Beyond Routine: Discovering the “Flavor” of Deeper Connection
Many people believe that for a relationship to thrive, you must find a soulmate who wants exactly what you want, but that might actually be a recipe for boredom over time. Real growth happens when we move past performative roles and embrace a co-creative journey of unbridled surrender and shared presence. We often think we’re “broken” when things get rocky, but the truth is we are often just uneducated in the art of conscious partnership. By shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, you can unlock ecstatic states of bliss and heart-connected closeness that go far beyond the surface. Understanding your unique relationship values—and how they differ from your partner’s—is the secret to keeping the spark alive for decades. It’s about being radically honest about what you desire and creating a space where both partners feel safe to express their most authentic selves.
Full Transcript
Flavor of Techniques that We Teach – 4mins 35secs
[00:00:00]Susan: But you know how I was saying that, that Tim provides that safety and security.
[00:00:04]Susan: I think that’s a very common feminine trait, but that’s not at all what men want generally.
[00:00:09]Susan: They’re not, they don’t walk in the world unsafely. They, you know, they’ve got testosterone dominance. They, they’re very sure that, what is it? What does Jane always say? She’s like always sure sometimes, right?
[00:00:22]Tim: Yeah, Al always certain.
[00:00:23]Susan: Always certain, sometimes right, sometimes right. That’s men.
[00:00:27]Tim: Yep.
[00:00:28]Susan: But that’s testosterone.
[00:00:29]Susan: And we, when we were going through a rocky times, there were a few things that really helped us. The first one was being honest, the second one was learning, realizing we had things we could learn, that we weren’t broken, we were just uneducated. And having that growth mindset about everything else in our life served us well to understand that you don’t really need much training to make a baby, to have sex, have intercourse, but that’s [00:01:00] not what passionate heart connected conscious love making is, which is what we like to teach and we like to have, and it’s not that we don’t enjoy kinky things or BDSM things or tantric things, but in some ways I honestly feel like those are performative.
[00:01:21]Susan: They are a thing that you do that has, its like role play and what I, the distinction that I like about what. The kind of the flavor of techniques that we teach are that you enter into ecstatic, conjoined trance states of bliss and orgasm together.
[00:01:45]Susan: They’re very heart connected, they’re very sensual, erotic, close.
[00:01:51]Susan: And that’s a little bit different than the kind of performative processes of some of the [00:02:00] other types of sexuality. And I like all those too. But too much is prescribed and not just unbridled surrender in co-creative pleasure. So that I think is an important distinction. And when we were learning the expanded orgasm practice, we were, you know.
[00:02:27]Susan: Releasing my traumas through G-Spot healing. We were becoming radically honest and telling our truths we were doing these things. But there was one more piece that was really important, and it was that we began to understand our relationship values, what it is that he wants most out of a relationship with me and what I want most out of a relationship with him.
[00:02:54]Susan: Some of them are a match and some of them are different. Do you want to say what they are? Mm-hmm.
[00:02:59]Tim: Well, yeah, [00:03:00] so you know, it turns out everybody has different things that they want in a relationship, and a lot of people think, oh, I need to find my, you know, my soulmate, who will want exactly the same things I do.
[00:03:13]Tim: I think that’s. It’s a mistake for two reasons. One, it’ll be like statistically nearly impossible to find that person. And then the second thing is, if you found them, you’d probably get bored. Yeah. Because if they like all exactly the same stuff you do, you will not, I mean, you know, you might be fine for a while, but you know, 10, 20, 30 years in, you’ll probably be bored with each other.
[00:03:37]Susan: Yeah.
[00:03:38]Tim: So
[00:03:38]Susan: not enough novelty and variety.
[00:03:40]Tim: Yeah. And, well for Susan that’s super important because it literally is one of her relationship values. So, and it may have changed since the last time we did the work worksheet ’cause we, we literally have this, you know, relationship magic worksheet thing
[00:03:55]Susan: that we do.
[00:03:55]Susan: Yeah. It’s a workbook. I’ll give it to you guys
[00:03:57]Tim: it was so transformative for us. But [00:04:00] essentially it’s you, you decide, you have all these list of values and you just think about, well, if I were in the perfect relationship, what would I have? And so for me, my number one is passion.
[00:04:14]Tim: And to me that means I love it when Susan dresses up in sexy, lingerie, slutty, slutty,
[00:04:20]Susan: bloody
[00:04:20]Tim: lingerie. Let’s, let’s be radically honest.
[00:04:22]Susan: Let’s be honest. Super. This is not a baby doll sheese. This is like a couple of strings and my boobs are hanging out and my pussy is hanging out, and I’m -wearing slutty shoes and garters and stockings, et cetera.
