Unlearning Monogamy: Breaking Free from the Default | Polyamorous Evolutions w/ Roy Graff & Susan Bratton
What if everything you were taught about love, relationships, and commitment was based on someone else’s rules—not your own? In this powerful episode of Polyamorous Evolutions, Roy Graff and Susan Bratton dig deep into the unspoken programming behind monogamy and how to break free from it.
From childhood fairy tales to social expectations, monogamy is often served as the “default.” But what happens when we start questioning that narrative? Roy shares his lived experience and therapeutic insights to help you navigate the sometimes messy, always meaningful journey into non-monogamy.
Episode Highlights:
[00:00] Meet Roy & Susan and the intention behind this series
[01:15] The uneven path of transitioning into non-monogamy
[02:00] How applying monogamous thinking to polyamory creates pain
[03:00] Relationship escalator: the social script we didn’t consent to
[04:00] Monogamy as a tool of control and protection—especially for women
[07:00] Sovereignty, safety, and the shifting power dynamics in relationships
[08:00] Moving from scarcity to abundance in love
[09:00] Making space for evolving desires and inclusive partnerships
Key Takeaways:
Society conditions us to see monogamy as the only valid relationship model.
Transitioning to non-monogamy requires deprogramming deeply rooted beliefs.
Jealousy, security, and love can all be reframed in expansive, healthier ways.
Unlearning is a process—mistakes, slow progress, and support are all part of it.
Non-monogamy opens up a spectrum of connection beyond the “default couple.”
Key Takeaways:
