Read on to learn more about desire and arousal.
Good morning. How are you? Thanks for showing up today. We will have quite a ride together. You’re going to ride my bike today. Let me tell you how it’s going to go. First, I will overview the fundamentals of our sexuality, things we don’t fully understand about ourselves that impact pleasure and intimacy.
I’ve got a bit of Susie’s sexy show-and-tell. I’ll demonstrate some of my ideas. This is your personalized sex life plan because, like anything in your life, you stay where you are if you don’t have a goal or something you want to accomplish. Your sex life is part of your personal growth. Your sexual growth and maturation are a part of your personal growth. You can deepen your love and open your heart.
You can expand your pleasure if you have good tools. I don’t mean sex tools, but education, understanding techniques, and communication skills. I will take you through a guided visualization of what’s possible in your life, and I hope you’ll have a sex life bucket list at the end of this session.
You think to yourself, and I would like to do that. That’s on my bucket list. I want you to leave today with even more on your bucket list. I’ve been teaching people how to transform having sex into making love for 20 years. I’ve been thinking about sex every day and having it multiple times a week, sometimes daily, except when I’ve been ill because your libido is the other side of your health.
If you’re not healthy, your libido is low. I’ve had the opportunity to help people try things and see if they worked. Many experts in their field are impenetrable. They’re not there for you.
My career for the last 20 years has been not being a therapist. I’m a trusted hot sex advisor who answers people’s questions by email, talks to them at events, has them slide into my DMs and ask me personal questions, and gives them advice and gets feedback.
You’ve helped me become good at what I do. I am good and can help people. When you get your assessment, there’s the do-it-yourself and have-done-for-you option. The Do-it-yourself thing is that I have hundreds of videos at betterlover.com and thousands of articles I’ve written searchable at personallifemedia.com.
You can email or DM me if you’ve had a burning question. I would be happy to hear from you and answer your questions as we go through the next 45-50 minutes.
I will refer you to my resources because the landscape of sexuality is so vast that I can’t cover it all in an hour. Sometimes, I’ll tell you where to get more information. This morning, we’re doing a hop, skip, and jump over all possibilities.
Over the years, I’ve created sex techniques, pleasure, and orgasm skills. I’ve created bedroom communication skills so you can tap into what you want and ask for it with confidence. I’ve helped people fix their plumbing because if your body’s not working right, sex doesn’t go well.
The third leg of my stool has been sexual biohacking, reversing the clock on aging our genitals because they atrophy like the rest of us. We can’t escape it, but we can fight against it. Those three things have been the platform upon which I’ve given great advice over the years. I found that people want most from me and seem to enjoy the most when I inspire them with ideas for having fun in the bedroom.
As I walk you through this assessment, I’m giving you these great ideas for fun, sexy things. In sex, items become very appealing. Other times you’re like s that’s not my thing. I don’t like that. I want you to allow yourself to ride the ride. Notice what appeals to you. Let go of what doesn’t.
You don’t have to like it all. We’re here for you to shop for the hot sexy things that sound fun. In the assessment, you’ll have an a, b, and c. A is what I want to do. That’s on my bucket list—what a great idea. I’d heard about that. I’d like to do that now. It’s the right time in my life for that experience. The B’s are not for me, but if my partner wanted to do it, I’d be open because your partner is a rich source of possibility if you’re lucky enough to have one.
My darling husband, Tim Bratton of 30 years, is an ever-flowing fountain of sexy ideas. I like all of them, and they’re things I would have never thought of myself. When you come together with fantasy sharing and ideas, you can come up with good stuff. Those are your B’s. Your C’s are “It’s not for me right now.”
You never know what used to sound yucky to you suddenly is quite exciting, and you’d like to explore it. Hold open possibilities for everything and try to zero in on the exciting things.
Let’s start with an overview of the big picture of sexuality. I will talk about libido, desire, and arousal because they’re three separate things. Then, I’ll talk about the anatomy of ageless sexuality. Ageless sexuality is you can have hot sex for the rest of your life. I am 60 years old and have had the best sex of my life.
I want to talk about sex tech because many people still haven’t fully embraced the available pleasure tools and toys. I’ll talk about intercourse because most of us are in heterosexual monogamous relationships.
Underneath my clothes are sparkling rainbows. I embrace all gender expressions, the ever-fluid gender expression. However, you want to show up at whatever moment is good with me. The big bell curve of people is a boy and girl, and there will be intercourse. There are a lot of misnomers about intercourse. One is that if you’re a woman and haven’t had an orgasm from intercourse, you often think, maybe I’m not a woman who can have an orgasm from intercourse. I’ll focus on oral or use my vibrator and enjoy the intimacy with my male-bodied partner.
The problem is that all orgasms are learned skills, and if you’re in a long-term heterosexual monogamous relationship with a penis owner, it would be good to enjoy intercourse. I want to expose you to penetration orgasm techniques that might help you cross the orgasm chasm. Dr. Laurie Mintz talks about the orgasm gap, which is it’s easy for men to have an orgasm from intercourse. For example, men’s number one issue in sexuality is premature ejaculation. They want to last longer. They come too fast. Women’s number one issue in sexuality is they struggle to achieve orgasm. I want to close that gap and want everyone to cross the orgasm chasm and learn to have mutual simultaneous long super-pleasurable intercourse, oral, etc.
Then, I will talk about all the orgasms you can have because there are 20 different orgasms for the male and female bodies. How can you have them if you don’t even know what they are? The minute you hear about them, you’re like, I want that one because it sounds good. I want to expose you to those orgasms.