Kimberly: Going from soulmates to sexual soulmates sounds complicated, but it’s easier than you think. Intimacy expert Susan Bratton is joining us to break down her six steps to getting there.
Susan, it’s nice to talk to you today.
Susan: Good morning, Kimberly. It’s great to be here.
K: I love this topic we’re covering. We’ve talked before about growing closer intimately with your partner, but you say it’s easier than people think to become sexual soulmates. You have six steps. Can you break those down for us?
S: I’d be happy! The first one is to check the phone outside the bedroom. We have to think about our sexual connection as rejuvenating. It’s not something we have to do but something that benefits us.
The second is setting the Loverspace. Can you see my beautiful candle? When you light candles, it changes everything. Taking the time to make your room beautiful makes a big difference.
K: Susan, everyone looks good in candlelight. It is the best light on the planet.
S: It makes our skin look pretty so we feel more beautiful and sexy.
K: I’m still waiting to do this show by candlelight. They still haven’t improved it.
CLEAR COMMUNICATION
S: The third factor in my six essentials for connected sex is that sometimes you’re a lion, while other times you’re a kitty cat. You need to honor both of those forms because every day, we’re a bit different. It’s all about talking about where you are and what you need at the moment. Have clear communication with each other. People are afraid to say what they want. Understanding that we’re constantly changing takes the pressure off us.
The next is honoring our differences. Here are my favorite Ken and Barbie dolls. One of the things that make us soulmates is the difference between the two of us. Enjoy and honor what makes us different.
The next is embodied sexuality, which is connecting your hearts and eyes. Look into each other’s eyes. Breathe together—the beauty of touch and our skin sensation. If you’re making love but not using your hands to touch each other all over, if you’re not in your heart, then you don’t have embodied sexuality.
Finally, couples that play together stay together. Schedule your lovemaking dates so that you have fun things planned on your calendar.
SCHEDULED SEX DATES
You can learn many new skills together as a couple. I look forward to it. “Tonight we’re doing sensual massages” takes it away from “Tonight we’re going to have sex” to “We’re going to make love, have fun, and go something exciting and new together.” That keeps the new relationship energy going strong.
K: Susan, so you’re saying that is sexier than, “Sweetie, I’ve got you penciled on Wednesday at 7:30?”
S: As long as you’ve got something fun for me! I’d be open to being penciled in.
K: Susan, these are such great tips. Thank you for going through all that with us today. If guys missed any of that, it’d be on our website watchdaytime.com.
