Hi, my name is Susan Bratton. I’m a trusted hot sex adviser to millions of people worldwide, and I want to talk about how to lose your virginity in a way that makes your first time a treasured memory. You’ll look back fondly for the rest of your life. You need to know a couple of things if you’re thinking about losing your virginity.
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Relationship expert Susan Bratton joins us now. It’s Susan Bratton!
Hi, my name is Susan Bratton. I’m a trusted hot sex adviser to millions of people all over the world. Today I want to talk about losing your virginity in a way that makes your first time a treasured memory. You’ll look back fondly for the rest of your life.
There are a couple of things that you need to know. First, I want you to be ready to do it. Don’t pressure yourself, and certainly don’t let anyone pressure you into it if you’re not 100 percent ready. Many young people put pressure on their peers by claiming they’ve had sex when they haven’t, and they also lie and exaggerate how awesome it is and how much you’re missing out and making you feel like you’re being left behind. Please don’t buy it. Your sexuality is a treasure that belongs to you only. It might be hard to hold on to that understanding, especially for teens who are so close and intimate with their BFFs, but this part of your life is too important to allow yourself to be persuaded into something that’s not right for you.
So, take your time to find the right person to do it when it’s going to be meaningful. Your virginity is a prize, and you only get one first time.
The second thing you have to be aware of besides being emotionally and physically ready is how to be safe. You don’t want to get pregnant. You don’t want to get someone pregnant, and you don’t want to give or get any sexually transmitted diseases.
If you’re a virgin and never had intercourse, you could still have a sexually transmitted disease if you’ve been sexual in other ways. Now, I don’t want to scare you, but I want you to be very careful about how you have sex and who you have sex with. Smart people get a series of STI tests, sexually transmitted infections. If you’re not comfortable going to your family doctor, go to Planned Parenthood or a clinic in your area because these organizations typically provide services for free or a minimal fee.
I’ll post a link with this video to my website, where you’ll find a list of all the STD tests that you will need. Now, if you’ve never had sex and you’re pretty sure you don’t have any STDs, you still need to use a condom when you’re having sex with a partner. If you’re the woman, you may also want to seriously consider getting an intrauterine device called an IUD to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The IUD is very safe. You can go to Planned Parenthood or a gynecologist and have one inserted into your uterus.
The procedure isn’t any more painful than getting a shot, and it only hurts for a few seconds. You can wear the IUD for 3 to 5 years to keep you from conceiving a baby. The nice thing about an IUD is you don’t have to worry about remembering to take birth control pills, and taking them with you whenever you spend the night at a friend’s house or go on vacation can be problematic.
But beware that even if you have an IUD, you need to use condoms when you have intercourse. That protects you from getting most STDs.
If you’re the guy, it’s essential to always carry condoms with you. It’s your responsibility as a grown-ass man to protect the women you have sex with. First, try a lot of different ones on so you get the right fit. Many guys think that condoms aren’t comfortable or can ruin the moment or keep you from feeling pleasure. Still, I can tell you that once you have a good fitting condom, you can feel the pleasure and enjoy it while keeping yourself safe.
The woman you’re making love safe and women appreciate you taking care of this because that means you’re taking care of her. She doesn’t have to worry about an accidental pregnancy or getting an STD. It also means that she’ll be freer to enjoy the sex because she doesn’t have to worry about bad things going on in the back of her mind. It’s a good idea to practice using condoms. Please put it on when you’re fully erect, so you’ll have confidence that when it’s time to put it on, you’ll know what you’re doing. You won’t have to fumble around and feel like you might spoil the moment or risk losing your erection.
Plus, if you practice ahead of time, you won’t stress getting that rubber on when your lady’s ready to roll. Now, we’ve talked about the importance of being ready emotionally and physically. You’re not feeling pressured to do something before you’re ready and making sure you practicing safe sex, so you don’t give or get any diseases or get someone pregnant or get pregnant yourself. I want you to be able to look back at this moment with lovely memories before you go all the way.
You should talk with your partner about it and agree that it’s okay. That means you’re on the same page, and both of you are ready, and then take your time. You’re also going to want to make sure that you’re in a private and safe place where you won’t get interrupted. I don’t recommend doing it at a party if other people can come in the room if you want to relax, especially the first time you ever have sex.
The same goes for if you’re no longer a virgin, but your partner is. When you find your private place, make a lovely little nest that’s sweet and cozy. Spend a few minutes connecting with your partner and honoring the moment, and then take your time with foreplay, kissing, oral sex, touching each other’s bodies, playing with each other’s genitals with your hands, feeling each other, holding each other. It’s essential that you get comfortable and connected.
You look into your partner’s eyes. You breathe together, feel your heartbeats, remember this moment that you’re human as the first time you were this intimate with another person. Don’t feel like you have to rush the moment. Even if you feel nervous, slowing down will make you less nervous because everybody’s nervous the first time they make love. You’re entering into unknown territory, and believe me, a lot of people are a little nervous every time.
There’s always a little performance anxiety that comes with sex no matter how many times you’ve had intercourse, no matter how many orgasms you’ve had. Don’t worry about it. Just know that part of what makes losing your virginity exciting is the newness of the whole experience.
Now, if you’ve talked with your partner, get your agreements about what you’re willing to do and not willing to do, don’t worry about ruining the moment by asking for what you need. If you’re straight with your person that you’re having sex with and they care about you enough to be intimate with you, they’re gonna want the best for you, and you’re going to want the best for them. A big part of losing your virginity is having the confidence and the comfort and the communication with the person you’re going to have sex with.
Spend time making out, kissing, holding each other, getting each other turned on. If the woman gets scared and can’t get turned on, back off, and wait, she might be mentally ready, but her body needs time to catch up. You don’t want to enter her if she’s not eager to have you inside her, and I recommend using lubrication. Categorically, you can use silicone oil or water-based sexual lubricants.
There are three kinds of sexual lubricants. Now, remember that oil breaks down latex condoms. Ten percent of people have a known allergy to latex. Now, latex condoms are the cheapest but most allergenic, so I say why to risk it. Get something that is a polyurethane condom instead. I recommend polyurethane condoms with organic avocado oil for intercourse. Why? The condoms are hypoallergenic, protect you against STDs, and use a natural oil like avocado oil or coconut oil, and it won’t degrade the material. If you use good oil, you can eat it right off her, and it’ll be chemical-free.
Condoms made from AT10 or polyurethane, or lambskin are the animal intestine compatible with oil-based lubricants. Still, polyisoprene condoms are allegedly latex and all the allergens removed are the only compatible condoms with water and silicone loops. Lambskin and other natural animal products will not protect you from STDs, so be careful what condoms you choose.
Now, well, of course, all you have to do is flip a penis into a vagina and move it around however it feels good to you, but even getting his penis in her vagina can be tricky the first time. It’s best to look where you’re going if she’ll let you, and making her feel good about looking is a real benefit. Ladies, help him guide his penis inside you—deep breath. Breathe deeply. Connect your hearts, and don’t worry, because humans have been doing this for two and a half million years, so you are genetically wired to be excellent at this. So, it’s mostly just about not worrying so much. As long as you’re safe, you both want to do it. You’ll feel your way through it. You’re a natural. You were born to do this.
Now, it’s great if the guy can take his time, and he doesn’t feel like he has to have his ejaculation quickly, and you enjoy each other. Now, sometimes if the guy comes very quickly the first time, don’t worry about it. It’s exhilarating for him, and he probably doesn’t have a lot of practice. He’s probably a virgin too, and if there are no orgasms this time, don’t worry. Sex takes practice, and practice makes perfect. Now, there’s also the hymen.
Some women have a membrane that covers the vaginal opening called the introitus. It’s barely or not at all noticeable for some women, and for others, it’s a thick membrane that makes it hard to get a penis to penetrate. Again, take your time. If it’s hard to penetrate your vagina with his penis, you may want to get a mirror. Take a look at the opening of your vaginal canal and see if the hymen covers it. If it is, sometimes with gentle penetration and plenty of lubrication, you can get the penis inside.
If you happen to be a woman with a very thick hymen, you may want to go to your gynecologist and talk to them about how best to proceed, and yes, the first time you have sex, if you do have a hymen, that gets a little torn from penetration. You may see some blood. That’s also perfectly normal, and the hymen allegedly doesn’t have many nerve endings in it, so it’s not supposed to be too painful. It wasn’t too painful for me, but everybody’s different, and if there is pain, refrain. Don’t do anything that hurts. It doesn’t need to, and remember this is your first time, but it can be postponed, and you can always try again. So, make this a happy, pleasurable experience and be good to your hearts.
Okay, if you have any questions, I want you to post them below this video. I check back here frequently, and I will respond to your questions. I’m sure you have something in your mind that I didn’t answer, and I can’t guess what that is, but I can reply. If you post a question below the video, please be kind in posting your questions. Remember that I’m here to help you and everyone else. Have a beautiful day. Experience the first time you lose your virginity. Alright, I’m Susan Bratton, and I hope you have a fantastic day and a fantastic sex life.
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