I like stealthy seduction techniques because many couples don’t necessarily want to say “I really wish you’d do this to me,” or they don’t even know what they want but they know it’s not what they’re getting. How can you give your lover a stealthy seduction technique that moves them towards what you might like to have? How can you avoid bossing your partner around? What sex signals can you use to move them without a verbal direction?
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[Susan Bratton] I think there are equally as many men who are bored with their wives doing the same old things, but if they ask or tell her to do it, she resists.
[John Gray] The first step is for a woman to respond to a man’s seduction. How do you open yourself up so a man will want to come in?
#1 is learning how to ask for help and being really happy that he did it.
#2 is sitting together and planning a date where she gets what she wants. You give him several options. He has a discussion and he can pick any. Then, he gets to take full credit for it. It’s so nice getting his confidence back that he makes you happy. Whenever a woman is happy, he has greater confidence.
In the bedroom, you have four commands or sex signals. The conventional ones are harder, softer, faster, and slower. Long sentences generally don’t work with guys unless you’re really good at conversing, but most people aren’t. Short little commands will do it. Also say, ‘Touch me here. I feel so good.’ If he’s not doing something that works, move his hand. It’s easier to direct a man by moving his hand rather than say that’s the wrong place.
Sometimes, women are like the moon and they really want their orgasm. Other times, with a half-moon, they could either have it or not. Sometimes, it’s the new moon where they’re not really in the mood at all but they can enjoy the intimacy, the closeness. At those times, have sex signals that let them know that tonight you don’t have to do a lot of foreplay. Otherwise, men should just get that if you need three or four minutes of foreplay before you’re ready to come, you can maybe hold back.
A woman needs 20 to 30 minutes depending upon how stressed she is during the day. So, it’s always slow. It’s setting a setting. It’s having candles and playing music. I always check with my wife and give her a few suggestions. I don’t just say, “What would you like to listen to?” That just puts more pressure on her. I say “We can listen to this. What do you like? Then she’s like, “I like that,” and I put on the music. So, you have the setting. You’ve got the lights down, the candles up. This all makes the room more beautiful.
If you focus attention on the environment, women feel you’re giving her attention, and that’s a big seduction context. It is so important for us. We need you to set that lover space and have clear sex signals. You can always ask him for more but it needs to be after he feels he’s successful. You did a good job. Little steps at a time.
[Susan] I’m Susan Bratton, trusted hot sex adviser to millions, and you just watched one of a series of videos I did with John Gray, the famous author of Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus. This one video can only give you a quick hit of inspiration. So, I’ve attached some additional free information on this topic for you at the end of this video. I’m like the Dear Abby of sex and I answer questions right here. I’m glad you found me. I can’t wait to send you some freebies.