the pump. You should take it when you’re pumping and for erectile function.
Citrulline is suitable for anybody over 40. Staying on the same topic, adding some toys into the mix might help because at least you got something else to fall back on if something did go off too quickly.
How do people get into communicating with their partners and trying these things? What do you recommend?
Susan: The first thing I will do is give a woman a vibrator. Give her space to masturbate and have her lean against you and play with her breasts and nipples while she uses her vibrator. Even start sex like that. Let her get a few vibrator orgasms under her belt because when you stimulate a woman’s nipples, it enables her whole clitoral erectile structure. It brings the blood in.
I call that an everted erection for women, from the inside out. You get her engorged inside by not even rubbing anything on the outside. You’re playing with her nipples, she’s got her vibrator, and she’s got a hard-on from the stimulation. She’s got a good base.
I like penis rings for couples play, and I brought two to show you. This one is the NOS from Fun Factory, and I love how it stretches. This goes at the base of the shaft. I like that it has two little vibrating ears that go on her. You put it straight down, get her on top, and let her grind on you. Empower her to get good at cowgirl riding because she can give herself orgasms from your penis and have incremental orgasms from the vibrator.
What’s nice is that if you’re having intercourse and not wearing this, she can still sneak this between you and stimulate her clitoris while you’re penetrating her, and she can drive with this. It is low profile and fits in, so this is my number one recommendation.
This next one is called the Adam Lux, a ring vibe. It is unusual because it has two motors. Your dick and balls go through here. You start flaccid and stretch it. You can be as big or small as you need to. All your junk’s hanging, and you get an erection. It has a remote control and two vibrators. This one has a perineal vibrator. Don’t hit that button. I’m wearing one right now.
It feels good. I like them because I turned them on. It has three speeds. This fits in your purse.
That one’s not so good for premature ejaculators because they will get too much stimulation. Still, if you don’t have that problem (three-quarters of guys don’t have that problem), this one is nice because you get perineal stimulation. You get prostate pleasuring and ball tickling.
If you love a ball tickle, this one’s for you. That’s a strong vibe, so girls need a strong vibe. This one’s good, too. I think this is the first line of defense for a toy chest. Encourage your partner to have many vibrators like a g-spot vibe or wand. A womanizer is like an air simulator. It suckles her clitoris. Years ago, you used to walk into a store. Now you can get stuff online.
Where do people pick up this stuff?
I like Fun Factory. That’s one of my best brands. Hot Octopus, who makes this one, Mystery Vibe. They make a couple of excellent products. The tenuto and the crescendo. A few good ones are Womanizer and WeVibe. They’re a joint brand. Those top brands make friendly products that you can’t go wrong with. They have quality materials. Don’t buy on Amazon because they’re full of phthalates, plasticizers, and terrible things that leach into your skin, are endocrine disruptors, and wreck your hormones.
That’s the last thing you need on a sex toy. Just go shopping with your lady and see what she wants and have her try a bunch of stuff. I don’t want to derail things too far away from what we have on the table.
What are regular habits that might be attractive for people to practice? What are some things you have viewed that are not in the bedroom? Have I heard you talking about teasing and flirting? What are other things we can do that aren’t just in the bedroom?
Susan: Maybe touching each other a lot. Pet, stroke, and hold each other. Kiss outside the bedroom. The physical demonstrative pleasure that is not necessarily I’m trying to get sex. I love the feel of you. You’re beautiful too. My wife and I touch each other all the time. I grab her butt. She holds my butt. We hug each other.
Be conscious of creating romantic moments together. Let’s make sure we carve romantic moments together. Let’s look for opportunities to connect. Verbally appreciate her. She wants to be equally adored and found sexually irresistible. “Baby, your ass looks great in those jeans, and your turkey meatloaf is so good.” If you always objectify her, she will feel like a piece of meat.
If you never objectify her, she’ll be like, “What? You don’t like me anymore?” Deliver both things. You want her to know you’re doing a great job and respect it.
Wins are what you want. Make sure she acknowledges all the incredible things you do for her and spot at the moment. “Baby, thank you!” That’s the most important thing. What can a guy do? He compliments her and talks about how sexy she looks. She’s like, “You’re supposed to say that. You’re my husband.
You have to give a woman specifics because she can’t refute or negate them. You can’t say, “Your ass looks great.” You have to say, “Your ass looks great because I like how you made your butt last year. It was a little flatter, and suddenly, that butt was popping, mama. It looks so good, and I want to get my hand on there and grab it. You’re so sexy.”
It’s more specific. What can we do to get better engorgement? Can we do more to give a better head? Are there any things we can do with our hands?
It’s challenging to figure out exactly where to touch. You don’t know what’s good and what’s not. Communication can help. What are some things we can do tonight?
Susan: The first would be to hold her so that she feels connected to you and relaxes. You have to get her in her body if she’s in her head. You are the base and the masculine. Pick her up, calm her down and pet her.
“I know, baby. Let me hold you a little closer.” You’re thinking about bringing her nervous system out. You want to squeeze her.
You’re thinking, “How do I get my dick sucked? How do I get my dick up? How do I go from petting to something different?” You do that when you squeeze her. Her emotions can let go so she can relax. You have children. When your wife breastfeeds, she sits in the chair and rests for the milk to flow. It’s the same for her.
She can’t go until she’s relaxed. Arousal begins in relaxation, and that’s hard for you guys because you’re already way ahead. You’re ready to go. You have to go back to kindergarten to get her super turned on. Otherwise, you’re short-circuiting her, arousing her orgasmic potential.
She won’t live fully into that. She won’t get super turned on. We want you for sex all the time. Calm her down. Get her in her body. Kiss her face and eyelids.
One guy wrote to me, “I started kissing her eyelids, and now she walks up to me and holds her eyelids. She’s like, “Kiss my eyelids.”
We like that stuff. It turns us on. We’d love to be with you because you treat us so sweetly. When you do that, and she lets down, her spit starts to run. Her yoni gets juicy. Suddenly, she’s like, “You’re looking good.”
You can stroke her body and grab her butt and boobs. Don’t go right for her nipples because you want to think about her as a bullseye.
Start with the outer rings and work your way in. You’re not used to that.
All that pays off because she’s super turned on and wants you. She’s on top, making out with you, and ready to go. Stroke her yoni. Start on the outside with the mons, the outer labia.
Get warm coconut, avocado, or sweet almond oil. Stroke her yoni. You want her to want more. You’re getting her to say, “Touch my pussy. Touch my head. Go in and start a petite fingering.
Add a vibrator while you’re fingering her. She’s got a vibe on her, and she’s starting to have orgasms. Play with her nipples and put your cock in her hand. She’s like, “This feels good. I wonder what we could do with this?” It’s about making sure she has opportunities to pleasure you as you’re pleasuring her. Get that blood flow in.
I heard you talk about scheduling which I found interesting. What’s that about?
Susan: I like to call them erotic playdates. If you say, “Let’s schedule sex,” she’ll say, “All you want is intercourse.” She’s not there yet, so you say, “I want to practice yoni massage and give you a sensual massage. Let’s roleplay. I bought you laundry, and I want you to do a fashion show for me. I want you to dance for me, or I have a new sex position, but I’m not going to show it until I give you three orgasms from my fingers. Let’s try female ejaculation. I’m going to try new fingering techniques on you. I just got this new Womanizer with the g-spot piece, and it will be incredible. I will give you g-spot stimulation. I’ll strap you to the wedge and give you pleasure. I’m going to blindfold you.”
Give her a few ideas of what you might practice and learn together. When you do new things, it’s not just about getting your rocks off on her. It’s about having a fun couple’s experience. The more fun things you can think of and offer, she’ll be like, “I don’t like that, but that one’s interesting. I didn’t like any of those, but here’s what I want: that’s even better.”
Get her to think of things she’d like to try with your power project. Sleep is one of the biggest things you need for muscle gain and fat loss. I can’t satisfy your cravings. You need good quality sleep, and that’s why we are super-pumped to partner with a fantastic sponsor, Eight Sleep, a mattress company with the Pod Pro.
This cover regulates the temperature of the mattress so you can sleep. They’ve shown that people who sleep on the Eight Sleep mattresses fall asleep 32 faster. We over here at the power project are hot sleepers and what I mean is that we sweat. We often have our old mattresses woken up in a puddle of our liquids.
Let me tell you that this has not once happened in this Eight Sleep mattress because it keeps you cool while you sleep, which helps you get better quality sleep. Andrew, tell them more about it.
Absolutely. Another thing is if you sleep with a partner and they don’t run as hot as you, you have dual temperature zones. I can set mine extremely cold. My wife can set hers not as cold, and that in and of itself is so helpful. Again, when you sleep with a partner, you both wake up extremely happy. You must head over to eightsleep.com/powerproject. You will receive a hundred and fifty dollars off your Pod Pro mattresses. Links to them are in the description and the podcast show notes. Head over there right now.
I heard you mention all women can squirt. Can you talk to somebody? I have a squirting picture.
Remember when I showed you the three erectile tissues of the clitoral area? There’s the clitoris itself and the g-spot called the urethral sponge. This is the urethral and perineal sponge. This tube looks like this. It’s so spongy. It looks like a pool noodle, and it wraps around her urethra, which is her pee tube from her bladder.
That’s her clitoris, the exit of her urine, and ejaculate. That’s her vaginal opening. That rosebud is around here, and it goes inside the vaginal canal along the top. These green things are Skene’s glands. The vagina doesn’t have any glands in it. It’s not self-lubricating.
We need blood flow to our pelvic bowls so that the blood plasma can seep through our vaginal tissue and wet us and lubricate it. It does the same thing in the urethra. It comes down through the Skene’s glands and empties into the p-tube of the urethra. When she has a contraction, it outcomes the fluid. Like you ejaculate and urinate out of your penis, she does the same out of her urethra. Our urethra is an innie. Yours is an outie. It’s the same pee tube. All women can ejaculate. It’s not pee.
Women like to ejaculate when they are relaxed and trust their partners. Have a lot of stimulation of the spongy tube. Combine it with clitoral stimulation. The combination is called a blended orgasm. That’s the same as when you combine prostate with penile stimulation. You can stimulate your prostate from the outside in from your perineal area. What’s great about this particular Atom Plus Lux is that it stimulates the perineum from the outside.
You can also go into your rectum and stimulate the prostate with toys or fingers. Let’s talk more about this stuff on the table. What are those things you pointed out? I brought three prostate stimulators with me. This one is basic, and it looks exactly like a g-spot wand.
The g-spot is inside the vagina, and it likes firm pressure. The prostate is inside your rectum and likes strong pressure. It’s a little walnut.
Let me show you where it is. Here’s your urogenital complex. There’s your penis. This is your prostate and your bladder. The tube runs down through your prostate and your penis, and there are balls. Here’s where you would access it inside toward your abdomen.
This is the suspensory ligament. We stretch this out with the Whopper when discussing penis pumps and penis enlargement.
It gives you more length and not just girth. This is the small ligament you’re tugging on when you pump for size. The dick-lifter, the ligament that gives you that erection, a stretchy ligament you can pull on, and it’ll drop, and you get more length to your penis and girth.
I like these simple prostate tools. When it’s a vibrator, you can quickly get this in. It’s a hook that goes in. It’s like a finger or a candy cane. I like this one because it’s softer and bendier. It’s wired, and your partner could insert it inside you. Then they could operate it while making love to you and give you blended orgasms. You could lie there and have full-body orgasms without ejaculating to come repeatedly. You can learn orgasms where instead of shooting the energy out, you’re bringing that energy back in and letting it run through your body.
You’re having full-body orgasms. When you mentioned ED before, I looked up Kegels for men. I’ve found that strengthening the pelvic floor was helpful. What are some techniques for men outside of sex that can help them maintain their pelvic floor because isn’t that a way that you can stop yourself from ejaculating?
The technique that we teach is called the ME Breath, and it helps you. There’s a combination of things you do together to hold back your urge to ejaculate.
Most guys ejaculate faster than they want to. They want to learn not to have to do that and have orgasms. The ME Breath is three things together. It’s similar to a golf swing or learning to drive a car. It squeezes the PC muscle, the pubococcygeus muscle, the kegels. Tighten your butt right now. That’s a squeeze. One of the most significant issues for guys is to stop breathing. The tenser you are, the more you ejaculate.
The breathing and the pelvic rocking… Many guys are super stiff in their pelvis. They need movement in their pelvis. When a man learns the Elvis movement or what have you, and they’re loose, they’re breathing and know how to squeeze and contract that muscle.
They can keep everything, slow it down, take that turn on and bring it up into their body. So it’s that combination of things. You practice that during masturbation. When you’re making love and rocking your pelvis, you can do the squeeze and breathe. You can keep going without ejaculating, and soon you can bring that turn-on up and into your body and have these incredible orgasms that don’t require you to ejaculate and make it all end. That’s the concept.
This is the Phoenix. I call it the dick-lifter. What does that do?
Here’s what happens. It’s an excellent design, and it didn’t hurt at all when you touched it. It’s an acoustic wave device. Sometimes, they’re called shock waves. This was developed for getting rid of kidney stones. What happens with your penis is that you get plaque in your vascular system. The first place it clogs up is your penis. You don’t get the blood flow.
The most common kind of erectile dysfunction is called a venous leak. Your dick has three chambers. The blood shoots down and swells and locks the blood in. The smooth muscle tissue inside your blood vessels is called your endothelial system, which can be covered with plaque.
Essentially, you have bacteria in your mouth that go into your bloodstream. When you eat fats, it sticks to the blood vessels and calcifies. The muscle tissue gets stiff, and it can’t lock off anymore, so you could get hard, but you can’t stay hard. You get floppy and can’t get enough blood flow to stay in.
There are also issues like nerve damage from diabetes, but plaque in the vascular system is the most common. This dick-lifter knocks the plaque off the vascular system.
It micro-damaged penile tissue. Then your growth factors and cytokines call your body to repair. It builds new nerve tissue because we’ve talked about premature ejaculation. For older men, delayed ejaculation and difficulty achieving climax are issues. Sensitivity loss – I can’t get there. There’s nerve damage over time, and the acoustic waves are loud.
They sound like a hammer, but they don’t hurt. They send in acoustic waves that knock off the plaque and do that hormesis. Your body repairs it, and you get more blood flow again and the ability to have new tissue, a new sensation, and rebuild.
You can go to a place and get a GAINSwave series of treatments. That’s where you go to the doctor and have the big 50,000 machines. But some guys just do it for me, and others are like, nobody’s touching my dick. I’m doing it myself. I need a tool for that.
Some people live in a place where there are no GAINSwave doctors. You can either do it yourself or get it done for you. It’s either one of those.
Both work. I also like to add a citrulline supplement, not arginine. Both create nitric oxide, but I like the citrulline better for men over 40. That’s what the reports say. Arginine can exacerbate herpes. Many bodybuilders use arginine for the pump. It builds the blood flow. You get the big veiny bulging muscles which I love. You want a veiny bulgy dick.
When a woman sees a veiny, bulgy dick, she’s like, ah. We like the pump. That’s blood flow and vitality.
You want that for your dick. I have a good blood flow supplement called FLOW. I can have unlimited supplies of as much of it as you want. You may never need to retake Viagra or need a mini dose of Viagra.
The standard Viagra is 60 milligrams. Guys are taking 60 milligrams and waking up with a headache. They got sinuses. You can get down to 20 or even 10 milligrams by taking a nitric oxide booster. Take that. Do your dick-lifter or GAINSwave and use a penis pump because that increases the blood-carrying capacity of your dick. It’s pumping up your bicep, and you’re getting good blood flow everywhere.
You’re getting that in your dick. You’re concentrating and filling your dick with blood using a vacuum to pull the blood into your dick. Then you strap it off and let it sit there. The next time you get a hard-on, it’s more blood flow when you take it off. It also does a bit of damage which heals and makes your penis bigger. So it’s suitable for penis enlargement and reversing erectile dysfunction. It feels good.
There’s more information coming out all the time. Doctors recommend the phoenix. I’ve seen Ben Greenfield talk about it. Dave Asprey talks about it and the penis pump. We had a guest on the show a while back. That’s how this came to be. We got a lot of attention for joking about it initially, and the guests we had on the show explained that this could be super beneficial. Then we talked about this stuff more, but our response has been good.
We are having fun and laughing about it because these things can be awkward to talk about but not for me. That’s what you do, but many people are getting great results from it and maybe getting themselves past something plaguing them and being a real problem.
About a year ago, I was in a Mastermind where many people in the bodybuilding space had information about products and supplements. I was on a bus. We were going to the Porsche racing track. It was super fun. We got to go in with drivers and drive on the Porsche racing track all day.
I heard two guys talking behind me, big burly buff guys, leaders in their field. One guy asked, “Have you gotten a GAINSwave yet?” This was a couple of years ago before the Phoenix was out. The guy’s like, ” Yeah, I go in every year and get that done. It’s a part I call hashtag self-care down there. Men realize they’re taking care of their bodies, eating well, and in great shape, yet they’re not doing anything for their penis. Why not?
It’s something that men are becoming more aware of. I brought this Chinese penis pump, a cheap junky pump with a one-size cylinder. You get this in an adult store. It has no gauge. You don’t know what your vacuum pressure is. It won’t fit many people. There’s no room to grow. This is what guys bought. They pumped and did it wrong. They didn’t know what they were doing, didn’t keep up with it, and had no results. Instead, they hurt their dick.
I have five cylinders that all work with this pump system called the Whopper, if you’re listening. You get the right size for your penis and use a giant cylinder.
You put your penis in it and pump for 10 minutes. Pump it up. Then, go flaccid. Massage your dick. Go to the next pump. You don’t have to do all five. You only do two, but you get the right size and put your testicles and penis in the bigger one. That’s what sucks on that suspensory ligament and gives you the length. You need the big cylinder with your balls in it for size. If you only want girth and are happy with the length, you only have to pump with one cylinder. Pump every other day for 13 weeks.
It takes half an hour because you have to do 10 minutes. It is a lot of working out. It’s a commitment. Guys are like, I got out of the shower and caught a glimpse of my dick, and I’m like, whose dick was that? This thing shocks the dick out of you. It’s nice and thick right away.
Many guys have gotten hurt from rough sex and gotten a kink or a break or a little crunch in the corpus cavernosums. This helps fix those things. It helps improve the bends, but you have to get suitable cylinders. If you want length, you’ve got to use the big one. Get all your junk in its cylinder now.
Interestingly, women have mechanoreceptors in their vagina that like it when you stretch them out. When you enter and penetrate us, one of the pleasures is that we feel the stretch. So it’s not that length is important to us as girth.
We girls mostly want a girthy dick, not necessarily that it has to be super long. Women are just like, “Give me something nice and fat.” Many guys think they’ve got to look like a porn star. You don’t.
What’s going on with these other things? Those are not for micro-penises. Those little things are nipple, clitoral, and vulva pumps.
This one doesn’t matter. You put it on whatever part works. Some women have inverted nipples. You can pump your nipples up. This one is a vulva pump. It goes on top of the outer labia and mons. You can bring all the blood to your vulva. The clitoris is a mini-penis. It is a mini penis with glands and a shaft. The bigger and fatter that thing gets, the more pleasure it has. Many couples pump together. It’s so interesting.
This is head enlargement. Some guys say, “I like the size of my dick, but the head’s tiny. Can I pump that?” Yeah, you can pump the head. I even want my head to be even bigger and meatier.
What should I do? Use the heading enlarger. It’s a system of pumps that work well. It’s amazing what you can do with your body. Because we’ve had a guest, he talked about the head enlarger, or it’s a specific device you put it on. It’s supposed to pull directly on the suspensory ligament. Still, you mentioned the big pump that you put your balls and your dick in that deals with lengthening that suspensory ligament so you wouldn’t need another device. You can always add an extender to your regime if that’s what you’re into.
Many men are into penis enlargement. I get many pictures of giant penises, and it’s incredible what guys can do with their penises. They transform them unbelievably. These things look like sea serpents.
They’re very proud of it, and I’m probably the only woman who’ll take your dick pics. Send it to me. I’ve seen thousands of them because guys are always like can I send you a picture of my dick. Will you look at it and tell me if you think it’s okay? I’m like, “Sure, your dick’s great.”
I’m going to get 50 million dick pics, but many guys don’t have anybody to talk to and think there might be something wrong. I say your dick is average and perfect. It looks great. They’re like, “Thank you.”
There’s dick insecurity because of porn. When I was younger, I watched a lot of porn, so I noticed some fat dicks.
Guys think they need one of those to satisfy a woman, and it makes me feel sad. If you want a big dick, I want you to have one. If you feel bad that you’re not good enough, I don’t like that. I just want to support you. I want to help you achieve your goals. Not one-on-one. I try to provide good quality products and let you know possible things. I also tell you not to hurt yourself because you can hurt yourself by pumping your penis. I’ve written a book and helped thousands of men understand the right way to do it.
That thing’s been downloaded close to 40000 times at pumpingguide.com. It explains how to do it – the 10-minutes-on and the 10-minutes-off, don’t ejaculate after, how to strap it in, how not to do it too much, how not to over pump, what vacuum pressure, for how long, over 13 weeks. Follow the plan. I don’t have to tell you guys this. You know that if a guy gets a direction and you’re going to a negative two vacuum, he’s going to be like, I’ll go to negative 4673 because I can take it. Then they hurt themselves. So a guy emailed me and said I know you say to only pump for 10 minutes, but can I do it for 30? No stop!
Don’t hurt yourself. It’s serious. It works, but you have to be careful. We’ve used it, and it works with something like the Phoenix. Can you use that jackhammer as a preventative thing? Is that something a dude who’s 36 should start using?
I love to call it the dick-lifter because it’s so cute. You can use it to ensure you are not getting an arterial plaque in your penile arteries. It will also give you more heft. It gives you more blood flow, firmer erection, and hormesis. It’s going to provide you with more tissue and penile fortitude. If you’re 36 and in great shape and not seeing any diminishment, I wouldn’t bother, but your testosterone is dropping by the time you’re 45. You’re getting sarcopenia and arterial plaque.
You’re not exercising like you used to. It’s a good maintenance campaign whether you use the phoenix, the Whopper, or a combination.
The number one thing is if you’re over 40, eat leafy greens and get your blood pumping. It’s the number one thing to do because you need nitric oxide for blood flow. Viagra is a nitric oxide producer.
What have you seen in terms of hormone replacement? Have you talked about that with women?
I know some women will take testosterone to get their bioidentical hormone replacement. It’s great for the masculine and feminine. It’s a holy thing in a way. Some people are against it, and other people are, “I want some exogenous hormones.”
I’m 60-years-old, still putting on muscle, and still kicking ass. Thank you for saying that. You look amazing. I think a part of it is hormones because I take estrogen. When you take estrogen replacement, you want estradiol. You don’t want estrone. That’s the one that gives you breast cancer. You can take testosterone and have to balance it with progesterone.
You always need to work with a doctor to give you your labs to understand your levels and what makes you feel good. It’s the same with testosterone and for men. The pellets are popular, but they’re sticking something in you, and it’s declining over time, and you’re jacking up the testosterone again. It’s declining over time, and you’re jacking it up, and it’s declining.
It’s better to put it in a cream and put a bit on the end of your finger and stick it in your butt. If a guy’s not afraid to touch his butt… Why would you be? It’s your butt. You should get comfortable with your whole body. Those guys can titrate the testosterone to get it to the point where they feel good and are not taking too much. That’s the same with troches and sublingual testosterone. You can take too much, and you’re stuck with the prescription. That is not enough, or it’s too much.
So being able to titrate it yourself is good. You should try to increase your testosterone and lift heavy things. What has testosterone done for you? How do you take it? Is it a shot or a cream?
I rub cream on my pussy every morning, making me more fearless and a badass. It’s helped me keep and build muscle. It’s increased my confidence, zest for life, clitoral sensation, and orgasmic intensity. I’ve also had six O shots to my clitoris. Do you know about the priapus shock? Have you heard of PRP platelet-rich plasma?
You can get it in your joints if you’ve screwed up your joints. It’s your blood, and they spin and oxygenate it and shoot it back into you. They take off the red and white blood cells and leave you with your growth factors. The cytokines call to your stem cells to repair things. It’s excellent for meniscal tears and osteo-type of things. You can also get PRP on your scalp to help regrow your hair. You can get it in your face and neck, anywhere you want to have smoother, more youthful skin, and you can have it injected into your penis and clitoral structure. They’re spongy. It doesn’t hurt because they numb you with lidocaine.
You don’t have to look, you guys. Every man standing here is shaking their head.
It brings growth factors into that erectile tissue and reconstitutes the tissue. It’s regenerative medicine. Whether you’re talking about pumping, acoustic waves, or PRP, all are reversing the atrophy of aging.
As we fade and shrink, our genitals are shrinking. Our penis, vagina, vulva, and the clitoral system is shrinking. When we bring in growth factors to build new tissue, it reverses atrophy. How often do you get labs done to know your levels of everything? I usually do hormone labs once a year. I also like the organic acid test.
Have you guys heard about organic acid tests? It’s fascinating. It measures your biosystems, fatty acid levels, and krebs cycles to see how much ATP you make. If you have issues with making more ATP, if you’ve got chronic fatigue or low energy, it checks your microbiome and toxin levels from mercury and molds and other things.
It’s a big panel that gives you data about functions and systems in your body. I like to get one of those every year to see how I’m doing with mitochondrial health.
How long have you been using testosterone?
For over a decade. How do you feel about it? What has it done for your mental health?
I’ve always been a bit of a barbarian. I love that feeling, and it’s allowed me to be the person I am, a badass. My sex life’s incredible, and I’m having the best orgasms.
Between the estrogen, keeping my tissue plump, and the testosterone, keeping my turn-on high because I have such a great sex life, it fuels my creativity and self-confidence because I walk in the world as a powerful and rooted person sexy, confident, and beautiful.
That all makes me feel good, and both testosterone and estrogen contribute. The progesterone helps me sleep at night. My sleep is excellent. I eat organic food. I’m a fabulous cook. I get exercise, sleep well, and have a great sex life. I’ve got a lot of creative energy. I’m happy and having a good hormone balance adds to everything. Having good sex adds to having a good hormone balance and feeling good every day.
I love semen. One of my girlfriends, Dr. Devaki Lindsey Berkson, wrote a book called Sexy Brain. She talks about how many great things are inside your ejaculate. It’s super suitable for women because we have vaginal mucosa that’s a sponge. We get serotonin, testosterone, and luteinizing hormones that regulate our menses when we come inside us. We get zinc which is great for the brain and cognitive function. You guys give us a load of value, literally and figuratively, that we love and keep us happy, healthy, and functioning well.
There was a girl years ago who was an Olympic lifter. She got popped for performance-enhancing drugs, and she’s like, I’m not on anything. It’s my boyfriend, and she claims that there could be legit adverse side effects from testosterone. I’ve heard some women might experience getting hair and that sort of thing. If you get facial hair or acne, you’d need to back off. That’s why I like the cream. You take such a minor dose you probably don’t have mud.
By the way, we work with Merrick Health. We do all our labs with them. We have a male and female panel with them, and you can get many different things. What was the test that you talked about? There’s a specific organic acid test.
If you guys want to get your labs done, you need to get that done with Merrick. Andrew, tell people how to get it real quick. Just at merrickhealth.com. We recommend the power project panel because it’s a crazy world.
You don’t know what labs to get, and once you get them, you don’t even know what to do with them. Merrick takes care of all of that. Head over to merrickhealth.com for the power project panel and when you guys check it out, use promo code power project for 101 off of that panel.
The links and the podcast show notes are in the description. For many guys, when they take testosterone and their doctor runs a blood test, they say their testosterone is 400. You’re fine.
You want to be up at 1200. Just because I’m supposed to be 400 at my age with GDL 400, why do I want to have the testosterone of my age? Why not have the testosterone of my youth? You have to watch out for the other thing when you go to a regular doctor.
You’re not getting your tests through merit because regular doctors aren’t trained to do testosterone replacement therapy for a living. You’re trying to reach more optimal ranges rather than low-normal ones that someone made up.
In your email, you mentioned a p-spot. Have we covered that one already? P-spot is the prostate. The prostate is your g-spot. I showed you prostate tools, internal and external. Don’t ignore your back door. There’s this guy Tristan Shaw at the old super training gym five years ago. Tristan was talking to a few other people and me.
He was looking at me, like, “One of these days, you have to have your girl stick your finger in your butt.” He’s like it feels incredible. I’m like, “Okay, there has to be something there.” I honestly think that he’s a great guy to get advice from.
These toys look pretty scary, a little intimidating. Those are bigger than me. For all the dudes looking at this, that’s typical. There are tons of guys having p-spot orgasms and loving it.
Is the orgasm similar? You said it’s like a full-body internal thing because I’ve gotten great massages, especially from Mark and Sema. But it doesn’t compare. Double team them. There’s DP, but it doesn’t compare to that full-on ejaculation where I’m going to sleep because I have no more energy. It enhances your ejaculatory orgasms, so you’ll come harder and better with the addition of the prostate.
Try it if you want to, but you don’t have to. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Most men are happy with their ejaculatory one-and-done orgasm. There are 20 kinds. I’ve only had seven. Which ones can I have?
Guys are “There’s 20 for women. I want to give her all 20.” But they don’t want it themselves. Guys give up their pleasure to give a woman pleasure, but they don’t realize that the more orgasmic they are, the more they turn her on. They’re like, I want you to moan for me, so I get the feedback and hear how I’m doing.
Why don’t you moan for me too, so I know you’re having a good time. The more you amp it up for them, the more you’ll get turned on and the better your orgasms will be, and the more you’ll trigger her orgasms like that tuning fork.
What are some things that women can do to get the guy more excited? We’ve talked in the other direction a bit more. What are some things that might get the guy more excited? You mentioned many times that the guy is just as excited.
Are you asking how a woman can give a man who wants to have sex even better sex? That thing I’d say is moaning, dirty talk, and dressing up in sexy outfits. Many guys are listening around like, “Yep, we’re super visual.” Lingerie and stripper shoes. You don’t have to walk around the house and wear them in bed. You could walk around the house.
I’m joking. I could cook a steak and then make dinner. You want to tell him he’s hot. He wants to be desired. He wants to know. You want him. He doesn’t want to push himself on you. He doesn’t always want to be the instigator. The number one thing for guys is they don’t always want to initiate sex. They want you to initiate sex. He is surrendering and being super horny in the bedroom. Guys have to be willing and love her doing that, or he’ll shut her down. I am riding him, dominating him. He likes to let go sometimes and be used for your pleasure. That’s a big one.
Suggest new ideas. I want you to get this toy and try it. I want sex in weird places, and I want to try a new sex position. Variety is a big one for guys too. They want that.
Men sometimes say you know everything. It was great before. Once we got married, things slowed down. Why does that happen, and how can married individuals, maybe their physical relationship isn’t like it used to be.
How can they bring that back because many people talk about that? Boredom is the death of your sex life. It’s difficult because I can say a variety and introduce things, but he’ll be like, she doesn’t want to do anything I suggested. She’s like no. That’s where you have to get back to that fierce intimacy. Honey, you know it. We’ve got each other. I need to have you try things. We both have to talk about stuff that hard.
Somebody might get their feelings hurt. It’s always thinking about crazy, fun new exercises you can do together. We love it when you take us on an experience, give us a ride, create something entertaining, come up with ideas, lead us, encourage us, tell us how sexy we are, and push us forward. That helps a lot. People need encouragement, and we need that from our partners. We both need that. Treating your sex life like it’s as essential as other parts of your relationship and not falling into a rut.
The male pumps. It’s healthy to get more blood in your dick. Is it the same for women to use the other cup and get more blood flow?
The penis is more beneficial for the penis. You can rub the vulva and get the tissue in. It’s not about expanding the blood-carrying capacity of the vulva as it is about getting the blood into it, getting her tissue engorged. Vulva pumps are good, but the penis pumps are incredible.
You came here with your husband, but you also have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Nowadays, I’ve seen that open relationships have become more. Now they’re not mainstream, but people talk about them more.
I’ve also seen individuals within my age group attempt it and crash and burn horribly. You’ve been doing something within the dynamic you guys have that allows you to do this healthily and still love each other and succeed.
I’ve heard of people opening up their relationships because things were bad, which doesn’t necessarily sound like a good idea. Have you managed to do this with everyone so successfully?
Tim and I have been married for 30 years and had a good relationship before we opened it up 15 years ago. We did many things wrong and learned what not to do and what to do. It’s never easy because you have four people instead of two in your relationship. We’re in a monogamous pod. We call it the quadpod. The four of us are partnered together. The men are straight, and we don’t have sex with anybody outside of the four of us. We’re monogamous together, and we’re older. We’re more willing to tell our truths.
Whenever I have a problem with something, it’s hardly ever my partner. It’s me being an idiot. Many things are tangled up in jealousy, which doesn’t completely disappear but diminishes as you get a little older.
We’re mature and find it fun to be together, the four of us. It’s like a plus-up. It was funny. We have a 24-year-old daughter, and we never let her know. We were open. When she was 22, she said, “Are you guys in an open relationship?” and I said, ” Yeah, we are.” That was it.
Last year, she met our partners and said I think it’s more fun with the four of you than with just the two.
I like being with you guys. It’s a lot of fun. It’s even more interesting. I love your people and think we all bring many loving aspects to our relationship. We all love each other, have fun together and have sexy times together. We travel together. When you’ve been married for 30 years, it’s nice to have other people, new relationship energy, new fun, sexy times.
For us, it’s very addictive, and it works well. We’re all delighted, and it’s very loving, sexy, and fun. But it’s not for everybody. They’re coming with me because we’re getting up to Tahoe together. I usually don’t talk about it and am not externally a poly person. People ask me questions. I answer them, but I’m not a poly coach because it’s so specific to the two, three, or four people. Your level of risk and how emotionally stable you are. There are so many dynamics that I don’t even want to be in. I don’t want people to feel bad just because I have a boyfriend and girlfriend with my husband. I don’t want other people to be triggered. Instead, I don’t even get into it. I’m just a happy little girl and very well-loved.
Going through your website, there’s a fantastic amount of courses that look cool, and there could be choice anxiety for a man or woman with us on this podcast. They’re like, “Susan has so many good things on the site.” Where should they get started?
Everybody’s so different. Somebody might want to have my woman ejaculate and learn that with her. So Female Liquid Orgasm. Or we’re just looking for something to spice up our sex life and want to learn new techniques. Maybe that’s the Steamy Sex Ed video collection, which I’ll give you all this stuff.
Anything you want, let me know. You can have an unlimited VIP membership to all our stuff. That’s fantastic. Steamy is good because it shows 200 lovemaking techniques. I’ve realized most people have a pretty good sex life. They need ideas and new things to try, like the lord of the rings.
You run out of ideas and need new stuff. I provide inspiration and permission. Those are the two things. It’s okay to want what you want, and here are many ideas you might want to try. People are like, “I’m off to the races.” That’s what I needed. Thank you so much.
Expanded orgasm is the clitoral stroking practice that Tim and I have been doing for almost 20 years. That one’s incredible for women who need to expand their orgasmic capacity. That’s like being a big wave orgasm surfer. Instead of just being one and done, or maybe I can have a couple of those, you’re coming the whole time. This teaches you how to stay in and massively expand your orgasmic capacity for pleasure. How do I get my wife to want me for sex again? That’s Revive Her Drive, the Passion Patch, Blowjob secret, about throat gasms. I’m not just doing him. I can come too. How do I do that? I try to be available for whatever you think you need.
Come into my world. I’m here. Whether it’s a free video on my channel, a program, or a free e-book like Thrust in Time, I got something that Andrew enjoyed. Thank you for that. Highly recommend it. It’s a great technique. It feels good for everybody.
I try to meet people and give them something. I love little hinges that swing big doors, simple things you can do. Count to ten. If it’s that easy and she comes, you’re like dude, what else you got?
I like to make things simple. Here’s one of the reasons I love to work with men. Men are like, what do I need to do? You’re like, “Can you do this, this, and this?” They’re like, “Got it.” Women are like, “Let me ask you a question.” I’m like, “oh, all right.”
I’ve gravitated. I help women a lot. Women are 40 percent of my fan base. Sixty of my fan base is men because the dude is like, how do I make my dick bigger? I’m like, “Honey, just get this thing and take this thing.” My god, look at the pictures.
Before and after, I love this conversation because anytime we’ve talked about penis pumping. After all, you said permission, and it’s like we’re greenlighting dudes to take care of their dicks because many comments were like, that seems cool. I’ll try it when they’ve been thinking about this for a while. We’re giving them the okay. We’re making a lot of healthy dicks in the world right now.
I promise it works, whether it’s getting you back to where you used to be or taking you where you want to go. It’s nice to know that you can trust the system because you’re drawing blood into your penis and increasing the blood-carrying capacity of your penis. When you’re growing your blood carrying capacity in any part of your body, you’re pumping it up.
Did you mention you got more sensation too? Yeah, this difference is crazy and quality too. Andrew takes us on out here. Thank you, everybody, for checking out today’s episode. Make sure you like and comment if this gets suppressed by any platform.
Do us a solid and make sure you guys do that. Subscribe if you guys are not subscribed. Turn on all those notifications, so you don’t miss anything. Please follow the podcast at markwellspowerproject, on Instagram @mbpowerproject. On ticktalk and twitter. My Instagram and Twitter are @imandrews. Before I forget anything mentioned in today’s episode, we’ll link everything down in the description and the podcast show notes. If you guys listen to this on the audio side, make sure you watch the video because there’s a lot of stuff.
We got sexy Susie show-and-tell and left a review on iTunes, guys, because it helps us out. I’m on Instagram and youtube. I didn’t see my yin yang on Tik Tok and Twitter.
Susan, where can people find all your stuff?
You can find me at betterlover.com. You can find me on Instagram. I’m Susan Bratton. I have written 5000 articles in the last 20 years on everything you could imagine at personallifemedia.com.
Thank you so much for your time today. We appreciate it. I also had a great time and appreciated all your questions. You guys are fearless, which I knew you would be. Strength is never weak. Catch you guys later! Bye.