Growth isn’t always easy, but it’s the heartbeat of a truly vibrant relationship. For some, having a partner who constantly pushes them might feel like a lot, but for me, it is exactly what keeps life exciting. I’ve found that when we embrace a commitment to growth together, we stop stagnating and start evolving into the best versions of ourselves. It’s about more than just support; it’s about having someone who sees your potential and refuses to let you settle for less. When you align your relationship values—like honesty, adventure, and mutual respect—you create a foundation that can weather any storm. True partnership is a swirling vortex of fun and expansion where both people feel seen, challenged, and deeply appreciated.
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[00:00:00]Tim: I love it when she dresses up in slutty, lingerie and like prances around the house. Yeah. And then was like, you know, essentially encouraging me to fuck her, which doesn’t take much encouragement at all.
[00:00:12]Tim: And my number two is fun and adventure, which we talked about before, which like, Susan is naturally a swirling vortex of fun. My number three is honesty. I like to have a relationship where, where we’re both honest and I like growth. So like, she pushes me a lot. And a lot of people go, oh wow, your wife is so pushy.
[00:00:31]Tim: She’s constantly pushing you. And I’m like, I like it. ’cause I like a woman who challenges me. I like growth. So, you know, for some guys that wouldn’t work at all. But for me it works great. Now Susan, her number one I think you could probably guess is security.
[00:00:47]Susan: Yeah.
[00:00:48]Tim: So, and that’s easy for me. That’s pretty natural.
[00:00:51]Tim: Um, your number two used to be variety. Freedom. It’s freedom. Well, freedom. Yeah. Freedom.
[00:00:57]Susan: I want him to totally take care of me and let me do whatever I [00:01:00] wanna do. He’s happy to do it because he knows that’s what, he’s an introvert. He doesn’t wanna always do the things. Like I went to that weekend workshop at solo.
[00:01:07]Susan: He doesn’t like peopley things so much. He likes big monitors. Tons of big monitors with spreadsheets on them. Exactly. And ai. Everythings
[00:01:16]Tim: so freedom and then, uh, variety. And then it used to be,
[00:01:23]Susan: uh, and honesty is there, but I also like the, you lecture an adventure.
[00:01:29]Tim: You might have added passion to that list at some point.
[00:01:31]Susan: Added passion. I wouldn’t be in a relationship anymore. And this is how you figure out your relationship values ultimately is you do this rank ordering, it’s just this little workbook and you, um, you do your kind of rank ordering and you do it three or four times and you keep asking yourself, would I be in a relationship if I couldn’t have this?
[00:01:48]Susan: What are my
[00:01:49]Susan: top things? I would not be in a relationship where the person I was with wasn’t keeping me safe and protecting me. Any unsafe behavior and I can’t be with those people. I just, I, my [00:02:00] friends are also, I’m very nurturing and mothering and that, that attracts them. But they also equally own my safety in the relationship too.
[00:02:09]Susan: I don’t like risky behavior at all. And so it’s tends to also be a lot of them transfer to your friendships. And the more you understand what your own relationship values are, you can look for and you can communicate your needs to your friends and your partners so that they understand what it is you need most from them, and they can just focus on that.
[00:02:30]Susan: So I will be wearing a lot of lingerie this weekend, as an example. And it just makes, and he also likes it when I come out. Of the, you know, of the bedroom in the morning and, um, walk around nude, like, he just likes to see my naked body. I do. He likes it. If I come and kiss him, he likes to go by and play with my boobs.
[00:02:52]Susan: He like, he just wants to touch me and squeeze me and feel me, and see me and smell me and experience me. That’s, he’s highly kinesthetic. Yeah, because [00:03:00] he’s deep in the numbers all the time. When he comes out of numerics and his heady Mensa genuis-y shit that he’s doing all the time, he wants tactile. W surrender.
[00:03:13]Susan: He wants to surrender into kines kinesthetic pleasure
[00:03:16]Tim: with cute girl parts.
[00:03:18]Susan: Yes, with squishy parts.
[00:03:19]Tim: Like the cute girl parts. Yeah,
[00:03:20]Susan: so I think relationship values, radical honesty and expanded orgasm practice, mutual respect, commitment to a life of growth. These are a lot of the foundations that have made us successful and that I think are naturally a part of what makes all couples successful.
