Today, we’ll discuss a few sex tools for healthy aging and the sexuality part of a holistic approach to having great energy and an excellent health span.
Susan Bratton’s Sex Tools for Healthy Aging, Skinspiraton Protocol and #SelfCareDownThere Product Links
Bi-Est Bio-Identical Combination of estriol 80% and estradiol 20% Hormone Replacement Compounded in Shea Butter (You will need your doctor to write you this prescription. Functional doctors do this for a living. http://findfunctional.com)
A great sex life makes you live longer because you feel great, and you’re happy. I had the coronavirus in March, and I’m a long hauler. I’m getting back on my feet now, and when I started to gain positive ground, I began to self-pleasure myself again. Good pleasurable experiences would accelerate my return to health because your libido is one side of the same coin as your overall health.
SEX TOOLS FOR HEALTHY AGING: Sexual Biohacking
When your overall health suffers, your libido suffers. If your libido is down, it’s a functional systemic health issue. The good news is that I had a fantastic lovemaking date with my husband yesterday afternoon. We’re so old that we mostly have sex in the afternoon. The kids were gone, and it’s the first thing we did because it’s been seven months of me not feeling well enough to make love.
We spent a long time on sensual massage. Over time, couples atrophy. Atrophy is when you get wrinkles outside and inside. Everything shrivels up. We’re always railing against our body’s desiccation. The tissue folds in on itself. Our organs, hearts, and brains start shrinking. Our vulvas and penises shrink.
ATROPHY
One of the saddest things about getting old is that your male body partner’s penis atrophies in a long-term monogamous relationship. It gets smaller and doesn’t stay firm—her vulva also atrophies. The vaginal mucosa atrophies and opens up her vaginal opening. She gets more prominent while he gets smaller. You lose that grip. There’s a lot of sensation loss, and a part of that is the natural neuropathy of aging. There’s also this very fundamental piece of sexual biohacking called engorgement. You might think about other words like tumescence, blood flow, swollen, or erect for those new to the term.
These are all similar words to say my genitals are full of blood flow. Therefore as a male and female-bodied person, I have an erection, or if I don’t, it’s because of atrophy and a lack of blood flow. I’m used to my tissue getting smaller, and I feel less sensation because when the tissue is plump, it’s more extensive when it’s flaccid. When it’s plump, it has more surface area, which means it has more sensation. A big part of sensation loss is a lack of blood flow.
ERECTILE TISSUE
Half of his banana sticks out of his body, but the whole thing is full of erectile tissue. The male penis looks like a second tongue. People don’t understand that the female-bodied have the same amount of erectile tissue, but it’s almost all inside us.
We have about 5% sticking out of our clitoral glands, but the rest in the vulva, similar to the tissue amount in a penis. If you don’t have good blood flow to the genitals and good sensual massage, warm-up, oral pleasuring, and blood flow, you won’t feel as much. You don’t experience pleasure, and your genitals begin to atrophy.
GAINSWave
GAINSWave is one that I recommend for men. There’s a stack of GAINSwave treatments with P shots using PRPR. I recommend combining those three with a blood flow supplement called FLOW, a nitric oxide supplement.
In the evening, we have a very light dose of Viagra each night because, as a man ages, he gets nighttime erections. I am a massive proponent of GAINSWave, and it knocks off plaque off the arteries and stimulates new tissue growth. Biohacking is stimulating new tissue growth.
REGENERATIVE SEXUAL TECHNIQUES
In this segment, we talk about regenerative sexual techniques, therapies, and treatments. I’ve had some custom illustrations of the erectile tissue system of the female genitalia because it shows you the clitoral head, shaft, arms, legs, the urethral sponge, the perineal sponge, which are all the components of the erectile tissue of the vulva. That’s our buried treasure.
That’s what is essentially inside the penis. It’s full of erectile tissue. As we age, our nitric oxide production, which is what generates the blood flow. Our cardiovascular system has a tone. Our veins have tone. They constrict and relax to shunt blood to the various parts of our body, our brains when we’re thinking, our tummies when we’re having our meal, and our genitals when making love.
As we age, we get a plaque that calcifies and causes the veins and our vascular system brittle and unable to send the blood around because we not only get a plaque, but we lose the ability to produce nitric oxide.
A LACK OF LUBRICATION
As our hormones decline, our nitric oxide decreases. I like people to take an organic nitric oxide supplement. It tops up your nitric oxide systems once you’re over 40. By the time you’re 50, you have half the nitric oxide you did when you were 20. It’s similar to the hormone loss that women suffer. We have the Bartholin’s glands, but they’re antibacterial, and our lubrication comes from blood flow. Our blood plasma is recruited to our pelvic bowl, and it seeps through our vaginal mucosa.
If our blood flow is compromised, we don’t get the lubrication we had. Many women tell me when they start taking a nitric oxide supplement that they’re wet again all of a sudden. I’m walking around soaking in a matter of days of topping up my nitric oxide. I’m like, good for you, sister. In our minds, if we’re wet and moist, we feel more turned on. If we’re dry, we suffer.
MY PUMP OF CHOICE
The pump I recommend is called the Whopper. It has a dual-chamber system that a man can use for 13 weeks every other day to restore erectile function and regain the lost penile volume from atrophy. I’ve written a book that’s been downloaded over 25 000 times. It’s on pumpingguide.com. It has information about GAINSWave, the P shot, and what it is, and how it works.
I’ve interviewed the inventor of the P shot, Dr. Charles Runels. He explains how it works. There are links to the Whopper, how it works, how you restore that lost volume or even use it for penis enlargement.
Many men are smaller than they’d like to be. Not only does it combat the shrinkage of age, which we’re all dealing with, it also bolsters the penile tissue. For women, I’m in love with this product called the VFit. If you use the promo code SUSAN BRATTON, they will give you a discount, which is nice.
THE VFIT
This is a red, low-level, laser light, red light therapy intravaginal device. It goes inside your vagina, and it has warmth, and you can see it gets brighter. It works on vaginal atrophy, thinning of tissue, and incontinence. That’s their number one selling feature.
It helps with incontinence because the red light generates and stimulates the vaginal mucosal mitochondria to get more replacement tissue. The warmth collagenases that tissue without causing damage. The Mona Lisa and Femilifts rely on damaging your vagina to repair it. This is a damage-free vaginal restoration at-home device that’s a third the cost, and you keep it forever. The vibration also provides the vaginal tone that you need for incontinence and lovemaking pleasure. What’s great about it is it increases lubrication. It is also foreplay done for you when you use it every other day for eight weeks. That’s the protocol and then as needed.
MORE ENGORGEMENT
I use it every other day or so as much as I can for 12 minutes a day. I insert in the morning while I have my coffee in bed and scrolling Facebook. It goes deep inside the vagina and brings blood to the cervical area and anterior fornix, not just external spots. Your partner can help stimulate blood flow to your clitoral and labial area or the outer third of your vagina.
The VFit gets the whole vagina fully engorged, and that makes penetrative intercourse much more pleasurable because you’ve got good blood flow going, and you’re well lubricated.
Not everyone has a partner, and there is a particular set of sex tools for healthy aging that I recommend for self-pleasuring.
THE MISS BI
The first one is my favorite. This is Miss Bi. There’s also a Ladybug, which is a bit longer. These are by Fun Factory and the only ones I recommend concerning pleasure sex tools for healthy aging. Many lubes have unpronounceable things in them, and anything that you buy from Target or Walmart will have unpronounceables in it.
I recommend organic refined avocado oil or sweet almond oil. I don’t recommend coconut oil because it has a natural antibacterial component. Your vaginal microbiome has a bacterial stasis if you’re in good shape, and introducing coconut oil can often be disruptive to the biome.
Those are the two I recommend. They’re easy to find on Amazon. You have to use refined avocado oil. Otherwise, it’ll stain your sheets green.
HOBE
The brand I like is not organic, but it’s healthy and beauty-grade. It’s called HOBE, and that’s a pretty good one. For now, I’m working on my pure products. I always say if you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, don’t put it in there because this vaginal mucosa is the same as your oral mucosa.
Going back to why this is the number one tool that I recommend for women, there are two reasons. Number one: This has two motors. That’s why it’s called the Bi, and the two motors are independent. This particular flap is very wide. I like Miss Bi because being smaller and has a nice bump for the G area. It’s a small compact device that vibrates intravaginal and extra vaginally in the clitoral area, your clitoris, the tip, shaft, two arms, two legs.
KEEP THE LUBRICATION GOING
You need to stimulate not just the tip. I say to single women or those who haven’t had sex for a while or want to keep themselves in good sexual shape, please embark on a solo pleasuring practice. Every other day, self-pleasure yourself in the morning or evening with a high-quality tool like this to keep the blood flowing.
It will keep the lubrication going, your pleasure sensation heightened, and your pleasure ability will expand. Using a vibrator will help you cross-train and enjoy penetrative orgasms. It’s a learned skill. Many women keep having intercourse without learning how to have orgasms from intercourse without any clitoral stimulation. The clitoris completely wraps around the vagina. It’s not just that little nub at the top. What’s often missing for women is their partners are going too fast.
Remember, if he thinks about his penis as a tongue rather than a piston, you’ll have better sex.
ASK HIM FOR INTIMACY
The stuff in that box is the buried penile shaft. Tell him to articulate his penis while entering you. As the feminine, you will end up slowing down and guiding him in feeling. Ask him for what you need concerning sensation to achieve climax from penetration, which will increase the desire for you to have sex, improving your overall health.
Instead of your health getting worse because you’re sacrificing yourself for your partner’s good, you’re asking him for intimacy because it’s pleasurable, keeping your relationship happier, and your health improved. A big part of getting to that is using self-pleasuring toys to have deep internal orgasms. You naturally have taught your body how to do it. You’ve created neural pathways naturally. They occur during penetration as well.
THE STEAMY SEX ED® VIDEO COLLECTION
One of my top-selling programs is called The Steamy Sex Ed® video collection. It’s 8 DVDs or videos, and it shows over 200 passionate heart-connected passionate lovemaking techniques. I made this collection for women to see how they want to be made love to. I teach how to transform having sex into making love. It’s perfect for couples to watch together.
I made it for couples to watch together and practice the techniques because you can teach an old dog new tricks. I stand for how much I know men want to give their women pleasure. So when a woman says to me, I don’t know what I want, I just know what I’m getting, isn’t it. I say, watch these 200 techniques. You’ll find something in there that you would like.
People in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are my customers because they get to that age and say, I always thought my sex life could be better, and now I have the time to commit to it. They go through the process, and they’re like, we’re having so much fun.
NEVER TOO LATE
It’s never too late once you start taking FLOW, and using your V-fit and your solo pleasuring, you will be so wet and turned on, so full of life, so flirty, you will start appreciating your body. We’re very judgmental. Estrogen makes us very critical and dissatisfied with things, including our bodies. Men being testosterone-dominant have much more of a daily sex drive. Testosterone makes rose-colored goggles. He doesn’t see our flaws and loves us for who we are. He wants to love our body and our bodies’ responses and wants us not to worry about cellulite, the poochy tummy, or saggy breasts. It feels good to him.
When you have body image issues and can’t relax during lovemaking because you’re continually having self-critical thoughts start remembering, “My body’s amazing. My husband loves me. I’m a beautiful woman.
LOVE AFFIRMATIONS
I have a gorgeous heart. I will let myself surrender to my pleasure and feel joy.
When you begin to do love affirmations, it lowers your stress and increases your arousal. If you can’t love yourself, how the hell is anybody else going to love you. You have to go first and love that girl, guy, or person. You’re with a victim mindset, and many people suffer from betrayal and can never get out of it, and their life is ruined.
THE TIGER
The Tiger is also a Fun Factory product. It’s a thruster, a pulsator, and it goes in and out.
Many women recovering from cancer or surgery want to rebuild their vaginal ability to handle penile penetration. This vibrator is very unusual, and Fun Factory is one of the only ones that make them. They’re very high quality and they’re like the Porsche. They call them pulsators because they can’t say thrusters. It is a harsh word for them.
If you’re very focused, and that’s your initial way of having an orgasm, this product is also very nice. I also like these small ones. I do a lot of primary research in the sexuality space, and one of the things I ask couples is, “What are you good at and bad at in bed?” In their bottom four, most couples don’t incorporate toys into our lovemaking practice. I’m like, “You leave so much pleasure on the table.” If you’re having trouble crossing the ‘gasm chasm, bridging the orgasm gap, if you’re having trouble orgasming from penetration or intercourse, I recommend something small like one of these.
SEXUAL TRAUMA
These are from Hot Octopus. It’s nice when your hands are full of lube to have this. You can have positions where your partner penetrates you, but you still have clitoral stimulation. These are very nice, high-quality motors, like the 21st-century bullet vibe. These are great companions to intercourse or for your purse or pocket.
I want to talk about trauma and healing rough sex to men and women. It can happen through sexual abuse, horseback riding, sports damage. There are many ways you can become traumatized. One of the things is that you hold your trauma in your genitals as a woman and a man. You keep it intra-vaginally if you’re a woman and on the penis and testicles and perineal area for the man, the g-spot.
THE URETHRAL SPONGE
It’s a spongy tissue called the urethral sponge. On page 12 of the book, you will see where the g area is. It’s the tube that surrounds your bladder. Exiting out of your vagina is a spongy tube surrounding that bladder line. It’s located inside your vagina on the roof of your vagina—noon on the vagina’s clock and about one knuckle in.
THE PISTON MENTALITY
This vibrator swoops down and stimulates the area. Have your partner coat his hands with organic avocado or sweet almond oil and externally massage you. Have him slowly warm you up until you’re ready for digital penetration. Apply pressure and slow stroke with side-to-side circles, windshield wipers up and down, but not in and out. This is not a piston. You have to get away from the piston mentality. It’s painful for the vagina, and if you don’t have a partner who can give that to you, these are the sex tools for healthy aging I like.
THE PURE WAND
This is called the nJoy Pure Wand. This has hefty medical grade stainless steel, and you can start with a small knob and progress to the large knob. You insert this yourself, and you can press up against that roof of your vagina and stimulate that area for emotional release.
This is an expensive product. They’re readily available, and you can easily buy them on Amazon. If it has a point, it’s another way to self-stimulate that area. Or have your partner stimulate it for emotional release.
If you have been traumatized, that spot will be very hard, often with ridges and feelings of sadness. If that is true, then you have to go slowly. As you slowly warm it up, it will start to inflate and engorge with blood. You will let go, cry, scream, or make weird sounds. It is your job to let all that go because it’s only a transition portal, and when you are in the thick of it and say, “I don’t think I can go through this again. It makes me so sad,” you’re almost there. Don’t give up. Those are some sex tools for healthy aging that I wanted to show you.
THE OHNUT
There’s one more genius tool I want to show you called the Ohnut. It has funny little bumpers. It’s for women for whom size is an issue, but not the penis being too small but too big. He hurts her when he penetrates her. These go on the base of his penis, and you can stack them to get the right amount of bump.
The bumper surrounds his penis. When he penetrates you, he won’t go as deep, and you can find the right amount. See how they stack up. That way, he still gets the stimulation of the base’s shaft and the penetration, and you can relax because he won’t hurt you.
Women don’t want to be deeply penetrated all the time. That’s another trauma healing management situation.
HEALING MY SEXUALITY
I have a series called Healing My Sexuality with Ariel Giarretto, a somatic experience technique, who uses the Peter Levine formula (train the trainer). She coaches people on somatic experience technique, and she’s an expert in sexual somatic experience technique. We created a series of five or six videos on how to help people with sex.
Most people don’t have their sexuality healed by a therapist or a somatic experience technique therapist. They do it at home with their partner. So we created a video series for partners. What do you do when your partner gets triggered? How do you help them release the trauma? How do you help them get to sexual wholeness? About 80 people across the gender spectrum have been sexually traumatized. It is the norm, not the exception, and most people will never go to someone to have it done.
HEALING PARTNERS
I believe partners heal each other. I like practical stuff. What can I do to help myself? That’s my motto. We started off talking about GAINSave. The 40-year-old rich guys are going in every year or two and getting treatments. They can’t get hard or stay hard, and the older men realize that this technique works for them, but there are some instances of intractable erectile dysfunction. I wanted to point out a tool because many people say they can’t get a girlfriend because they can’t get a hard-on and can’t get it fixed.
NOT OUT OF THE GAME
GAINSWave won’t help me in my particular situation. Often, it’s diabetes for those men. They think they’re out of the game because they can’t get a hard-on, and I say that’s not true for two reasons. One, there are many women for whom penetrative intercourse is off the table for one reason or another, so you can still have great sex without erectile function. There’s an excellent tool. It comes with its remote control by Hot Octopus. It’s a plate that vibrates, and he can use it on himself and put his penis inside it and use it as a sleeve to give himself pleasure, or he can flip it and have his penis inside, and the top vibrates. She can control the vibration with her thumb by putting it near the thing.
They can have her on top while he’s being pleasured because your penis still feels good even if it’s flaccid, and she can sit on top and ride along and stimulate herself.
PROSTATE MASSAGE
The last thing about male erectile health is that prostate massage and stimulation is very important. Most men end up with urine issues, an inability to close off the urine stream. They evacuate the bladder, nighttime sleep disruption from urinary problems through retrograde ejaculations, prostate cancer, etc. The simple thing on top of nutrition and exercise, always the foundation of good health, is prostate gland stimulation.
This is a lovely prostate perineal vibrator for him that includes a constriction device. He puts his penis inside. This part is underneath his scrotal area, gives him prostate stimulation while this part is perfect for holding in the blood flow.
VENOUS LEAKS
A type of erectile dysfunction that men suffer from is venous leaks, which means he can get the blood in, but it won’t stay, and it leaks back out. That’s a flawed vascular system. It can’t lock the blood in. It’s brittle and calcified. This device locks the blood in and stimulates the prostate, which increases his sensation so he can climax. It’s not only the young guys who have trouble with ejaculation due to pornographic masturbation but the old guys too from a loss of neural sensation. They have difficulty ejaculating, and so they have delayed ejaculation or difficulty achieving climax.
Perineal stimulation and this constriction to hold the blood flow in is an excellent way to continue to have intercourse and achieve climax without wearing her out.
There are workarounds, compromises, and fixes for everything holding anyone back from having the lovemaking we all deserve as human beings on this planet.
THE BOTTOMLINE
That’s the bottom line. I want to make sure I answer your questions because that was quite a long show. I will give you links to everything I mentioned.
PRP started as an orthopedic remedy for people with joint pain. They would take a vial of your blood, spin it in a centrifuge, separate the white and red blood cells, and they were left with a fibrin rich matrix. It’s a yellow, golden broth from your blood that contains your stem cells and healing and growth factors that your body uses to repair yourself when you cut yourself or break something or have a trauma.
PLATELET-RICH PLASMA
When we isolate that PRP, platelet-rich plasma from your blood, and re-inject it into a specific area of your body, neck vertebrae, a thumb or toe joint, or a knee, it allows your body to concentrate the growth in healing.
PRP can be used on men’s penises and women’s vulvas. It’s excellent on men’s penises combined with a vacuum erection and traction device for Peyronie’s. It’s perfect for tissue re-volumizing and stimulating new tissue growth for erectile function. I like it combined with GAINSWave treatments, which knock the plaque off the penile arteries and encourage new tissue growth. With the PRP injected into the penis, they numb your penis. It doesn’t hurt. You get that turbocharge of healing, so the effect of GAINSWave is 10x. You go home and do the penis pump every other day, improving and accelerating the healing and atrophy reversal.
In women, it’s perfect for handling trauma, tissue loss, and incontinence. Many women have episiotomy scars or have been damaged from horseback or rough sex. Any woman will have different issues. When you get down to it, you talk to her. It will be like, “My orgasms haven’t been as intense as they used to be, and we don’t even notice how much sensation loss we suffer.”
MY EXPERIENCE
I’m 59, and I started having O shots when I was 55. I’m fortunate that one of my best friends is a world leader in giving O shots. Every time I visit her, I get the whole O shot deal. I had a little spot on the opening to your vagina called your intraoral sphincter. It’s a sphincter muscle that opens and closes in a circle. That gets damaged in many women through various things like childbirth, sex, etc.
Dr. Robyn Benson gave me injections into that sore spot that was always bothering me. It completely healed. She reversed my incontinence and reconstituted my clitoral structure and urethral stricture by putting the O shot material from my body inside.
REGAIN YOUR YOUTH
Because the clitoris and urethra are like sponges, they soak it up, and you get this incredible new nerve growth. I’m 60, and my orgasms feel as intense and delicious as they did when I was 35. It’s like rolling the clock back 20 or 25 years.
You think to yourself, “I had no idea how much sensation loss I suffered. You lose it slowly over the years and don’t realize, and when you get it back, you’re like, “Oh my God!” Plus, as you get older, you use these devices and learn how to have better orgasms.
It’s not just the tip of the clitoris, and you’re done. There are many ways you can orgasm. You can get better at orgasming as you age and can have your youth’s intensity using O shots. I’ve had pain in this little thing. I hurt it scuba diving and had the Regenexx injections in this joint muscle to fix that problem. PRP is wonderful. I also have PRP facelifts and hair lifts.
PRP FOR THINNING HAIR
I’ve always struggled with thinning hair. My family has thinning hair, and a decade ago, I gave up gluten and realized it’s not a genetic issue. Thinning hair is in my family. We’re freaking celiacs. It took a decade to fix my microbiome, and I still have food sensitivities. Fifty years of damage doesn’t reverse overnight, but by the time last year rolled around, I had two PRP hair-lifts when they injected my PRP into my scalp.
I also use a Capilis red laser hat and also take all my B-methylated B-vitamins. I lost about 50% percent of my hair. I’ve got it teased up today and puffed and combed over. I’m going to go again next month and get PRP in my hair because it worked. It made my hair thicker than it had been since I was 30. I got the PRP facelift, which I loved. I used to get Botox and fillers and get the thickened PRP plumped in there, and then the Microderm with the PRP punched into the top layers makes your skin look nice.
VITAMIN D
I had to go out in the sun a lot because of coronavirus. Vitamin D made me feel better. I took injections of liquid vitamin D and sat in the sun every day to live and not die. There were times when I thought I might die from coronavirus. It’s one of many traumas we go through. PRP can be used for myriad types of regenerative health, beauty, sexuality, and pain.
I can’t talk enough about the benefits. I like to take collagen in my morning smoothie, and I want to make my yogurt with a bacterial strain called L. reuteri. MIT and Stanford have studied this particular bacteria strain, and it’s what I use to cultivate my yogurt. I cook it for 36 hours at 100 degrees. I use a yogurt maker called Luvele. It’s a water bath yogurt maker, and it makes the most delicious, healthy, natural yogurt. It depresses your desire for sugar, so it’s perfect for people on weight-loss regimes, people with diabetes, and people who have yeast infections and have sugar cravings.
YOGHURT
It creates a subdermal scaffolding on which the collagen can hang. Taking the collagen is good, but accelerating it with this lactobacillus Autori yogurt for the collagen scaffolding keeps the skin plumped up. If you take hyaluronic acid, the high molecular weight is perfect for skin and eyes. It holds the cellular moisture in, and the low molecular weight hyaluronic acid is ideal for joints.
It is fantastic for your joints to stop cracking. You’re like, “I’m going up and down off the floor again. It’s fantastic.” You have to get into sex positions, so you need to keep your joints in good shape.
You can read all my past newsletters. I’ve got a couple thousand of them, and it’s all searchable by index. So any issue I’ve mentioned, or if I haven’t, you can go to personallifemedia.com and use the search bar there, and you’ll go into a rabbit hole that you never even imagined was possible.
I have a couple of hundred videos about everything you could sexually imagine free to access at betterlovernew.wpengine.com.
HOT TO TROT
Here’s the Hot To Trot book, and below the video are links to everything we talked about to find that particular thing you want. You can’t do it all, but you can do the next best to take care of yourself.
