Play the field, safely. Have casual sex without intercourse.
You have way more options than you think about having safe sex with a lot of partners.
And it turns out that sexual agreements create a safe container for the HOTTEST sex imaginable.
Do you have your own agreements with yourself about what you will do and what you won’t do if you have the opportunity to have sex with someone?
Getting clear on your own safe sex strategy and your personal boundaries will help keep you safe in times of peak desire when your brain is addled by lust hormones.
You have many options for a safe sex strategy.
To protect your heart and your body you have to decide if you’re going to want someone to be exclusive (only have sex with you) for you to have sex with them.
Part of that will be based on what you’re looking for… an exclusive, monogamous relationship?
Or a non-exclusive, open relationship?
Or something in the middle perhaps?
Knowing what you want helps you determine how you’ll keep yourself from getting sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies.
Kissing and manual play (giving each other orgasms from just using your hands) are pretty darn safe.
Once you start putting your mouth on their genitals or have genital to genital contact you can easily contract STI’s if they have them or have risky behaviors.
A condom can help prevent STI’s from penis/vagina and anal sex, but oral sex is RISKY these days. You can get HPV, herpes and other kinds of STI’s from oral to genital as well as genital to genital contact.
For example, you could choose to:
1) Use a condom each time you have intercourse but not have oral until you’re exclusive. (Even with condoms you can get herpes, crabs and other STI’s that aren’t “contained” by a condom.)
2) Only kiss and play with each other with your hands and not have oral, anal or intercourse even with a condom until you’re exclusive and have shared recent STD tests.
WHAT IS YOUR RISK PROFILE?
You have to decide your risk profile, how many partners you want and what your boundaries are.
When you know your boundaries, you can set them as an agreement before proceeding with sex.
Now some people think this takes the spontaneous passion out of a hook up.
My personal opinion is that I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with someone who wasn’t mature enough to have the safe sex and personal boundaries conversations before becoming intimate. And if that conversation killed our desire for each other, it probably wasn’t strong enough to bother getting sexual together anyway.
You can tell a lot about a lover by their willingness to keep you and themselves safe.
Sexual agreements are a conscious safe sex practice.
With 19 STI’s you can get, it’s of utmost importance to carry condoms and enter into a safe sex conversation with every partner.
If you want my recommendation, I suggest you stick to kissing and hand-play until you know someone and have gotten tested. But I understand that may be more safe than you feel you need to be.
Just remember, someone who fucks around a lot is a prime prospect to be an STI germ vector.
For women, getting good at hand jobs, strip-tease, frottage (rubbing your bodies together) and dirty talk can be a safe way to have a truly erotic, satisfying time together.
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The Expanded Orgasm technique is also know as Orgasmic Meditation. It’s a stroke pattern that holds women in long, stretchy orgasmic bliss. It’s super easy to learn and OMG it feels amazeballs.
Once you learn it you can do it to any woman and it’s TOTALLY SAFE SEX!
If I were a dude this is the #1 thing I’d learn how to do.
Women will be calling you up asking for an Expanded Orgasm date.
They will come over to your house and let you play with their beautiful genitals.
And they will appreciate you keeping them safe. That is masculine sexual leadership at its best. Make us safe and secure so we can surrender to our pleasure with you.
Stroking a woman and seeing her writhing and moaning in ecstasy is one of the gifts of life.
Hands are the THING! Don’t underestimate how much pleasure you can have in the safe container of sexual agreements.
When you know where the boundaries are, you can play FULL OUT to the edges of them.
And it can be hot, hot, hot and safe and fun.
And then you can learn each other and enjoy each other and decide to get tested and screen in as fluid bonded partners.
Then you can ditch the condoms and have rocking, wet sex together. The best kind of all.